The Adventures of the NSP

It’s fall here in the city & there is more than a hint of chill in the air.  The chill has found it’s way to my bedroom as well.  It’s hard to believe that summer was just a few weeks ago.  The summer was full of delicious scandals which by now I can’t even remember why it was so delicious.  It’s like it was a blockbuster for one weekend & then was not talked about by the next because there was a new hotness to discuss.  There were tons of new friends made & I was just sure that they would make the fall season premiere episode.  But, just like ‘Tori’ on Saved By the Bell they were quickly nixed & more attention was paid to the core cast.  (Even if some members HAD dropped off the face of the earth)  What has somehow been consistent & a story line that has spilled over from summer would be what is my love life.

Boys boys boys
We like boys in cars
Boys boys boys
Buy us drinks in bars
Boys boys boys
With Hairspray and denim
Boys boys boys
We love them!

Now some of you may some may scoff & roll your eyes & say this topic is no different than any other season in your life Nick.  Boys in the morning, boys in the evening & boys at suppertime.  You have boys to warm you up in the winter, boys that try to give you golden showers in the spring (to that I say ewww never!) and boys that you trip over trying to get to the next one in the fall.  To this I say, “Whatevs bitches, you don’t know me!”  What I am confused about is this trend that started shortly before my bday.  Somehow everyone I have met that I have been interested in has had a boyfriend.  In the beginning I didn’t mind at all.  I think I welcomed it actually.  It was a perfect example of let me get mine, you get yours so you can get the fuck out.

Looking for some education
Made my way into the night
All that bullshit conversation
Well baby can’t you read the signs?

I won’t bore you with the details baby
I don’t even want to waste your time
Let’s just say that maybe
You could help to ease my mind
Baby, I ain’t Mr. Right

But if you’re looking for fastlove
If that’s love in your eyes
It’s more than enough
Had some had bad luck
So fastlove is all that I’ve got on my mind

I’m not the only one with this opinion.  In a city where the next brand new hotness is just down the street it’s so easy to not get caught up over someone. Especially if you have already done the relationship thing & it hasn’t worked out.  I was talking to a friend the other day & asked how his date went. Virtually shrugging he said, “Eh, it was ok but I don’t need to take it any further.”  And it is kind of true.  You can see where something is going pretty early on & if it isn’t going anywhere then there is no need to string something(one) on.  I probably sound jaded.  Most of my friends probably sound the same way.  I know it’s a far cry from my desperate to be in love state in my mid twenties.  I’m just trying to explain how I didn’t mind meeting the hot guys with bfs…. at first.

Hey there sugar baby
Saw you twice at the pop show
You take just like glitter
Mixed with rock and roll
I like you a lot lot
Think you’re really hot hot

I’m not loose, I like to party
Let’s get lost in your Ferrari
Not psychotic or dramatic
I like boys and that is that
Love it when you call me legs
In the morning buy me eggs
Watch your heart when we’re together
Boys like you love me forever

Boy after boy & especially around my bday I was meeting guys that either had bfs or were semi-attached.  There was one occasion I think I was used to make someone jealous.  Which is something I’m not shocked about.  What did shock me was somehow I was attracting these guys one after one. 7 guys later I have to say I’m annoyed. A few weeks ago I was talking about this matter with some friends having pre-drinks at my apt before we went out.  Then, we go out & a really hot guy started to kick his game with me.  After investing a whole 15 minutes in him (it may have been longer), I thought to ask him a question.  ”Do you have a boyfriend?”  He stopped and goes, ‘If I did, would that be a problem?”  I rolled my eyes & said politely for him to get the fuck away from me.  Ok, so it wasn’t polite & I probably looked like I was bucking for best dramatic actor at a gay club opening.  But people, seriously the count is at 8! Meanwhile, my dating life over the past year & a half has been almost a blank slate.  It’s a sad thing when you realize that you’ve had more ‘dates’ with an ex than you have actually had with other people.

In the absence of security
I made my way into the night
Stupid cupid keeps on calling me
But I see nothing in his eyes
I miss my baby, oh yeah
I miss my baby tonight
So why don’t we make a little room
In my BMW babe
Searching for some peace of mind
Hey I’ll help you find it
I do believe that we are practicing
The same religion
You really ought to get up now

It’s funny that recently I have totally missed those feelings of having someone there to count on other than myself. Those feelings like I wasn’t alone & had someone that actually loved me.  I got the news that I would go back on medication to stop the seizures from happening again.  Which I’m ok with.  But, I was told that there is still basically a tumor left in my brain.  They had gotten the majority of it but could not get the smallest bit of it so basically they have to monitor it & make sure it doesn’t grow.  If it does, then I would have to go through radiation therapy or have surgery again.  So please picture my face when I got this news.  I feel like all of this should’ve been told to me properly a long time ago but somehow it wasn’t.  But to avoid sounding like an angry crazy person about to go on a Kanye rant, I look at it like this:  I’ve been fine since the tumor was removed (most of it) & I had one little set back.  I will not let it get me down & just keep doing what I do. I can’t worry about what the future does or does not hold.  I’ll end up missing the present.  I’ll keep looking for affirmation.  Hopefully this also means that the ones with bf’s will not be looking for me.  I may not be looking for Mr. Right but somehow I need something a little more than Mr. Right Now.

Last night I was able to attend Divas Live at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.  I had scored some casted seats & I brought my friend Chase as my guest.  For years I have been hoping they would bring back the show.  I had always watched it since the first one in 98.  I have so many favorite moments from the years:

• Mariah running around with big hair Making It Happen, singing Chain Of Fools with Aretha, Aretha looking like she may just eat every diva on the stage as an appetizer, Carole King just singing for all she’s worth even though you can’t hear a peep out of her mouth, Celine beating herself in the chest because she is the greatest singer in the world, Shania rocking some really hot pants
• Cher, Tina & Elton bringing the house down, Tina & Elton having their own semi bitch fight while bringing the bitch back, Whitney sweating like she had done rails of coke for days (oh wait she probably had)
• Mariah opening the 2000 show with Heartbreaker/Love Hangover, her whole Supreme’s number with Diana Ross (broken dress straps & all), Destiny’s Child when they were undergoing their whole line up change

Wait!  With the way I’m talking you would think I am only eating up the drama of it all.  Ok don’t we all? But what it really is all about is the singing.  So when I found out who I was gonna get to see I was very excited.  I have followed Leona Lewis since she started on X-Factor (thank goodness for you tube).  I was loving some Bleeding Love MONTHS before she had even released it here.  I actually like her version of A Moment Like This better than Kelly’s.  I’ve been a fan of Kelly since the beginning of Idol.  The whole Breakaway album was amazing.  One of my favorite songs by her has to be Sober because that came to be my anthem for 6 months after the whole tumor situation.  Chasing Pavements was my theme song as well when I was trying to look for an apt in the first few months of 08.  Adele’s album is absolutely brilliant & I hope the follow up is just as wonderful.  Jordin Sparks is a wonderful talent in her own right as well.  Her new single is quite infectious as well.  The gays LOVE some Jennifer Hudson!  When I saw Dreamgirls the night it opened in the Ziegfield theater it was like watching a Broadway show.  People clapping & cheering & standing o’s at the end.  Then there was Miley Cyrus.  Wait, hold up, what?  Is someone pulling my leg?  I always wanted to get to 6 foot but just missed it unless I’m wearing my big boy shoes.  It was like that classic phrase ‘One of these things is NOT like the other’.

So when Chase & I got there everything was a little disorganized & we were waiting around for seats for a while.  Then someone asked us if we wanted to be down in the pit.  Now mind you, my shoulders STILL hurt (yes 3 weeks later) & I wasn’t sure about standing the whole time.  Also, Chase is about 8 feet tall so he didn’t think that would work out.  BUT, we did it anyway & can I say it was totally worth it.  We got to see everything up close & very personal.  From Paula’s opening of dancing to old hits & lip-syncing her ass off to The Desperate Housewives going on & on while Chase was right behind them.  The stage seemed quite small even though on tv it looks a little bigger.  The set looked wonderful & the dancers were wonderful.  We were able to see plenty of celebs.  My fav had to be my man Ryan from True Blood.  LOVE that Aussie accent!  Our pit coordinator Kiki kept trying to get some of the people in the pit to be more crazy.  At one point she told a bunch of kids that the need to fake it like how Meg Ryan faked it in ‘When Harry Met Sally’.  I bursted out laughing when they all had blank faces.  I looked at her & reminded her that they were not old enough to even know that movie.  I have actually never even seen that movie but just knowing that made me feel old.  I looked at one of the kids & asked who they were there for.  A bubbly little blonde girl squealed ‘Miley!!!!’

Ok so I have to be honest I have liked some of her songs.  See You Again, The Climb, Fly On the Wall & Party In The USA are really catchy.  She annoys me but the kid is 16.  I was probably just as annoying at that age.  So imagine my surprise when she came out & performed.  Her voice leaves a little to be desired BUT she sang everything live.  Which seems to be a hard task for others.  She mingled with the audience & I really liked her duet with Sheryl on If It Makes You Happy.  How cheeky that she got to sing the line about ‘I still get stoned’.  I’m sure parents & the blogs will comment about that.  It kind of makes me like her more.  Guess I’m gonna have to come out of the closet now. Yep, I like Miley Cyrus.  I still think she’s got years to become a diva but to each his own.

