The Adventures of the NSP

My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I’m leaving out today

 

Throughout life we have defining moments.  Things that happen to us where we can instantly go back in time & remember what we were doing at that exact moment.  World events, graduating from school, first loves, first kisses….. I could go on & on.  It’s hard to believe that I’ve been here in NYC for 9 yrs.  So much has happened & so much growth.  I was chatting with a friend the other day about how so many people we know have been moving out of the city recently.  He said, “Do you think we’re New Yorkers for life?”  I said I guess so.  There’s not really anywhere else that I think I would move to right now.  I think about the friends that I have made while here.  Then I think about how so many of them have been leaving.  What is that phrase that people say?  That some people come into your life for a reason, a season, and then those that stay for life.  I’ve definitely experienced all of that.  Truthfully, no matter what, I am thankful for it.  

Soon, I will be making a return to my home state of NC.  It’s been since May 2007 so it is high time I made the trip back.   My sister Andrea turns 21 & it’s utterly hard to believe.  When I have dreams about my sisters they are always still really young.  It’s rather funny that in my dreams with them I am always 10 yrs younger as well.  (Somewhere one of my gays is saying out loud mmmhhhmm you wish bitch) It’s like in a way they will always be the little girls I left when I moved from NC to here.  It’s always a shock to the system when I see them & they’re all grown up.  I’m also looking forward to seeing some old NC friends that I haven’t seen in way too long.  Way back in the mid 90’s I was working at my first job.  It was at a store called Music Swap.  I had been going there for years & each week I would buy the new singles that had come out that week.  I would listen to Rick Dees & Casey Kasem’s Top 40 countdowns.  I always kept up with what was new & what was hot & what was the current #1 song.  A few weeks back I was riding around with Chase & he was listening to a 90’s station on satellite radio.  It just so happened to be an old airing of the Rick Dees show.  It was like I was transported back to be a kid & in my room listening to the show.  So many years later & I was still able to remember what the number one song in America was.  Crazy right?  It’s like I’m the Rain Man of American Top 40.  

While working at Music Swap I met someone who would later become a lifetime friend.  All because she needed to order a Pet Shop Boys tape.  As it turns out she used to babysit for my best friend’s sister.  She ended up becoming one of my best friends.  We would go through arguments, through laughs, through many car problems, through moves to different cities to even her being there when I came out.  If someone had told me then as a young teen working at Music Swap that she would become someone that I could always count on & someone that I would still be calling every week to gab with I probably would have shrugged it off & been like ok sure.  But, through all these years I’m utterly glad that even though I’ve been here in NY I can always count on her to be there when I need her.  She’ll be the one who I’ll yell ‘Shuley, I’m a Celebrity get me out of here!’ as we take the 4 hr trip from Elkin to Wilmington in a few weeks.  Now, let’s just hope there are NO car troubles & that the sun shines while we get our tan on at the beach.  She’s in dire need of some scandal & shenanigans so I’m figuring that I need to bring my NY A game. NC, I hope you’re ready.

Recently, someone that has been in my life off & on for almost 8 yrs moved out of the city for good.  We met at a Labor Day party at Webster Hall in 2001.  Literally a week before 9/11 went down.  I was dancing on top of a box & saw him & for a while I wasn’t sure if he was even gay since he danced like a straight guy.  So I sent my friend Krizia over to check for me.  Needless to say he played for my team & played for my team he did.  At 23 I was utterly in love & to quote Aretha ‘I never loved a man the way I loved you.’  Hell, the lyrics to the song I felt I lived through for years & years.  In so many ways he was the Big to my Carrie.  Never able to fully commit to a relationship, kept my heart on a string off & on throughout the years & then when he was ready to settle down I was not the one he chose.  It was like I had put in all the effort & someone else got the benefits.  So for years we would go in between being friends to not speaking to being friends again.  Mind you fitting 8 yrs of history in this one paragraph can not be done.  But looking back I am glad it happened.  At 23 I never thought I would love someone like that.  I had had relationships with girls & a few guys but I had not fully put someone else’s needs before my own.  If it had not been for Tim I wouldn’t have seen that I do have that in me.  He came into my life for a reason & even though he is now gone & out of the country I will still hold him dear to my heart.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll take this show to location Switzerland for a special visit.  Sweeps week maybe.  I’ll wait till I hear from him & hear how the scene is out there.  I always remembered the fact that we here at the same time & it’s funny because now that he’s gone I realize that out of all my friends I’m one of them that has been here the longest.  