Some gays on the other side of the pit went buh nan uzzz when Jennifer Hudson came out.  She opened with Spotlight & I love that song.  She looked great & fresh with a little baby weight.  When she performed with Stevie I was semi bored because I didn’t know the song.  Then, they started riffing & breaking it down & I began to hoot & holla!  When she was done she was really humble & gave the gays her love.

Jordin Sparks got the crowd excited with her new single S.O.S.  She was looking all glammed up & posing & strutting on the catwalk.  She is definitely coming into her own.  Her duet with Martina McBride was really beautiful as well & they both sounded wonderful.

Kelly Clarkson came out in a lovely green dress to do her newest single Already Gone.  It sounded really nice.  I loved the whole acoustic vibe of it.  Much will be said about her weight.  I saw her on the cover of Self magazine recently & once again I don’t know who that person.  She must have eaten Kelly bc that girl on the cover was way slim.  But whatevs, Kelly likes to eat & she is a good role model showing that you don’t have to be stick then & look like those bitches from the Hills.  When they came out I was bored to tears.  I can not stand those girls & they have no talent what so ever.  So to Kelly, Rock ON! And that is exactly what she did when she closed the show with Melissa Etheridge, who I am a BIG fan of.  Mmmhhmm that’s right, this gay can get his inner lesbian rock star on when he listens to her.  So I was actually jumping up & down when they went into Bring Me Some Water.  It was awesome & a perfect way to end the show.

Adele was the only one who came out & said hello to everyone before the beginning of the show.  She really seems like a lovely girl & I was hoping that she would do Hometown Glory. It’s one of my favorites from the album & I’m so glad she did it.  She sounded amazing & barely got the last note out because everyone was yelling so loud.  Her duet with India Arie was awesome & I enjoyed it immensely.

I have to say Leona was my personal favorite because I simply love her voice. The new single is destined to repeat a #1 success, mark my words.  She looked stunning & flawless & I especially liked the dancers for this number as well.  It was very fitting.  Her duet with Cyndi Lauper was awesome.  This was the same arrangement that Cyndi did on Idol with that rocker chick & I loved being able to hear it live.  Cyndi is timeless & she’s gonna be 90 yrs old still singing about some True Colors.  But it’s all good because she’s bad ass like that.

I was hoping I would be able to take actual pictures throughout the show but alas, security wasn’t having it.  So the only time I managed to snap away was the end when they were all standing together.  At least I have it in my memory and it is on tv so I can watch over & over to see myself.  I watched a little when I got home & you can see Chase throughout the whole thing.  I had an awesome time & so glad that I got to go.

I haven’t been excited for the VMA’s in a long ass time.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or because they don’t show videos really anymore but MTV to me hasn’t had me on the edge of my seat in quite some time. But this year, it had me bursting with fruit flavor as if I was one of those kids that needs a haircut.  You know, the hairdo that has taken over for young men in their teens & early twenty’s.  If I tried to grow out my shit I would just look like I’m trying to be on Divas Live.

But look at me, getting away from the topic at hand and trying to make it all about me.  What a douchey thing to do right?  So lets discuss this years VMA’s. When the show opened and showed a woman that seemed recognizable I was like who is this?  Then I realized it was my queen M and her new face.  I thought her speech was great about Mike but for a hot second I thought that she was going to introduce Janet.  Which to me would have been major drama considering they do not get along. Needless to say it didn’t happen but when the tribute happened I thought it was some awesome dancing & I only wished I could be up there moving & shaking with all of them.  Everyone was on point, even thought the one dancer during the Smooth Criminal segment looked like he may fall over at any given moment.  But props to him I have never been able to do that lean & have always wondered how Mike did it.  Then the beginning of Scream & I began to squeal with delight.  No Janet didn’t sing it live but those were redone vocals.  When it came time for the breakdown I couldn’t help but get a little sad because I remember Michael commenting back in the day that he loved getting in a room & dancing with his sister.  And even though he wasn’t there…. in a strange way it was like he was. A very touching tribute indeed.  I gotta add seeing Tina dancing along side Janet was awesome, as well as J Lo’s ex Cris Judd.

Russell Brand makes me giggle & I think he’s a good host.  No need to apologize about past comments about Bush & purity rings.  I can’t help but think those purity rings are just another name for cock rings.  Then again, I am a dirty bitch.  Luckily it was time for all my ladies to do some battle.  Best female video.  It was either gonna be my girl Beyonce or my crazy bitch that I live for GaGa.  Then outta nowhere Taylor Swift!  What?!  I was shocked.  I have her cd & I like her songs but I was just sure it was gonna be B or GaGa.  Clearly I wasn’t the only one.  EVERYone is talking about the antics of Kanye & I hate to jump on the bandwagon but that motherf*cker continues to annoy the shit out of him.  I like some of his music but I swear he is forever saying some shit or bawling over not winning an award.  This one wasn’t even his to win.  He wasn’t even featured in any of the songs.  WTF Kanye?  You’re a grown ass man, older than me mind you ; ) and you have to take the mic away from a sweet 19 year old southern girl?  Taylor reminds me of every girl I went to high school with or knew back in the south.  She’s quite simply put, a girl’s girl.  All the girls would want to be her friend & all the boys would follow her around.  She never says anything bad about anybody & in his moment of stealing hers I found myself saying, “Fuck him, you deserve that win.  You have the best selling album of 2009 so far.”  Then like 10 minutes later she was going to perform.  I wondered how she would handle it.  For most teens it may have posed as too much.  But she got up there (or should I say down there) and did her thing.  I was like how did they get no one to crowd 6th Ave at 42nd?  It made me wanna dance & sing & act a fool on the F.  I used to take that train everyday for work.  Too bad it wasn’t that festive all the time.

When it was time for Gaga I was on the edge of my seat.  The set was amazing & it looked like something straight out of the theater.  I love the song & her dancers were balletic & on point.  I saw quite a few dancers I recognized from So You Think You Dance.  The piano playing was nice & then came the ‘blood’.  I live for her Pop Art but this whole look of I just started my period on stage left me a little queezy.  I found myself saying out loud, “Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?”  Her costumes throughout the night continued to be insane & that whole froc at the end when she won best new artist left me scratching my head.  But I lived for your props to the gays & I find myself jealous of Perez for being your gay bf when I’ve been a fan way longer than he has.  Gaga, I’m your biggest fan… I’ll follow you until you love me.  Even if it’s some messy bloody coochie-azzi.  (Ummm just saying that I feel I need a bath)

Pink is the baddest lesbian straight chick out there.  I love her & I always have. Massive props to that whole acrobatic but still singing live performance of Sober.  I have a slight fear of heights & all I could think of if that was me I would have dislocated my shoulder right then & there.  I’m going to be seeing her live next month so I can’t wait to see her for that for her show.  It’s sure to be awesome.

People seem to either hate or love Beyonce but I’ve been a fan since she busted out with some No, No, No back in 98 with Destiny’s Child.  And I HAVE to say B killed it during her performance.  I liked the whole singing live bit for the beginning and then breaking that shit down.  Recently my friend Kareem was telling me about how hard it is to do the choreography to that song AND sing live.  Mind you this was just for karaoke at a bar so just imagine how that’s upgraded for the VMA’s. Clearly B felt the same way because once she started dancing those backing vocals kicked in.  Later, B took off the Sasha Fierce cap & replaced it with her Halo by giving Taylor her due.  Clearly, B IS A CLASS ACT & Kanye needs to check his huge Ego & learn something from this wonderful lady.

I didn’t really care about the other performers.  Yes, Green Day is cool but I don’t live for em.  That other band, The Muse…..ok.  I took a pee break.  The whole Twilight phenom is lost on me.  I was bored to tears during that movie.  I prefer my vampires on True Blood.  But when that chick asked what team you were on I felt really dirty for saying I am on Team Taylor since that kid is like 16 with the body of a man.  Eminem’s new face scares me & I’ve been over him & all his hype for quite some time.  I was excited to see Brit win.  I hope she celebrated with some cheetos & a frappachino & some sexy times.  I was bored during Jay-Z’s performance & kept saying, “Pull up your pants!” Alicia did a nice job & looked gorgeous.  Then all of a sudden I saw a little midget tranny run upstage to literally try to do a gangster pose.  Oh wait, that’s just Lil’ Mama.  Ummm Lil’ Tranny, your lip gloss ain’t popping no mo.  So sit your ass down.

There it is, my 2 cents worth.  Big ups to all the ladies.  Showing that you don’t have to be divas all the time & let everyone have their moments.  Now I need to get back to work.  I’m gonna be attending the Divas Live concert this Thurs so you can best believe I’ll be giving my 5 cents worth on Friday.  Have a great week everyone!