Being that I have been here so long I have had many, many chances to meet people who are only here for a short time.  Many have impacted my life but most recently I think about a friend that came in out of nowhere & then just like that she was gone.  It was a night in early December & I had off that Monday.  It’s so rare that I go out on Sunday’s since I have to be up so early.  I had went out with Chase & some other friends & he had said that a new friend of his was suppose to meet us.  He told me a little about her but I didn’t know what she looked like.  That night we had had drama with trying to get into this venue & with so much waiting I had gotten bored & was like I should have just stayed home & watched tv.  We ended up at Park & was sitting around.  I told Chase that I was probably gonna leave when I was done with my drink.  I looked up & saw a girl walking around looking a little lost.  I thought to myself hmmm I wonder if this is Chase’s friend.  She ended up walking right by us & for a second I thought that maybe I should get up & ask her her name.  Being that I was semi-bitchy I decided against it.  A few minutes passed & I finished my drink so I was gonna say my goodbyes.  Then this girl walked back up to us & hugged Chase.  Turns out it was Katie & I shouldn’t have been a bitch & stopped her.  We chatted for a little bit & she’s like I need to do a shot. I perked up & thought oh my, my kind of girl.  She ended up buying me a shot as well & before I knew it I was engrossed in conversation with her.  The night had all of a sudden gotten so much better.  Just like that we had become fast friends & just like that she found herself to be apart of our group.  Over the next few months we experienced a lot of things.  Drunken talks about anything & everything while watching award shows, hospital visits, New Years eve, clubbing until all hours….. wow, now that I type it out I could go on & on for days.  But my favorite was our trip to Jersey to see the one & only Britney Spears.  She had gotten tickets & in our absolute surprise the seats were UH MAY ZING.  We were literally right next to the stage & I had an absolute blast.  We were rocking out in our Britney tees (me in a tank obvi) & dancing up a storm.  A few weeks after the concert there was a very unfortunate fire at her house.  She was ok but all her stuff was gone.  We took it as a sign that maybe it was time for her to leave NY.  Then just as quick as she came in she rolled out.  She was literally here for a season & even though it was a short time I had a wonderful time with her.  She’s now in Seattle where she has met new gays & she’s happy with the life she is creating there.  She’s even apparently met another cute gay Nick.  It makes me giggle & I know she’ll not be surprised to hear me say that it must be nice but no one can do it like me!  Katie when you hear If U Seek Amy you better not substitute the new Nick for the old one.  I have that ish copyrighted.  

It’s the defining moments like these that makes me think about how some people are here in NY for a quick season.  Some people are here to accomplish something & then move on and then some are here for a lifetime.  It makes me wonder what the future holds in store for me & will I still be here 9 years from now.  No one knows I guess but I’ll just keep doing me & let life lead me where I need to go.

Remember when I said I was gonna blog more during the month of May?Oops!!!  I did it again & lied.  Here it is almost the last day of the month & I’m just now getting to it.   There was a lot going on this month & let’s see if I can remember it all.  At the beginning of the month I went to go see Lady GaGa at Terminal 5 with Tasia, Kinnon, Tasha & Xtina.  This was my 2nd time seeing her & man oh man GaGa has definitely gained some fans since I last met her & saw her perform in October.  Girls, Gays, Girls!  Could be the title of the night.  I was pushed & shoved so much it was insane.  My group & I were literally hating people at the beginning of the night.  These 2 tall guys that were on my left were basically f*cking & being too drunk & obnoxious for their own good.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to cause a scene but for real this was ridiculous.  Even their friends were telling them to stop.  Behind me was a boy/girl/tranny hootinanny who was all up on my jock (I think bc we were all crammed).  On my right was a little blonde girl who kept saying she couldn’t see anything.  In a nutshell it was nanners.  Finally GaGa came out & thrilled us all.  Love Game had Tasia & I in a tizzy since we love us some love games.  The acoustic performance of Poker Face was flawless.  The shout out for the gays on Boys Boys Boys was awesome.  New songs about vibrator’s was just as interesting as her sitting at a piano dressed in bubbles.  No shit, bitch was in bubbles.  I LIVED for it.  She’s becoming a better performer more & more.  I just saw her video to Paparazzi & it seriously brings video to the art form that music video’s were back in the day.  I haven’t seen a video I have really liked in quite some time.  All in all we had a great time & I left there smelling like vodka.  Not because I was drunk but because I kept getting so many drinks spilled on me.  We then went back to my place & I deejayed for us & poured drinks & we had an awesome time. Tasia debuted the Tasia shuffle & I’ve been doing it since.  

On Mother’s Day I went to B.B. King’s with Scott & his friend Esmerelda to see En Vogue.  They got back together to do a lil reunion tour, all original members.  This show was very different in the sense that no one shoved & pushed.  We were all still close to each other but it was not insane.  There were still tons of gays with one screaming behind me every 5 minutes at Dawn telling her to Work!  This other girl with a side pony tail decided to cut in front of me so she could tape them on her camera.  I decided not to cut her on the good side of the face basically because bitch didn’t have a good side.  J/k but not really.  The show was awesome & each member tore it up.  They were a different kind of girl group in the sense that every single member had lead vocals on many of the hit songs they had.  Cindy looked amazing for having popped out 4 kiddies.  Scott & I were beyond excited when she took our hands at the end of the show.  Ok, so it’s more like we ran up to take her hands but whatevs.  Dawn’s tig ole bitties were much larger than I remembered.  Maxine’s vocals were as strong as they were back in the day.  Lastly, Terri gave so much runway face & slick moves the gays were eating her up.  They ended their show with Free Your Mind which had the crowd roaring.  All in all they gave us something we could feel & they should know that our lovin’…. well they’re always gonna get it.  That memory I will Hold On to for sure.  

This month has continued to hit me musically because Kylie announced she was coming to the states FINALLY so you know I had to get a ticket for that.  Pink is also bringing her sass here as well.  Both of these shows go down in October so I will be looking forward to both of those shows.   

This month also brought all the season finale to ALL my shows I watch.  Desperate Housewives finally brought a conclusion to the crazy guy & I’m thinking that Susan will finally be back with Mike.  Linette needs to seriously stop having children.  Her bad ass kids have always drove me nanners.  I thought Brothers & Sisters was a lil ho hum.  Still good but somehow I was expecting more.  Gossip Girl was ok but got really good in the last few minutes.  I’m also a sucker for Dancing With The Stars which I also call Dancing with the Z-Listers or old bitches.  I had always wanted Lil’ Kim to be in the finals. Just like a ball of yarn to a kitty it was somehow yanked away from her.  I never watched the Bachelor but I have to say I thought Melissa was really good.  I liked Shawn & Giles equally & thought they all were deserving of the win.  Big ups to Shawn for being the youngest winner ever.  

90210 is a major guilty pleasure & after seeing this last episode I think I will have to stop watching next season.  Now watch them bring back Luke Perry or some mess just so I will have to watch.  I Love Money 2 is another guilty pleasure.  Frenchie cracks my shit up & when they have to have captions for what she says printed out the way it sounds always makes me giggle.  Still watching the Real World/Road Rules challenge & big ups to Mark showing the kids how to keep up.  South Park still makes me LOL 12 years strong.  I also read that the shows that they made just for me Samantha Who, Eli Stone & Dirty Sexy Money were canceled.  Oh well, I enjoyed it while it lasted.  30 Rock continues to get better & better with each episode.  SNL seems to have good weeks equally with bad weeks.  I guess it just depends on the host & the writers running out of ideas.  Anything with Kristen Wiig is hilarious.  Ugly Betty is still awesome (to me) but now that it’s being moved to Friday’s I guess that means I need to start saying goodbye to it as well.  I have always been most like Amanda’s character.  That last episode was really sad & I felt bad for Betty & Daniel.  

Speaking of feeling bad, Grey’s Anatomy had me more torn up then I thought it would.  I was not expecting that outcome AT ALL.  Call me a wuss but when any show deals with a tumor I become a wreck.  Maybe because it hits too close to home but damn, when it was over I sat there for a good 5 minutes just upset.  I had to tell myself it was just a frickin tv show & that’s all.  Damn, I can be a softie.  On The Tudor’s it seems no one is a softie.  Heads rolling left & right.  This season kind of sucked to me.  The first two were awesome & I hear the next season is the last.  It’s gotta be true because they are gonna run out of wives really soon.  

As for all the American Idol mess….. well what can I say?  I think I jinxed Adam when I posted a facebook status saying if we can get a black man to the White House then maybe we can get a gay to be the next American Idol.  Oh well, promises, promises.  I really do like Adam & I’m sure he’ll do fine.  Now it seems everyone is putting him on blast about not coming out.  I feel a lil torn about this.  I understand why everyone wants him to be a role model & come out.  I also understand why he hasn’t totally.  But seriously people, I (like so many others) have seen the pics online.  Bitch is gay, now call it a muthaf*ckin’ day & leave it alone.  (Quick Note:  Absolutely loved the first episode of Glee & I can’t wait for the fall for the rest of the episodes)

I think I have covered all my tv show addictions.  So You Think You Can Dance & Weeds will be what I’ll be watching in the meantime. For those of you reading & thinking why didn’t he tell a fabulous story or something?  Don’t worry babies.  Just like famous politicians I’ll get around to it.  Wink wink

I have also been listening to a LOT of upcoming & new artists.  There are a ton of songs that will be vying for the title of Summer Jam.  So let me hit you with 15 songs that I’ve been cranking the month of May.   