Hey, what did you hear me say
you know the difference it makes
what did you hear me say
Yes, I said it’s fine before
I don’t think so no more
I said it’s fine before
I’ve changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
’cause I’ve been changing my mind
I’ve changed my mind

Hello everyone.  I meant to blog weeks ago.  I had all these things that I wanted to devote a couple blogs to and then something else came up & put me for a loop.  I still plan on doing these blogs but for now I’ll discuss the events at the end of August.  Picture it.  Bamboo 52.  I’m hanging with my friend Jaime on his bday & I decide to make it an early night.  I had went out the night and had a good time & I actually didn’t feel like making it a long night.  I also decided to have just one drink,  no need to get crazy.  So by midnight on a Friday night I was in bed waiting to get my sleep on.  A first in quite some time and when I woke up at 2:30 (just a few hrs later) I thought it was much later.  Looking at the clock I realized hardly any time had gone by but somehow I felt like my body had literally fought a war.  My shoulders were in a bit of pain & when I went to the bathroom & looked at my tongue I freaked out.  I had clamped down on the left side of it & it was all red.  Looking at my shoulders I was confused because they felt like they were dislocated but they didn’t appear that way at all.  Not being able to barely move either one of them I decided I should get myself to the ER.  It was in this moment I thought that I had had a seizure in my sleep & in this moment I feared the absolute worst.  Had the tumor grown back?

I tried to remain composed as I told the nurses & the doctors what had happened & I told them all about my history.  They asked when the last time I had a seizure was & I told them almost 2 years ago when they discovered the tumor & took it out.  So they decided to do a CAT scan of my head & x-rays of my shoulders.  I couldn’t help but kind of freak out even though I was trying to remain as calm as possible on the outside.  The nurse told me that I seemed so calm.  I told her that it may appear that way but on the inside I was going nanners.  My words exactly.  It was like I was instantly transported back to ‘07. When I went through it the first time everything was new & I had no idea what to expect.  This time it was like all of those fears & feelings hit me at once. The thought of going through all of that again was too much to take.  I thought about how other people who have gone through something similar must feel.  People who have beat cancer or something else & then the thought of it coming back.  The place your head goes when these thoughts happen is a scary place.  Then, the dr came back with my results.  She said that nothing showed up on the CAT scan & the x-rays didn’t show any dislocation of either shoulder.  She even suggested that maybe I had not had a seizure at all.  In that quick second I thought maybe I had in fact gone nanners.

So I left & went home.  Still in pain.  Still wondering what the hell had happened.  By the next day the place on my tongue turned black & it hurt to eat.  My shoulders were still in major pain & I could not move them above my head.  I had to call out of work the next day & I went to my dr.  He gave me anti-inflammatory meds (which have NOT worked) & we did blood work.  It was gonna be a few more days before I could do the MRI so I was just left to wonder what would happen.  This lead to me reading too much stuff on the web.  I tried to take it with a grain of salt.  I started reading about things that cause seizures.  It of course said tumor and I of course wanted to think of something else.  It then mentioned alcohol withdraw.  I couldn’t help but laugh. I was like, “WTF?!  Was my body mad at me because I decided to stay in on a Friday night & not drink?  Was my head confused?  Did that internal clock say it is 2 am Friday night & there should be some alcohol in my system?”  I hope that gave you all a giggle because my dr looked at me & semi-laughed when I brought it up to him.  In a dry kind of way he said, “Mr. Padron that is not meant for you.  That’s meant for people who drink a bottle a day for 20 years & then all of a sudden stop.”  I looked at him & said, “Oh.”

Next was my MRI & as always I felt a little claustrophobic being in it.  I swear that thing feels like a coffin.  So for 30 minutes I tried to think happy thoughts & just look forward to it being over.  Earlier that day my regular dr had told me that the results of my blood work came back fine but I had definitely had a seizure.  He said that the normal blood count in someone’s muscles was 100.  Mine had come back at 1100!  That explained why I felt like I had fought a war & at least I knew I wasn’t crazy & I knew I had had a seizure.   This whole thing had put a major damper in my Labor Day Weekend plans.  I had originally planned on going out to Fire Island & hanging with my boys & probably drink a little too much & flirt WAY too much.  Now it wasn’t gonna happen.  My poor arms looked like I had been hanging with Amy Winehouse while on a bender & the bruise on my arm looked like I had been on too many dates with Chris Beat Her Down Brown.  Basically I looked like a HOT MESS.

So where did you see me go
it’s not the right way, you know
where did you see me go
No, it’s not that I don’t know
I just don’t want it to grow
It’s not that I don’t know
I’ve changed my mind
I take it back

I decided to hang with my Sober Sister Ej on Fri & Sunday night.  We danced a lil at the Ritz.  Mind you, my dancing was highly tamed down.  As in I could only do my interpretation of some hips don’t lie because I sure as hell couldn’t raise them arms.  On Saturday night I went to go see 9 to 5 for the second time.  Big thanks to Chase for that.  I ended up having a wonderful time.  I was going to be the date to one of Allison Janney’s friends.  When I got there I immediately was surprised because I had seen her in a lot of films but didn’t know her name.  I told her I saw her in tons of things & she said all sly, “Oh stop!  I haven’t been in tons of things!”  I said, “You lie, I saw you in a movie just the other day!”  She smiled & we became instant besties.  When the show was over I went with her to hang with the cast & I was so excited.  I’m a big fan of the show & I’ve always loved Allison in everything I’ve seen her in.  It’s funny because now all week I keep seeing Octavia (new bestie) in tons of movies that have been showing this week.  Legally Blonde 1 & 2, Beauty Shop, Miss Congeniality 2 & Spider Man just to name a few.  Mind you, I’ve had a lot of alone time on my hands.  A lot of time to chill basically. A lot of time to re-evaluate things.  Sunday was calm as well & by the night Ej & I just bar hopped & ended up at Xes doing karaoke.  Once again, I couldn’t give my all to it but vocally I was ripping up some Poker Face.  If I could have done the acoustic version it would have been utter hotness.  By the next day I thought hmmmm maybe this whole not drinking thing really does wonders for my voice lol.  On Monday I had a nice time at a BBQ at my friend Eric’s new place & I had a few drinks but nothing major.  For those of you worried, I asked my dr if he thought I should lay off the sauce & he said I should be ok but not to get too crazy.  Another good reason I did not go out to Fire Island because I know what it is out there.

Finally, a few days ago my dr called me & told me the results of the MRI.  He said everything looked good.  It was in fact better than it had been since the last time I had an MRI done.  He said the seizure was most likely from scar tissue.  My next thing I have to do is to see a neurologist & find out if I have to go back on medication for seizures.  I hated the stuff before but as I look at my poor arm & as it is still in pain, all I know is that I don’t want to have to deal with this again. I don’t want to get into a fight with myself & lose.  So just send happy thoughts my way.  It’s like I’m fricking Shelby from Steel Magnolia’s.  There’s all these things I want to do but my poor body won’t let me.  Meanwhile, I’m too headstrong & stubborn & the not being able to go to the gym & take dance classes has highly frustrated me.

But instead of being an uber bitch like I have been all week I will remain positive & take each day at a time.  Try new things.  I’ve been walking in Central Park for some kind of walking exercise & the time alone is kind of amazing.  I also went to the library today & checked out some instructional cds on learning Spanish.  It’s all apart of my new plans to do some new things.  I’ll keep you up to date on the progress.  I’ll also try to get those other blogs out asapenis.

Come join the party, yeah
Coz anybody just won’t do.
Let’s get this started, yeah
Coz everybody wants to party with you.

Happy Friday to you all!  For the past few days I have been in hibernation.  I woke up a couple days ago with my right ear all stopped up & my eyelid feeling a little swollen.  I thought oh no!  That could only mean one thing, Nickakah came & saw & was an absolute blast & now it has kicked my ass.  Earlier in the month I had felt a little bored about how to celebrate.  After being here so long, I felt like I had done everything there was to do in the city.  So this year I decided to go on location.  The location:  The Pines, Fire Island.  My friend Rob had a share that was gonna be open & I had thought about it for at least a month.  After the first ‘vacation’ at the beginning of the month I felt a do-over was highly in order.  This year would be slightly different because I wasn’t gonna be able to celebrate fully with my normal cast of characters.  But after hearing about how people are over bdays & such I took that as a sign that it would be ok.  Clearly, I’m not over bdays.  I look at it as a blessing to still be going so why not celebrate it?  Right?  Right.  

Boy you got a reputation, but you’re gonna have to prove it
I see a little hesitation,
Am I gonna have to show you that if it feels right, get on your marks
Step to the beat boy that’s what it’s for

The night before my bday the party began at work.  I was surprised by a very delicious red velvet cake that was for my co-worker Marcus & I.  His bday had been a few days before.  Later, towards the end of work we all started sippin on some drinks.  Well after a few hrs later I was definitely feeling a buzz going on & then remembered I had to get home bc I had people coming over.  Without having dinner I met up with my peeps & the party continued.  This was my problem.  We all made it to Splash & danced & had a good time.  Nicole took some pics & Vadim danced around in his Basic Trash ensemble.  Old friends & new ones were there & I had a ball.  Then I dropped the ball so to speak.  Black out city occurred & the next day I woke up with a terrible hangover.  How can this happen on my actual bday?!  Oh no!  I was suppose to meet Rob & everyone at the train to head out to the island.  Clearly, this wasn’t happening.  Finally, after a few hrs & popping a lot of advil, chugging some water, packing my bags… I made the last off peak train out to Long Island. Shortly before I made it to the train the skies looked like it would begin to rain. After taking the train, taking a van & then taking a ferry (that’s right kids this can be a trek) it started to rain.  I thought well I’ll be damned!  Here we go with Wilmington happening all over again.  By the time I made it to the house I was completely soaked.  Being the good friend that he is, Rob made me a drink asapenis.   Shortly after, the rest of the roommates arrived.  Then it was time to make tea.  Now for those not in the know, that doesn’t mean make some tea & sit around & gossip.  In the Pines there is a thing called Low Tea, Middle Tea & Hi Tea.  Basically it means you go to the clubs that the deejays are spinning during certain times.  It still confuses the shit out of me but whatevs.  We did that for a little while & then found ourselves back at home to eat a little & then a few of us decided to hit up the underwear party that my friend Danny was deejaying.  Picture it, a room full of guys dancing around in their underwear.  Absolutely wonderful I say.  One of the roommates Dave C, was telling any one that was cute about the pool party that was gonna be taking place the next day.  And what a hot pool party it was.  I met tons of new people & of course I kept telling everyone it was my bday weekend.  There are a ton of pics from it & I’ve already heard from people about how everyone was in such skimpy clothes.  In my defense, some twink came in with my ensemble so not to be outdone I changed into a skimpier number.  (Shuley, I know how you say no guy looks good in a speedo but I gotta say here in NYC there are TONS of men who look good in them)  What also must be said is that when you’re around all of this it is sooooo easy to get caught in the sexy times.  There were shower room hook ups with twinks, semi porn photo shoots going on in bedrooms….. which I was not a part of (I know some of you are shocked right now).  As always I will not mention names to protect the uh… not so innocent.  I will just keep it in my body of evidence.  Later, a few of us went to this other party that was taking place nearby.  It was a big house, with a lot of people.  More sexy people in hardly anything.  BUT, what they had apparently run out of was alcohol.  Of course my friends & I were like WTF?!  So just as quick as we made an entrance we quickly left to go back to ours where there was plenty of vodka flowing.  

That’s the thing with Fire Island.  When you go you HAVE to have your A game on.  Since there was no tv, no computer, and no ones cell phone service properly working…. you find that it’s like a Real World house. Only all gay, all the time.  So of course there will be hook ups & there will be scandal.  By the end of the weekend I did get my share of hook ups but I will not mention names.  Remember, I’m trying to protect the uh not so innocent.  What I will say is it felt like I got to be the Heather Locklear of Melrose Place & I loved it.  On Sunday we started drinking at like 11:30 am & that just kept going on until the wee hours of the morning.  Somehow, through out the whole experience I did not once get a hangover or have a blackout.  Which I couldn’t understand considering I drank WAY more than I ever do.  I guess the lesson is make sure to have your meals, & drink water with every few drinks.  A few others didn’t have it so lucky.  Poor Jude got sick & Fernando was out for HOURS.  But before all that we did manage to have a lil dance party in the rain which found me teaching a combination to a variation of songs.  We joked saying that Rob was like Mary Anne from True Blood, like when she gets all crazy & dances around & then everyone starts humping like crazy & their eyes go black.  We found it utterly hilarious.  Just as hilarious as when we got in late one night & the twinks staying over asked us to be quiet.  Which was absolutely hilarious because any one that knows Rob or Dave KNOWS that will just make them more obnoxious!!!  Ahhhh, good times.  

By Monday it seemed so many people had left & there was only a few of us that remained.  What was wonderful was that it was finally gonna be an actual beach day.  So for the most part we spent it getting our tan on.  And oh yes, our drink on as well.  We ended up meeting a guy on the beach who invited us back to his beach front house to hang out at his pool & hot tub.  We couldn’t turn this down because literally the night before I had met a guy & introduced him to Dave C saying, “This is Marlon, he has a big dick & a jacuzzi.”  We had been wanting a jacuzzi all weekend.  So Monday night found us rocking the hot tub & me doing a concert of Mariah songs acapella.  Where my voice came from I have NO idea but, I remember it actually not sucking.  Hmmm, perhaps I was drunk & it was actually atrocious.  Nope, let’s stick with it actually not sucking.  Tuesday was another great beach day & I found myself not being able to leave.  Hours were spent at the beach & by this point I had got a massive tan.  Not many people were on the beach but there were still a few there.  It’s funny to see how dead the island gets during the week. By this point it was just Brad & I & once 8pm came I found myself having to saying goodbye on the ferry.  I was wishing it didn’t have to end & I definitely was not looking forward to going to work.  But Nickakah was officially over.  By this point by phone was blowing up with all the messages & texts from people saying happy bday.  There were a few people I was a lil bummed out that decided to overlook me but like I said it IS what it IS.  I stay highly thankful for all my peeps who do love me & showed me a good time.  Major shout out to Rob & the boys of this years Nickakah.  It’s like we did the Saved By the Bell season at the beach.  Same cast but thrown in with some new fresh faces.  It’s good to do every now & then.  I had an absolute blast & now after hibernating for a few days I definitely feel ready to celebrate something now.  Besides, it’s someone’s bday somewhere right?  Happy bday Katie, even though your far away I want to hear about tons of bday fun.  I just may have a drink or 2 for u!

I Said You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
You Got To Be Startin’ Somethin’
I Said You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
You Got To Be Startin’ Somethin’
It’s Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You’re Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)

When I last left off I was about to discuss my trip to North Carolina.  It’s a good thing I’ve waited until now to post about it.  At least some of the acid saltiness I feel for it has washed off & for the most part I’m thankful for the good times I had while there.  Not completely because you know I can hold a grudge like no ones business. If you ask if I’m heading back down there any time soon, my magic 8 ball says ‘Hell to the no!’

Whenever there is option for good or bad news first I always opt for the bad news first.  It’s like go ahead & hit me with it so I can deal with it.  With that being said, I arrived there on the 1st of the month & my mother & younger sister picked me up at the airport.  I haven’t seen them since Nov. 2007  when they came up for Thanksgiving.  I was still dealing with the after effects of the brian tumor.  A lot of things were different then.  For me that is.  My mom on the other hand is still just as bi-polar as ever.  It may actually have gotten worse.  Now this is not an actual diagnose unless you would like to call me Dr. Padron.  Ever since I was a kid I can always remember not knowing how she would react to anything said.  There are times you can say a joke & she would laugh her ass off to it but then there are times that you say the same thing & she will fly off the handle like a bat out of hell.  All day long, she was semi fine.  I thought she would get excited for this cd of music I put together for her.  It was music that I knew she didn’t have & it was a bunch of songs that are hard to find now.  Being the music man that I am, I found them online & spent a good part of my work day doing this for her.  This excited her & she sang along for the rest of the car trip.  Yay!  Nick is a good son.  Although for the next few hrs I kept hearing about how the dog is the only thing that loves her.  It loves her more than her own kids.  Ummmm, thanks.  Before I had come I had been trying to figure out where I would stay because I do not stay with her whenever I go down.  It’s a lot of reasons but mainly there is no room in the house & I don’t feel comfortable there anyway.  Many years ago I would stay at my grandparents.  Since my grandmother died & my grandfather is now on his second wife since she died I don’t really care to stay there as well.  Either way, I always prefer to stay with friends.  But, I mainly try not to be an inconvenience to any one.  Is that often for most folks to feel that way?