1.  I Know You Want Me/Pitbull

2.  Patron Tequila/Paradiso Girls feat. Lil’ Wayne & Eve

3.  Fire Burning/Sean Kingston

4.  Good Girls Go Bad/Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl)

5.  Heartbreak (Make Me A Dancer)/Freemason’s feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor

6.  Evacuate The Dancefloor/Cascada

7.  Waking Up In Vegas/Katy Perry

8.  Imma Be/Black Eyed Peas

9.  Don’t Trust Me/3 Oh3!

10.  Work/Saturdays

11.  Don’t Stop Believin’/Glee Cast

12.  Epiphany/Chrisette Michele

13.  You Belong With Me/Taylor Swift

14.  Hush, Hush/Pussycat Dolls

15.  Love Struck/V Factory

I’ve been gone for a minute but now I’m back with the jump off.  I’m so 3008 but my blogs have been so 2000 & late!  So, so, so much to discuss but at this point it’s like my first time so we’re gonna have to take it gently.  I had meant to discuss a lot of things in March & then found myself not having the time.  Then something happened that I was definitely NOT prepared for.  Right at the end of March I found out I was gonna have to serve on a grand jury.  What is a grand jury you ask?  Well let me tell you because I certainly had no idea what it was.  I thought it was just like any other jury & that I’d get off after a few days or a week even.  I had served back in August of 2003 during the blackout & that lasted all of 5 days.  Quick & over.  Imagine my surprise when they said that we would all be there for 4 weeks.  I would still be able to go to work during the day but then I would have to report to jury duty form 2-5 pm.  Work had a shit fit but there was nothing that could be done.  I was told it was my civic duty.  You know who else’s civic duty it is?  All my frickin friends who have lived here as well & have NEVER been called.  I’ve been here in NYC for 9 yrs & this is my 2nd time.  By the end of my term I was trying to do a refer a friend program.  The gym gives you $50 credit if you refer a friend.  Too bad the government doesn’t because I could be loaded by all the friends of mine who have never had to do this shizz!  Many people would ask what kind of case I was on but that’s the thing….. being a grand juror means you hear different cases every single day.  Your job is to decide if the case has enough evidence to go to trial.  Mostly the cases were boring & I found myself drifting off to sleep all the time.  In my defense, I have a short attention span & sitting for long periods of time listening to mono-tone voices will surely put anyone to sleep.  There were a few cases that were actually good & I couldn’t believe some of the stuff people were doing.  Guilty, guilty, ghetto bitches does come to mind when thinking of some people.  One defendant came in to plead his case & if anything he made it worse just by opening his mouth.  He had been accused of holding up 3 teens & robbing them at gun point.  Later he was arrested & been picked out in the line up by the teens.  He still claimed his innocence.  His testimony went something like this:

Yo I don’t know why I’m here.  It’s whatever, I didn’t do it.  I was up in Brooklyn with my girl all weekend fo realz.  Yo I didn’t leave all weekend.  It’s whatever whatever.  

The assistant district attorney then brought up how the defendants mother lived near the incident & showed further evidence that he was in the area visiting his mother.  Dude makes an incriminating face & continues to go on a rant where he ends each sentence with it’s whatever.  I kid you not, he said whatever 132 times.  I started counting because I was so incredibly bored of his crazy, guilty ass that could’t speak proper english.   What I found interesting was certain members of the jury who didn’t want to vote yes for a trial because they didn’t think there was enough evidence.  Half the time it was like, “Biiiiittttchhh, please!  Are you not hearing the same things I’m hearing?”  Many cases seem to be about people selling crack or coke or heroin.  One day I joked to the room that today’s cases were brought to us by the letter C & the color white.  Now can you tell me how to get…. how to get off the crack street?

All jokes aside there were a few cases that were a lil rough to sit through just because it was definitely no fun & games.  More like fun & drunken games gone terribly wrong.  It reminded me why I don’t like to watch cop shows or Law & Order or any show like that.  I’ll take my Dancing with old bitches, gossip whores, NBC comedies, ABC dramas & VH1 reality crap shows where people love money any day of the week. They’re wonderful ways to take your mind off of the REAL real world drama.  (Like this swine flu shizz.  Good grief I didn’t even know about it this time last week & now it’s all over the news!)  So last Friday was wonderful knowing that my term had come to an end & my life could get back to somewhat normal.  