All that being said my mom told me that I could stay with her male friend at his place.  Mind you, I haven’t properly met this guy so I thought it was odd.  Apparently he’s head over heels for my mom & when I had the chance to meet him I thought he was a really nice guy.  Too bad my mom is basically using him for her own convenience.  He would go to speak & she would interrupt him.  In my head I thought ‘Nice guy, but poor schmuck.’  Our next plan was to meet up with my sister & her boyfriend & we would go out for her bday dinner.  My mom had also said that the next day we would all go to Carowinds.  I hadn’t been there since the 90’s & was actually really looking forward to it.  For those that don’t know, it’s like a 6 Flags.  My sister Andrea said that she wanted to go to this one restaurant & my mom was annoyed because she didn’t know it, it didn’t have a buffet.  She also wanted to be able to take the dog.  Ummm, how many places can you go that you can bring a fricking dog?  Then my other sister Anna made the point that it WAS Andrea’s bday so how about we go where she wanted to go.  Not saying, but seriously just saying.  As soon as we got there my mom seemed annoyed & not sure if she would like the food blah blah blah & that it would be too expensive.  She then asked who she would have to pay for as she looked at me & Andrea’s bf.  It seemed kind of funny to me because most parents pay for their whole children when they come to visit for a dinner.  Richard (Andrea’s bf) said he would pay for his & I said I could pay for mine.  Then she told me no, I’ll pay for you.  I still hear about how much money I cost since I was a kid so knowing that I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu.  A $6 blackened chicken salad.  It was ok, a lil spicy but I like spicy.  When the bill came once again my mom made a comment about how she only had $50 on her so she hoped it wasn’t more than that.  I did the math in my head of how much everyone (excluding Richard’s) would be & it added up to maybe $35.  Still she acted annoyed.  So trying to joke & make light of it I said, “Hey maybe I can go throw up the salad & we can take it off the menu.”  Now if I said this to any of my friends or any one else I know this could be funny.  Vadim would have said something like, “Why are you eating anyway, it’s not Tuesday.”  Jaime would say, “Bitch, you don’t eat anyway.”  Comments all in good fun.  Not for my mom & not on this day.  She waited until we were outside in the parking lot to thoroughly throw a fit about how it wasn’t funny & that I was an awful son.  That I don’t take time come down.  Ummm hello, I’m here right now!  I took the time off of work just to come down.  I had been trying to contact everyone for a month so I could coordinate plans.  No one would call me back.  She started going on about how I didn’t send a card for Mother’s Day & I didn’t call.  When in fact I had tried to call but being that she didn’t want to receive text messages she gave up her voicemail.  So on that day when I had called I couldn’t reach her all day.  Still going off she told me to get in the car & I said you’re crazy angry right now & I’m not getting in the car with a crazy person.  She looked at my sister & said he should have just died when he had the tumor.  And with that I checked out of the argument.  I looked at Andrea & told her to take me anywhere but there & we would try to pick up my bag from that guys house & I would figure out somewhere to stay.  I had not even been in NC for 24 hrs.  I may never look at a blackened chicken salad the same.  

The next few days were good.  I hung out with my sister & her bf.  He’s a really nice guy & I’m glad that she has someone that loves her so much.  I also got to hang with my friend Lisa, from high school.  Her parents had this bbq right before the fourth of July & we all had a good time.  I got to see her with a buzz which I had never seen before.  I also reconnected with some girls from high school that I literally hadn’t seen in a decade.  I found myself at one point at a softball game which was kind of funny.  I don’t do anything with balls unless they come in a set & when one came flying at me I politely moved to the left.  All the lesbians looked at me & laughed.  I also was like what is in the water here & where did all the lesbians come from & where are the gays?  I was out of my comfort zone but to be honest they were straight up cool.  No pun intended about the straight part ladies.  I got to hang out with another really good friend of mine since 7th grade.  It’s always nice to know that even though life changes & takes you to new places & new lives, you can still meet up & chat like no time has passed.  

After some happy goodbyes, I left to meet Shuley & we were on our way to Wilmington.  As soon as we got there we barely took time to drop off bags because we were gonna head to a pool party at my friend Blair’s.  We had an awesome time & it was a wonderful way to be welcomed back to Wilmington.  I also enjoyed that I was the youngest gay there, that hasn’t happened in a long ass time.  And ohhhh how I do enjoy the southern gays.  Maybe I’ve become a tad bit jaded about certain things & I need to sprinkle it with some of my former southern charm.  This was to be the last time I saw a lil bit of sun because the rest of my time there the sun said goodbye to Wilmington.  That sucked because after having like 22 days of rain in June the weather was fabulous for the 4th.  This is when my jaded self says, “Of course I would bring the rain with me.”  But, it was still good to see all of my Wilmington boys & hang out with them.  I’m always reminded of that when you can’t have a family per se you can make your own family with your friends.  For everyone who made the time for me I can’t say thanks enough.  I brought a little bit of NY scandal out & about on that Saturday night there.  I thought it was funny because to me I was being calm.  Seriously.  Hee hee.  I told everyone that they could come visit me any time.  Mainly because I don’t see myself going down there any time in the distant future.  

So that’s it in a nutshell & regarding the whole mom issue all I can say is it is what it is.  In all honesty I did not go down there to deal with razor sharp things said to me.  I’m not a child anymore & that kind of thing doesn’t fly with me.  I had just wanted to celebrate my sister turning 21.  I remember mine.  I was just starting to come out & felt like there was so much more in life I needed to discover & learn.  I just wanted to be there for hers.  Needless to say there was no trip to Carowinds.  Maybe this semi-jaded New Yorker will not say no completely.  Maybe someday, but NOT any time soon.  This Friday is yet another b-day.  I swear they come way too fast for my liking.  This year I’m taking Nickakah to Fire Island.  I feel like I’ve done everything there is to be done in NY so I need something fresh.  I had a warm up this past weekend.  It was an awesome time & I’m completely tan.  I can’t wait for the weekend.  My bdays are always fun & good times & I can’t wait to share the stories with you.  Until then……..

Help Me Sing It, Ma Ma Se,
Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa
Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa

When the world is on your shoulder
Gotta straighten up your act and boogie down
If you cant hang with the feeling
Then there aint no room for you this part of town
cause we’re the party people night and day
Livin crazy thats the only way

Hello folks, I’m highly late for this blog but I have been busy traveling.  But what I wanted to blog about was the last week of June…. Pride week here in NYC.  We officially kicked it off by going to the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall at Stonewall in the Village.  Some of my boys had never even been there.  (It’s historical because that’s where a butch lesbian, a drag queen & some gays decided to rise up against the police who kept trying to shut their party down.  I say it with a hint of fun but in all honesty if it wasn’t for them getting the ball rolling we wouldn’t be where we are today.  So kudos to the older generation, let’s keep on keeping on!  Now back to the deets.)  Vodka was flowing & I was having good convo’s with old & new friends.  Ok so maybe I should be honest & add I saw some old lovers & some new ones hee hee.  Anyway, it was a good time when all of a sudden the vodka ran out.  It was like we were being raided again because the gays cleared out quicker than you can say ‘Last Call’.  That’s when my crew & I decided to take it down the street to Pieces for a lil Tuesday Night Karaoke.  I was tagged left & right on Facebook by John during my performance of Poker Face.  I even had some backup dancing by my girl Vicky.  At one point the drag queen decided she would join in & then she decided it would be a good idea to try to pull up Vicky’s skirt.  Vicky wasn’t having it & tried to stop her & next thing you know a drag queen fell to the ground almost taking Vicky with her.  In true Beyonce fashion (during a TRL performance of Lose My Breath, Michelle fell while walking in with the other girls & without skipping a beat Beyonce kept walking) I just kept working it with my leg propped on a counter giving it to the fans.  The pics are hilarious & I like that the caption is Nicky Boom Box’s booty can take a drag queen down.  Even Vadim got in on the karaoke action, unwillingly mind you.  Ej had put his name on a ticket so he was surprised when his name was called.  Good thing he was drunk or he may have not gotten up to give us his amazing vocal skills on All I Want For Xmas is You.  His vocal stylings aren’t new to me at all.  There’s been plenty a voicemail left for me of him singing Pray by M.C. Hammer & any other ‘new’ song he may have just discovered.  Later, I did a very drunk rendition of Express Yourself & my shirt may have been taken off by someone…. but, luckily there were no pictures taken of that.  Besides, I still had plenty of Pride week to pose for such shenanigans.  

That Wednesday I ended up not making it to the gym at all because I was at work until 9 something.  WHAT?!  No, no don’t worry babies.  I had officially stopped working around 4ish because our agency was having a lil drink fest going on.  Tasia, Marcus, Anabel (mi amor) & were drinking & talking about tons of people in our own little private room.  What was discussed?  I shall not say.  Mainly because it’s been too long & I can’t remember & partly because it’s hidden in my body of evidence.  On Thursday night I got together with my Jude to welcome in some of his friends visiting from Amsterdam.  Damn can those boys get down!  We hit up Vlada & danced our asses off at Splash.  They all could dance very well so I had to step up my game.  It was like the intro’s on So You Think You Can Dance!  Luckily I had off the next day because I ended up sleeping in until around noon.  I spent the good part of the afternoon doing my laundry.  I always say I’m not gonna wait until I have no clean manties or socks but this time I literally had nothing!  By evenings end I was ready for the Madonnnathon at Pyramid.  

Every year around Pride they have a Madonnathon where they play all her music for about 4 hrs.  Scott, Billy & I got there for the very beginning.  In true fashion Vadim showed up late even though he always harks on us about not being late.  I was wearing my ‘Music’ shirt which I ket getting compliments on & I saw other people dressed in their favorite Madonna garb.  It wasn’t as fun as previous events but the energy was still up & we got to dance to all of our favorite jams.  At 1 am it was over & it promptly went from a Madonnathon to a Michael Jacksonathon.  I hadn’t ever heard so much MJ ever.  It was good times & once again I found myself getting home really late.  

On Saturday I had planned to do certain things & in the end I only accomplished a few.  The pier & the gym were checked but the others were tossed to the wind when some impromptu party invites came up.  We were all on a roof top for someone’s bday & I was sipping on some tastey vodka flavored mojito’s.  All was going lovely until the skies decided to grey & the rain came down.  Scott screamed out, “God hates the gays!” as we all shuttered down to the apartment for shelter.  It proved to only last a few minutes & we went back on the roof.  After a few minutes we looked in the sky & saw this massive rainbow & I said, “Look!  God does love the gays.”  Quicker than you could sing Heartbreaker I was posing like Mimi on a chair sipping on vodka.  Think that’s the gayest thing ever?  Wait, because I’m not finished.  

After the party… Scott, Melissa & I ended up at Victor’s rooftop for his party as well.  Festiveness was flowing & at one point I was playing with a balloon singing 99 Red Balloons.  I don’t know German so I had to sing the english version.  Before I knew it, it was late & I was not gonna get a proper nap.  So I decided to let my balloon go in the air & get myself home to nap.  The plan was that I would nap & then meet everyone at Splash & then Chase would pick me up.  From there we would go to Roseland to hear Peter spin.  That WAS the plan.  I went home & somehow slept through an alarm & phone calls.  I blame it on the alcohol.  At 3 am I randomly woke up & was shocked I had missed all of it.  I quickly showered & got myself to Roseland.  It was funny to walk in all clean & see tons of already sweaty men getting their dance on.  It was probably the shortest time I had my shirt on since I took it off as soon as I walked in.  I found Chase, Stephanie & the rest of the crew & proceeded to go to Work!  The music was banging & I heard tons of classics & tons of new stuff.  By 9 am I decided I had danced enough & made my way home.  Not the classiest look walking home but at least I wasn’t doing the walk of shame & luckily I live only a few blocks away.  I managed to sleep maybe an hr or so but kept waking up worried that I may sleep through the parade.  Instead of risking it I eventually got up & showered & got ready to meet all the boys on 5th Ave. I had planned my outfit of a mesh tank & short shorts, dressed in blue.  I had gotten some looks from some folk but I wore it well.  By the time I got to 5th, I had a latina girl tell me that my chest was hot, a lip stick lesbian telling me she lived for anything see through & some twinks eyeing me up & down.  Now this is what Pride is all about.  Being proud of who you are & just doing you.  

The parade is one of the most festive parades there are here in the city, normally.  It was fun but we did notice how there seem to be less floats & not enough hot guys on the floats.  Vadim blamed it on the economy.  Where have all the good floats gone & where are all the hot guys?  I couldn’t be bothered with such questions because we ended up at another apartment party on 5th ave.  I found myself no longer tired once the liquor was flowing.  Nicole cracked me up because she’s not a drinker but she had decided to imbibe a lil for this special occasion.  Giggly & dancing around, that’s one of my favorite kinds of drunks!  We all stayed at the party for a lil while, long enough for me to get invited for a threesome with this couple I had just met.  Very cute but that’s too early to commit to some dick, in this case 2.  (I’m not opposed to another time though hee hee) We then made our way back to the parade & then decided to hit up yet another apartment party (That’s right, another one so keep up).  John continued to take plenty of pics which are plastered all over Facebook & everyone continued to have a good time.  Almost everyone.  There was one certain Mr. Grumpy Pants but his mood did elevate once some of his peeps came.  We continued to hang & make new friends & I met some incredibly hilarious people.  I definitely hope to see them again soon.  

Finally it was just down to Scott, Vadim & I.  We ended up going to Porky’s & when they told us there was a cover we were left annoyed.  We didn’t know how well it would be inside & we didn’t want to waste money on it if it sucked.  While we were debating, Scott had a friend come & get him inside.  Vadim & I saw a friend we knew with his friend.  They were leaving & suggested that we take their bracelets.  So we did & snuck past the bouncer.  I got in fine, no problem.  But, Vadim on the other hand was stopped by the girl in the front.  He began to make up some lie about how she had let him out without the stamp she was asking for.  Either she just didn’t care or was tired of his arguing, she let him in.  I went to go to the bar to get a drink & I saw 3 twinks in their manties dancing on top of the bar.  They had bottles in their hands & were serving out shots.  One got me to hold my neck back & open my mouth.  Normally, I wouldn’t do that but hey, they were twinks with liquor bottles.  They gave to other patrons but I started to notice they just kept asking me to come over.  Finally one told me that he recognized me from the parade.  Oh snap!  These were the twinks checking me out earlier.  I ended up spending no money which is a wonderful thing.  Vadim even took a page from Nick’s Lavatory Love Story book by disappearing with this random guy.  Scott informed me that we should leave since I wasn’t gonna hook up with the twinks & we couldn’t find Vadim.  I found it odd being that he had left his bag with me.  Vadim would never do such a thing.  But, 10 minutes later he had me convinced since we still couldn’t find him.  So off we go to Posh with me holding onto his bag not realizing that we in had in fact left Vadim inside alone.   Posh was ok & it was getting late.  I had also made a new friend so I decided I would leave Scott to his own defenses.  Turns out I shouldn’t have done this because some homophobe decided to try to fuck with Scott once he was alone eating pizza.  Luckily, some guys came to Scott’s defense & all was well.  But, had they not I fear that I would have had to deal with another gay bashing story & this time it would be hitting close to home since it was my friend.  Why this seems to occur every year I’m not sure.  I’ve never had that problem but seriously I was running around in next to nothing.  Why homophobia has to rear it’s ugly head I do not get.  Why do I have to end this fabulous blog with a downer?  I’m not sure but I wanted to finish what I had started before I left for North Carolina.  Little did I know just how much of a downer that was gonna become………….

TO BE CONTINUED

My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I’m leaving out today

Throughout life we have defining moments.  Things that happen to us where we can instantly go back in time & remember what we were doing at that exact moment.  World events, graduating from school, first loves, first kisses….. I could go on & on.  It’s hard to believe that I’ve been here in NYC for 9 yrs.  So much has happened & so much growth.  I was chatting with a friend the other day about how so many people we know have been moving out of the city recently.  He said, “Do you think we’re New Yorkers for life?”  I said I guess so.  There’s not really anywhere else that I think I would move to right now.  I think about the friends that I have made while here.  Then I think about how so many of them have been leaving.  What is that phrase that people say?  That some people come into your life for a reason, a season, and then those that stay for life.  I’ve definitely experienced all of that.  Truthfully, no matter what, I am thankful for it.  

Soon, I will be making a return to my home state of NC.  It’s been since May 2007 so it is high time I made the trip back.   My sister Andrea turns 21 & it’s utterly hard to believe.  When I have dreams about my sisters they are always still really young.  It’s rather funny that in my dreams with them I am always 10 yrs younger as well.  (Somewhere one of my gays is saying out loud mmmhhhmm you wish bitch) It’s like in a way they will always be the little girls I left when I moved from NC to here.  It’s always a shock to the system when I see them & they’re all grown up.  I’m also looking forward to seeing some old NC friends that I haven’t seen in way too long.  Way back in the mid 90’s I was working at my first job.  It was at a store called Music Swap.  I had been going there for years & each week I would buy the new singles that had come out that week.  I would listen to Rick Dees & Casey Kasem’s Top 40 countdowns.  I always kept up with what was new & what was hot & what was the current #1 song.  A few weeks back I was riding around with Chase & he was listening to a 90’s station on satellite radio.  It just so happened to be an old airing of the Rick Dees show.  It was like I was transported back to be a kid & in my room listening to the show.  So many years later & I was still able to remember what the number one song in America was.  Crazy right?  It’s like I’m the Rain Man of American Top 40.  

While working at Music Swap I met someone who would later become a lifetime friend.  All because she needed to order a Pet Shop Boys tape.  As it turns out she used to babysit for my best friend’s sister.  She ended up becoming one of my best friends.  We would go through arguments, through laughs, through many car problems, through moves to different cities to even her being there when I came out.  If someone had told me then as a young teen working at Music Swap that she would become someone that I could always count on & someone that I would still be calling every week to gab with I probably would have shrugged it off & been like ok sure.  But, through all these years I’m utterly glad that even though I’ve been here in NY I can always count on her to be there when I need her.  She’ll be the one who I’ll yell ‘Shuley, I’m a Celebrity get me out of here!’ as we take the 4 hr trip from Elkin to Wilmington in a few weeks.  Now, let’s just hope there are NO car troubles & that the sun shines while we get our tan on at the beach.  She’s in dire need of some scandal & shenanigans so I’m figuring that I need to bring my NY A game. NC, I hope you’re ready.

Recently, someone that has been in my life off & on for almost 8 yrs moved out of the city for good.  We met at a Labor Day party at Webster Hall in 2001.  Literally a week before 9/11 went down.  I was dancing on top of a box & saw him & for a while I wasn’t sure if he was even gay since he danced like a straight guy.  So I sent my friend Krizia over to check for me.  Needless to say he played for my team & played for my team he did.  At 23 I was utterly in love & to quote Aretha ‘I never loved a man the way I loved you.’  Hell, the lyrics to the song I felt I lived through for years & years.  In so many ways he was the Big to my Carrie.  Never able to fully commit to a relationship, kept my heart on a string off & on throughout the years & then when he was ready to settle down I was not the one he chose.  It was like I had put in all the effort & someone else got the benefits.  So for years we would go in between being friends to not speaking to being friends again.  Mind you fitting 8 yrs of history in this one paragraph can not be done.  But looking back I am glad it happened.  At 23 I never thought I would love someone like that.  I had had relationships with girls & a few guys but I had not fully put someone else’s needs before my own.  If it had not been for Tim I wouldn’t have seen that I do have that in me.  He came into my life for a reason & even though he is now gone & out of the country I will still hold him dear to my heart.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll take this show to location Switzerland for a special visit.  Sweeps week maybe.  I’ll wait till I hear from him & hear how the scene is out there.  I always remembered the fact that we here at the same time & it’s funny because now that he’s gone I realize that out of all my friends I’m one of them that has been here the longest.  