Well as normal as one can be when you hang with my crew.  January, February & March have always been months where I knew I was gonna be b’day’d to death.  But, my oh my…. let me find out I need to add April to that list.  Even since I last blogged in February I’ve been a part of countless b’days.  Weekend after weekend there’s been cake, drinks, cupcakes, drinks, chips, drinks, dips, drinks & oh did I say drinks?  Each b’day party had some memorable moments for sure.  Chase’s always involves some hot places to get your dance on.  Vadim is like a sure thing.  Drunken good times with your besties at Pyramid & Splash.  Although as I sit here trying to remember certain moments, I can’t think of any.  I’ll just blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah alcohol.  For Benjamin’s we showed up to one bar & then had our own lil mini pride walk to the next club while taking over the streets of downtown.  Quite fabulous & it gave me ideas for my own b’day in a few months.  Hanging out with Shawn D is always a wonderful time & I wish we could do it more often.  At his I found myself posing with twinks, hotties & drag queens.  Oh MY!   Recently, at my boo Tasia’s I found myself traveling to Brooklyn for the evening.  I had supplied the music which was of course uh-may-zing!  I even found myself stuck chatting with her semi quasi bf.  He was ok until he kept wanting to play maudlin, boring music from the university station.  I was like eh!  What is it about college & cry baby music? (Mad props to the readers if you know that quote) But seriously, I can be mean about him now since he became a total douche & decided to break up with my boo over a text!  Who the hell does that?  Grow a pair & get over yourself.  I even got to see my beautiful blonde counterpart from NC for a hot NY minute while she visited on her b’day.  Adrienne, how I miss you already & I promise I’m gonna get down to NC soon.  For Matt B’s last week he had a lovely raffle for all his guests who could win adorable little prizes.  Poor Scott couldn’t even win one of those.  Don’t feel bad though Scott, the last lotto I was in I won but it was to be a fricking juror for 4 months.  Matt also had baked these tasty, tasty cupcakes for everyone & I know I had at least 3.  Which is not something I normally do in front of people but in my defense I was HONGRY!  It was sooo good I found myself leaving with 3 that were left in a tinfoil tray.  Please picture this as I was parading up 9th avenue in the rain with cupcakes.  As a guy walked by me looking up & down he goes, “Oooo nice cupcakes.”  Which made me giggle.  Without skipping a beat, I smiled & turned in a circle as if I was working the runway & then went about my way.  Giving it to the fans never seems to have a day off but I had to make it home in time for American Idol.  Which has been pretty good I have to say.  If America can vote for a black president then surely we can have a gay American Idol.  Raise up queen!  You got this!!! 

Since I didn’t hit you up with a blog in March I wasn’t able to do a top 10 list so now I’m gonna hit up with an extended one for April.  Some of it I can’t believe I like but somehow it penetrated my ears & got me jamming.  Enjoy & I promise to blog so much more soon!