Being that I have been here so long I have had many, many chances to meet people who are only here for a short time.  Many have impacted my life but most recently I think about a friend that came in out of nowhere & then just like that she was gone.  It was a night in early December & I had off that Monday.  It’s so rare that I go out on Sunday’s since I have to be up so early.  I had went out with Chase & some other friends & he had said that a new friend of his was suppose to meet us.  He told me a little about her but I didn’t know what she looked like.  That night we had had drama with trying to get into this venue & with so much waiting I had gotten bored & was like I should have just stayed home & watched tv.  We ended up at Park & was sitting around.  I told Chase that I was probably gonna leave when I was done with my drink.  I looked up & saw a girl walking around looking a little lost.  I thought to myself hmmm I wonder if this is Chase’s friend.  She ended up walking right by us & for a second I thought that maybe I should get up & ask her her name.  Being that I was semi-bitchy I decided against it.  A few minutes passed & I finished my drink so I was gonna say my goodbyes.  Then this girl walked back up to us & hugged Chase.  Turns out it was Katie & I shouldn’t have been a bitch & stopped her.  We chatted for a little bit & she’s like I need to do a shot. I perked up & thought oh my, my kind of girl.  She ended up buying me a shot as well & before I knew it I was engrossed in conversation with her.  The night had all of a sudden gotten so much better.  Just like that we had become fast friends & just like that she found herself to be apart of our group.  Over the next few months we experienced a lot of things.  Drunken talks about anything & everything while watching award shows, hospital visits, New Years eve, clubbing until all hours….. wow, now that I type it out I could go on & on for days.  But my favorite was our trip to Jersey to see the one & only Britney Spears.  She had gotten tickets & in our absolute surprise the seats were UH MAY ZING.  We were literally right next to the stage & I had an absolute blast.  We were rocking out in our Britney tees (me in a tank obvi) & dancing up a storm.  A few weeks after the concert there was a very unfortunate fire at her house.  She was ok but all her stuff was gone.  We took it as a sign that maybe it was time for her to leave NY.  Then just as quick as she came in she rolled out.  She was literally here for a season & even though it was a short time I had a wonderful time with her.  She’s now in Seattle where she has met new gays & she’s happy with the life she is creating there.  She’s even apparently met another cute gay Nick.  It makes me giggle & I know she’ll not be surprised to hear me say that it must be nice but no one can do it like me!  Katie when you hear If U Seek Amy you better not substitute the new Nick for the old one.  I have that ish copyrighted.  

It’s the defining moments like these that makes me think about how some people are here in NY for a quick season.  Some people are here to accomplish something & then move on and then some are here for a lifetime.  It makes me wonder what the future holds in store for me & will I still be here 9 years from now.  No one knows I guess but I’ll just keep doing me & let life lead me where I need to go.

Remember when I said I was gonna blog more during the month of May?Oops!!!  I did it again & lied.  Here it is almost the last day of the month & I’m just now getting to it.   There was a lot going on this month & let’s see if I can remember it all.  At the beginning of the month I went to go see Lady GaGa at Terminal 5 with Tasia, Kinnon, Tasha & Xtina.  This was my 2nd time seeing her & man oh man GaGa has definitely gained some fans since I last met her & saw her perform in October.  Girls, Gays, Girls!  Could be the title of the night.  I was pushed & shoved so much it was insane.  My group & I were literally hating people at the beginning of the night.  These 2 tall guys that were on my left were basically f*cking & being too drunk & obnoxious for their own good.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to cause a scene but for real this was ridiculous.  Even their friends were telling them to stop.  Behind me was a boy/girl/tranny hootinanny who was all up on my jock (I think bc we were all crammed).  On my right was a little blonde girl who kept saying she couldn’t see anything.  In a nutshell it was nanners.  Finally GaGa came out & thrilled us all.  Love Game had Tasia & I in a tizzy since we love us some love games.  The acoustic performance of Poker Face was flawless.  The shout out for the gays on Boys Boys Boys was awesome.  New songs about vibrator’s was just as interesting as her sitting at a piano dressed in bubbles.  No shit, bitch was in bubbles.  I LIVED for it.  She’s becoming a better performer more & more.  I just saw her video to Paparazzi & it seriously brings video to the art form that music video’s were back in the day.  I haven’t seen a video I have really liked in quite some time.  All in all we had a great time & I left there smelling like vodka.  Not because I was drunk but because I kept getting so many drinks spilled on me.  We then went back to my place & I deejayed for us & poured drinks & we had an awesome time. Tasia debuted the Tasia shuffle & I’ve been doing it since.  

On Mother’s Day I went to B.B. King’s with Scott & his friend Esmerelda to see En Vogue.  They got back together to do a lil reunion tour, all original members.  This show was very different in the sense that no one shoved & pushed.  We were all still close to each other but it was not insane.  There were still tons of gays with one screaming behind me every 5 minutes at Dawn telling her to Work!  This other girl with a side pony tail decided to cut in front of me so she could tape them on her camera.  I decided not to cut her on the good side of the face basically because bitch didn’t have a good side.  J/k but not really.  The show was awesome & each member tore it up.  They were a different kind of girl group in the sense that every single member had lead vocals on many of the hit songs they had.  Cindy looked amazing for having popped out 4 kiddies.  Scott & I were beyond excited when she took our hands at the end of the show.  Ok, so it’s more like we ran up to take her hands but whatevs.  Dawn’s tig ole bitties were much larger than I remembered.  Maxine’s vocals were as strong as they were back in the day.  Lastly, Terri gave so much runway face & slick moves the gays were eating her up.  They ended their show with Free Your Mind which had the crowd roaring.  All in all they gave us something we could feel & they should know that our lovin’…. well they’re always gonna get it.  That memory I will Hold On to for sure.  

This month has continued to hit me musically because Kylie announced she was coming to the states FINALLY so you know I had to get a ticket for that.  Pink is also bringing her sass here as well.  Both of these shows go down in October so I will be looking forward to both of those shows.   

This month also brought all the season finale to ALL my shows I watch.  Desperate Housewives finally brought a conclusion to the crazy guy & I’m thinking that Susan will finally be back with Mike.  Linette needs to seriously stop having children.  Her bad ass kids have always drove me nanners.  I thought Brothers & Sisters was a lil ho hum.  Still good but somehow I was expecting more.  Gossip Girl was ok but got really good in the last few minutes.  I’m also a sucker for Dancing With The Stars which I also call Dancing with the Z-Listers or old bitches.  I had always wanted Lil’ Kim to be in the finals. Just like a ball of yarn to a kitty it was somehow yanked away from her.  I never watched the Bachelor but I have to say I thought Melissa was really good.  I liked Shawn & Giles equally & thought they all were deserving of the win.  Big ups to Shawn for being the youngest winner ever.  

90210 is a major guilty pleasure & after seeing this last episode I think I will have to stop watching next season.  Now watch them bring back Luke Perry or some mess just so I will have to watch.  I Love Money 2 is another guilty pleasure.  Frenchie cracks my shit up & when they have to have captions for what she says printed out the way it sounds always makes me giggle.  Still watching the Real World/Road Rules challenge & big ups to Mark showing the kids how to keep up.  South Park still makes me LOL 12 years strong.  I also read that the shows that they made just for me Samantha Who, Eli Stone & Dirty Sexy Money were canceled.  Oh well, I enjoyed it while it lasted.  30 Rock continues to get better & better with each episode.  SNL seems to have good weeks equally with bad weeks.  I guess it just depends on the host & the writers running out of ideas.  Anything with Kristen Wiig is hilarious.  Ugly Betty is still awesome (to me) but now that it’s being moved to Friday’s I guess that means I need to start saying goodbye to it as well.  I have always been most like Amanda’s character.  That last episode was really sad & I felt bad for Betty & Daniel.  

Speaking of feeling bad, Grey’s Anatomy had me more torn up then I thought it would.  I was not expecting that outcome AT ALL.  Call me a wuss but when any show deals with a tumor I become a wreck.  Maybe because it hits too close to home but damn, when it was over I sat there for a good 5 minutes just upset.  I had to tell myself it was just a frickin tv show & that’s all.  Damn, I can be a softie.  On The Tudor’s it seems no one is a softie.  Heads rolling left & right.  This season kind of sucked to me.  The first two were awesome & I hear the next season is the last.  It’s gotta be true because they are gonna run out of wives really soon.  