1.  Love & Sex & Magic/Ciara & Justin Timberlake

2.  Halo/Beyonce

3.  Jai Ho/The Pussycat Dolls

4.  Boom Boom Pow/Black Eyed Peas

5.  Right Round/Flo Rida feat. Keshia

6.  Ride My Tempo/Ida Corr

7.  Poker Face(acoustic version)/Lady GaGa

8.  Blame It/Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain

9.  Day N’ Nite/Kid Cudi

10.  I Do Not Hook Up/Kelly Clarkson

11.  The Climb/Miley Cyrus

12.  Knock You Down/Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo

13.  Now I’m That Bitch/Livvi Franc

14.  Love Takes Over/David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland

15.  Give It To Me Right/Melanie Fiona

16.  Not Fair/Lily Allen

17.  T.O.N.Y./Solange Knowles

18.  I’m Not Alone/Calvin Harris

19.  Change/Daniel Merriweather feat. Wale

20.  Takin’ Back My Love/Enrique Iglesias feat. Ciara

Greetings & salutations blog readers.  It’s been a cold, cold time on the hot NYC nights.  I swear it has me thinking that next winter I’ll have to be like a bird & fly south for winter.  To say it’s been chilly is an understatement.  My willy don’t like this chilly.  It’s no secret I would much rather take clothes off than to pile them on.  I’m sure all of you have noticed with pics tagged on Facebook every weekend with me somehow half clothed.  Earlier this week Facebook caused quite the hoopla when it issued something in the terms saying it had all rights to our pics & such.  Naturally, I became livid & had to voice my concern.  I mean seriously….. I refused signing up for that shizz for ages & then for them to say this is malarky!  Luckily, they saw the error of their ways & changed their terms.  If there is a profit to be made off of my drunken half naked poses while giving it to the fans, then I need to be making a profit off it.  I mean hello!  The economy is a bitch & I am having to scrimp & save mah damn self.  But anyway, I digress….. enough about me.  What do you think of me?   This week I have been battling the case of an evil cold.  That’s right readers, once again I have been sick.  A plague has been put upon my mouth ever since the beginning of the year.  First tonsillitis, now this massive cold. It’s been hitting everyone around me & I realize it’s the time for it but c’mon really? I try to stay healthy & I’m nuts about my gym routine.  I thought this wasn’t suppose to happen to people who try to stay healthy?  It’s when I pose that question that I think about my actions that lead up to said drunk pics all over the internet.  

 

Oh baby baby have you seen Nicky tonight?

Is he in the bathroom?  Is he waiting out in line?  OH

Oh baby baby does he take a piece of lime

For the shot that Katie bought him

Cause she knows thats what he likes OH

Oh Oh tell me have you seen him

Cause I’m so oh I can’t get him out of my brain

I just want to go the party he gon’ go

Can somebody take me home

Ha ha hee hee ha ha ho 

 

I have had social commitments to my ears for the past few weeks.  Let’s see… first, there was 2 going away parties for some friends on the same night.  I had to travel up to the upper, upper, upper…. oh hell let’s just say it… Canada!  The train was acting a fool & Russell had told me I was gonna have to get off & switch to another or take a shuttle bus.  Whatchu talking bout Russell?  Only I couldn’t miss it because my British ladies Selina & Beverly were leaving to back across the pond.  Selina cooked a lovely meal & it’s been such a rare time for me to get good home cooking.  I don’t really cook because if it takes longer then 10 minutes I can’t be bothered.  To be honest, I don’t even really like to eat but whatevs.  A good time was had by all.  We drank wine & posed for pics & gabbed about shenanigans.  Mostly mine but the ladies had quite a few of their own which made me feel better.  I realized time was not on my side so then it was off to try to make the 2nd going away party for my boy Brian who is leaving NYC for greener pastures (Arizona in fact, never been there but I’m assuming it’s greener).  So back on the train I go & all is well until a homeless man enters doing his spiel about how he needs money & blah blah blah.  I don’t mean to sound heartless but for real… if I gave money to every person asking for a handout I would be left asking for it back because I would have none!  So I’m sitting there next to a lovely Puerto Rican girl with some extensions & he gets near us & says, “I need to go to the hospital because I’m sick.”  It was then he began to puke on us.  The front of my shirt, my pants & I swear it got in my hair.  It even got in the girl’s hair & she went off.  ”Get this muthafucka off tha train, Ima kill him!”  Then she went off in Spanish & it was too rapid for me to even get what she was saying at that point.  I can not deal with puke & never have been so I started feeling like I was gonna throw up. Luckily, this happened right before the stop at my house so I got off & ran home to re-shower.  So after this incident it put me even more behind & by the time I got to Brian’s party it was basically over.  Hmmm maybe that homeless man was the beginning of my sickness.  

Or it could be from my random make out sessions I have found myself in while in the midst of a drunken good time.  We were out not too long ago & I found myself in the middle of this friendly guy & his just as friendly girl ‘umm’ friend. Not really sure how to explain them but needless to say a make out fest was had with them both.  Yeah, I know… you’re like what?!  A girl?  For a while my friend Erika & I kept finding ourselves in drunken lip locks & my friends said that if no one had known us they would have thought we were a couple.  Funny thing is, neither of us remember this.  There was also a case of the eager & cute str8 boy hanging out with his gay friend. His crew started dancing with our crew & then all of a sudden he was pushing up on me.  Even his other str8 friend was shocked saying he’s not gay!  To that I said, “Oh I hate titles,” as I grinded with him. You may say this is slutty behavior.  I would just like to call it being friendly.  It’s not the first time & it probably won’t be the last.  

 

Love me, hate me

Say what you want about me

But all the boys & all the girls are begging to if you seek Nicky

 

This cold could also be from celebrating my boo Nicole & ex boo Jordan’s bdays.  It was last weekend & even though I was sick & taking a z-pack, chugging Theraflu (which tastes like a shot), & popping Mucinex I was not about to miss any of the soirees.  Lights were flashing, my hair was did & the shirts were feeling tight.  Good dancing times were had by all.  There was security drama & this guy threatening to punch Katie.  Even typing that I still can’t believe it.  I wasn’t having it & was ready to break some dishes over his head.  Chris Brown oh hell to the no, leave my Katie lone!  All that aside we had a good time.  If you haven’t seen the pics by now trust me, it was a good weekend.  

 

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy!
I can’t help i like to party it’s genetic!
It’s electrifying, wind me up and watch me go
Where he stops, nobody knows
A good excuse to be a bad influence on you and you and you….

 

So like I said this week it’s as if I’ve been in hiding.  At work but having to cough & blow my nose every 5 minutes it seems.  Still chugging my Therflu & taking Mucinex & only was able to go to the gym yesterday.  Trying to take it easy.  I either go balls to the wall or balls safely hidden.  It’s just the way I am. It’s the weekend again & I’m gonna do my best to chill.   I need to.  Let’s see how that goes……

 

Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, “come and play”
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I’m the only one to blame

I’m safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party’s over?
No pain
Inside
You’re like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

 

And since I know you need it…. here’s the top 10 for the month of February:

1.  Love Game/Lady GaGa

2.  If You Seek Amy/Britney Spears

3.  Please Don’t Leave Me/Pink

4.  Bottle Pop/The Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg

5.  Fuck You/Lily Allen

6.  Beating My Heart/Jon McLaughlin

7.  Diva/Beyonce

8.  White Horse/Taylor Swift

9.  The Boy Does Nothing/Alesha Dixon

10.  Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say/Lady GaGa

In Greek mythology there was a story explaining how the change of seasons came to be.  Hades, the god of the underworld, abducted Persephone while she was sitting around picking flowers.  Her mother Demeter did her best to do some ‘Not Without My Daughter’ shizz & managed to get Persephone back but with limited time warranty.  You see Hades had managed to get Persephone to eat of the underworld so then she kind of owed him or something.  So the arrangement was that Persephone would be able to return to the surface for 6 months and then stay 6 months in the underworld. All because she ate 6 pomegranate seeds.  Sound weird & fucked up right?  I mean Hades abducted her after all.  It was also said that while she was down there she fell in love with him so that may explain why she wanted to stay with him.  Either way, this infuriated Demeter so for 6 months she would grieve & take it out on the earth by bringing about the cold & famine.  Then, when she has her daughter back she is happy & brings the warm weather again.  Quite an interesting scenario to me.  But seriously that dumb beyotch should have pulled some more serious ‘Not Without My Daughter’ shizz & kept her daughter because this winter is killing me softly.  

January has not been my month.  There has been a plague set upon my mouth since New Years Day.  At the beginning of the month I found out I had an ulcer which was right next to my wisdom tooth.  Incidentally this is the same tooth that has been growing in for YEARS.  So for 2 weeks I had to be careful about eating & swish with stuff twice a day so it would go away.  The dentist also informed me that my gums were currently in a recession, much like the economy.  Her solution was to stop brushing so hard.  She also told me I have a small cavity which has to be filled next week.  Then, at the beginning of last weekend I felt like a cold was coming on so I did my best to combat it.  Since it’s the season for that I’ve seen tons of people at work & around sick so I’ve tried to avoid them.  By last Sunday I woke up feeling terrible & kind of weak. That night I barely slept.  I woke up with a 101 degree fever & the sheets were soaked from my sweat.  I called into work & immediately went to the doctor.  I had my suspicions on what caused it but he confirmed it when he said I had come down with tonsillitis again.  I last had it in July & had heard that if you have it too often you have to have your tonsils removed.  Instead he said that they only do that if it happens to you more than 3 times in a 6 month span. Then he said, “Nick, you have abnormally large tonsils.”  Hmmm doc you know all the things a guy likes to hear.  I’ll think of that the next time I have sexy times with someone.  Maybe they’ll like to hear ‘Yeah you like those abnormally large tonsils don’t cha?’  Hmmm…. maybe not.  