As for all the American Idol mess….. well what can I say?  I think I jinxed Adam when I posted a facebook status saying if we can get a black man to the White House then maybe we can get a gay to be the next American Idol.  Oh well, promises, promises.  I really do like Adam & I’m sure he’ll do fine.  Now it seems everyone is putting him on blast about not coming out.  I feel a lil torn about this.  I understand why everyone wants him to be a role model & come out.  I also understand why he hasn’t totally.  But seriously people, I (like so many others) have seen the pics online.  Bitch is gay, now call it a muthaf*ckin’ day & leave it alone.  (Quick Note:  Absolutely loved the first episode of Glee & I can’t wait for the fall for the rest of the episodes)

I think I have covered all my tv show addictions.  So You Think You Can Dance & Weeds will be what I’ll be watching in the meantime. For those of you reading & thinking why didn’t he tell a fabulous story or something?  Don’t worry babies.  Just like famous politicians I’ll get around to it.  Wink wink

I have also been listening to a LOT of upcoming & new artists.  There are a ton of songs that will be vying for the title of Summer Jam.  So let me hit you with 15 songs that I’ve been cranking the month of May.   

1.  I Know You Want Me/Pitbull

2.  Patron Tequila/Paradiso Girls feat. Lil’ Wayne & Eve

3.  Fire Burning/Sean Kingston

4.  Good Girls Go Bad/Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl)

5.  Heartbreak (Make Me A Dancer)/Freemason’s feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor

6.  Evacuate The Dancefloor/Cascada

7.  Waking Up In Vegas/Katy Perry

8.  Imma Be/Black Eyed Peas

9.  Don’t Trust Me/3 Oh3!

10.  Work/Saturdays

11.  Don’t Stop Believin’/Glee Cast

12.  Epiphany/Chrisette Michele

13.  You Belong With Me/Taylor Swift

14.  Hush, Hush/Pussycat Dolls

15.  Love Struck/V Factory

I’ve been gone for a minute but now I’m back with the jump off.  I’m so 3008 but my blogs have been so 2000 & late!  So, so, so much to discuss but at this point it’s like my first time so we’re gonna have to take it gently.  I had meant to discuss a lot of things in March & then found myself not having the time.  Then something happened that I was definitely NOT prepared for.  Right at the end of March I found out I was gonna have to serve on a grand jury.  What is a grand jury you ask?  Well let me tell you because I certainly had no idea what it was.  I thought it was just like any other jury & that I’d get off after a few days or a week even.  I had served back in August of 2003 during the blackout & that lasted all of 5 days.  Quick & over.  Imagine my surprise when they said that we would all be there for 4 weeks.  I would still be able to go to work during the day but then I would have to report to jury duty form 2-5 pm.  Work had a shit fit but there was nothing that could be done.  I was told it was my civic duty.  You know who else’s civic duty it is?  All my frickin friends who have lived here as well & have NEVER been called.  I’ve been here in NYC for 9 yrs & this is my 2nd time.  By the end of my term I was trying to do a refer a friend program.  The gym gives you $50 credit if you refer a friend.  Too bad the government doesn’t because I could be loaded by all the friends of mine who have never had to do this shizz!  Many people would ask what kind of case I was on but that’s the thing….. being a grand juror means you hear different cases every single day.  Your job is to decide if the case has enough evidence to go to trial.  Mostly the cases were boring & I found myself drifting off to sleep all the time.  In my defense, I have a short attention span & sitting for long periods of time listening to mono-tone voices will surely put anyone to sleep.  There were a few cases that were actually good & I couldn’t believe some of the stuff people were doing.  Guilty, guilty, ghetto bitches does come to mind when thinking of some people.  One defendant came in to plead his case & if anything he made it worse just by opening his mouth.  He had been accused of holding up 3 teens & robbing them at gun point.  Later he was arrested & been picked out in the line up by the teens.  He still claimed his innocence.  His testimony went something like this:

Yo I don’t know why I’m here.  It’s whatever, I didn’t do it.  I was up in Brooklyn with my girl all weekend fo realz.  Yo I didn’t leave all weekend.  It’s whatever whatever.  

The assistant district attorney then brought up how the defendants mother lived near the incident & showed further evidence that he was in the area visiting his mother.  Dude makes an incriminating face & continues to go on a rant where he ends each sentence with it’s whatever.  I kid you not, he said whatever 132 times.  I started counting because I was so incredibly bored of his crazy, guilty ass that could’t speak proper english.   What I found interesting was certain members of the jury who didn’t want to vote yes for a trial because they didn’t think there was enough evidence.  Half the time it was like, “Biiiiittttchhh, please!  Are you not hearing the same things I’m hearing?”  Many cases seem to be about people selling crack or coke or heroin.  One day I joked to the room that today’s cases were brought to us by the letter C & the color white.  Now can you tell me how to get…. how to get off the crack street?

All jokes aside there were a few cases that were a lil rough to sit through just because it was definitely no fun & games.  More like fun & drunken games gone terribly wrong.  It reminded me why I don’t like to watch cop shows or Law & Order or any show like that.  I’ll take my Dancing with old bitches, gossip whores, NBC comedies, ABC dramas & VH1 reality crap shows where people love money any day of the week. They’re wonderful ways to take your mind off of the REAL real world drama.  (Like this swine flu shizz.  Good grief I didn’t even know about it this time last week & now it’s all over the news!)  So last Friday was wonderful knowing that my term had come to an end & my life could get back to somewhat normal.  

Well as normal as one can be when you hang with my crew.  January, February & March have always been months where I knew I was gonna be b’day’d to death.  But, my oh my…. let me find out I need to add April to that list.  Even since I last blogged in February I’ve been a part of countless b’days.  Weekend after weekend there’s been cake, drinks, cupcakes, drinks, chips, drinks, dips, drinks & oh did I say drinks?  Each b’day party had some memorable moments for sure.  Chase’s always involves some hot places to get your dance on.  Vadim is like a sure thing.  Drunken good times with your besties at Pyramid & Splash.  Although as I sit here trying to remember certain moments, I can’t think of any.  I’ll just blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah alcohol.  For Benjamin’s we showed up to one bar & then had our own lil mini pride walk to the next club while taking over the streets of downtown.  Quite fabulous & it gave me ideas for my own b’day in a few months.  Hanging out with Shawn D is always a wonderful time & I wish we could do it more often.  At his I found myself posing with twinks, hotties & drag queens.  Oh MY!   Recently, at my boo Tasia’s I found myself traveling to Brooklyn for the evening.  I had supplied the music which was of course uh-may-zing!  I even found myself stuck chatting with her semi quasi bf.  He was ok until he kept wanting to play maudlin, boring music from the university station.  I was like eh!  What is it about college & cry baby music? (Mad props to the readers if you know that quote) But seriously, I can be mean about him now since he became a total douche & decided to break up with my boo over a text!  Who the hell does that?  Grow a pair & get over yourself.  I even got to see my beautiful blonde counterpart from NC for a hot NY minute while she visited on her b’day.  Adrienne, how I miss you already & I promise I’m gonna get down to NC soon.  For Matt B’s last week he had a lovely raffle for all his guests who could win adorable little prizes.  Poor Scott couldn’t even win one of those.  Don’t feel bad though Scott, the last lotto I was in I won but it was to be a fricking juror for 4 months.  Matt also had baked these tasty, tasty cupcakes for everyone & I know I had at least 3.  Which is not something I normally do in front of people but in my defense I was HONGRY!  It was sooo good I found myself leaving with 3 that were left in a tinfoil tray.  Please picture this as I was parading up 9th avenue in the rain with cupcakes.  As a guy walked by me looking up & down he goes, “Oooo nice cupcakes.”  Which made me giggle.  Without skipping a beat, I smiled & turned in a circle as if I was working the runway & then went about my way.  Giving it to the fans never seems to have a day off but I had to make it home in time for American Idol.  Which has been pretty good I have to say.  If America can vote for a black president then surely we can have a gay American Idol.  Raise up queen!  You got this!!! 

Since I didn’t hit you up with a blog in March I wasn’t able to do a top 10 list so now I’m gonna hit up with an extended one for April.  Some of it I can’t believe I like but somehow it penetrated my ears & got me jamming.  Enjoy & I promise to blog so much more soon!

1.  Love & Sex & Magic/Ciara & Justin Timberlake

2.  Halo/Beyonce

3.  Jai Ho/The Pussycat Dolls

4.  Boom Boom Pow/Black Eyed Peas

5.  Right Round/Flo Rida feat. Keshia

6.  Ride My Tempo/Ida Corr

7.  Poker Face(acoustic version)/Lady GaGa

8.  Blame It/Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain

9.  Day N’ Nite/Kid Cudi

10.  I Do Not Hook Up/Kelly Clarkson

11.  The Climb/Miley Cyrus

12.  Knock You Down/Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo

13.  Now I’m That Bitch/Livvi Franc

14.  Love Takes Over/David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland

15.  Give It To Me Right/Melanie Fiona

16.  Not Fair/Lily Allen

17.  T.O.N.Y./Solange Knowles

18.  I’m Not Alone/Calvin Harris

19.  Change/Daniel Merriweather feat. Wale

20.  Takin’ Back My Love/Enrique Iglesias feat. Ciara