But I digress, enough about my mouth.  What do you think of my mouth?  No, so seriously I’ve been a tad saltier this month.  There’s been unnecessary fights with friends that don’t even deserve the space in a blog to discuss.  But I suppose that can happen with anyone.  Sometimes the people that know you best know how to push your buttons.  The same thing can be said about ourselves though right?  Right.  So at least all is well & this month is literally about to be over.  Last night I decided to go out to see a group I used to like as a kid, Expose.  It was an 80’s night & plenty of people were dressed in their 80’s garb.  They tossed out glow sticks & other things that lit up.  Before I knew it I had one around my neck  & then 3 around my waist which prompted a Puerto Rican papi to call me Neon Shakira when I shook my ass.  At around 1:15 am Expose finally came out.  Mind you normally I am asleep in lala land on a school/work night but I’m glad I went.  We all had so much fun & Expose sang like 6 of their biggest hits.  Larry was in heaven when he got to sing a line when one of the girls sent out the mic & Vadim is just sure that he’ll get a record deal when the same thing happened to him.  It prompted me to say, “Vadim made a record & is trying to promote it at an Expose show.”  (you Madonna die hards will get that one)  Most importantly, I ran into some friends who I haven’t seen in years & even reconnected with a former co-worker who was a pop star in her own right in the early 90’s.  Yes Vadim, don’t lie…. I know you’re jealous.  I’ll introduce you next time.  I had a dream I met India & she sang her song about burning up the fire with just one desire.  All I could think was that Vadim was gonna be so jealous! (another diehard madonna knock off quote but it works for this story)

So today I’m a lil tired but I don’t mind.  My tonsillitis feels like it’s almost cleared up thanks to the antibiotics.  A wisdom tooth is trying to make me think it’s gonna annoy me today but I ain’t having it.  I’m in a good mood. Expose reminded that…….

Seasons change, feelings change

It’s been so long since I found you

Yet it seems like yesterday

Seasons change, people change

I’ll sacrifice tomorrow just to have you here today

 

One last thing, I heard from a lot of people about my top 100 for 2008 & wanted to know what my new jams were.  So I decided you need to know about my top 10 songs of this month.  

1.  Circus/Britney Spears

2.  That’s Not My Name/The Ting Tings

3.  Sober/Pink

4.  I Hate This Part/The Pussycat Dolls

5.  Broken Strings/James Morrison & Nelly Furtado

6.  My Life Would Suck Without You/Kelly Clarkson

7.  The Fear/Lily Allen

8.  The Loving Kind/Girls Aloud

9.  Issues/The Saturdays

10.  Unstoppable/Kat De Luna & Lil’ Wayne

Well kids it’s that time of the year & I start thinking about my favorite songs of the year.  The older I grow the more I find I don’t like some popular music so a lot of the songs you’ll find in this list you may not know.  It’s ok because a lot of the songs are British or from another country.  There are even songs on here like Don’t Stop The Music, Valerie & Bleeding Love that were actually released in 2007.  But, they didn’t become big here in the states until this year.  Even my number one song Just Dance was released this past summer & I’ve been loving it since.  It’s only been the past month or so that it’s really taken off.  Which makes me happy since I’ve been a Gaga supporter for months now.  Rihanna is the female with the most hits this year with 7 appearances on this.  Chris Brown is the male with 5 songs in my top 100.  This year also saw all my divas release an album & some crashed & burned & some blew up.  I decided that for this chart there would only be songs that charted somewhere in the world.  I had plenty of songs that were actually my favorite songs on the year although they weren’t released as official singles.  ’Tomorrow’ & ‘Distant Dreamer’ by Duffy, ‘Candy Shop’ & ‘The Beat Goes On’ by Madonna, ‘I’m That Chick’ by Mariah Carey, ‘So Much Out The Way’ by Estelle would be just to name a few.  I hope you enjoy my list & if you don’t know a song look it up & if you don’t believe the chart positions…. well I highly doubt you should doubt me!  I wish everyone a happy new year & they say whatever you’re doing at the stroke up midnight you’ll be doing the rest of the year.  Well here’s to stroking & make sure whatever you do you do it well!!!  With no further ado here is my top 100 for 2008.

 

1.  Just Dance/Lady Gaga (#1 Canada/Australia #3 US)

2.  Don’t Stop The Music/Rihanna (#1 Australia #2 Canada #3 US #4 UK)

3.  Bleeding Love/Leona Lewis (#1 UK/US/Australia/Canada)

4.  Valerie/Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse (#2 UK)

5.  Touch My Body/Mariah Carey (#1 US #2 Canada #5 UK)

6.  4 Minutes/Madonna & Justin Timberlake (#1 Canada/UK/Australia #3 US)

7.  I Kissed A Girl/Katy Perry (#1 US/UK/Canada/Australia)

8.  When I Grow Up/Pussycat Dolls (#2 Australia #3 Canada/UK #9 US)

9.  Feedback/Janet Jackson (#3 Canada #19 US #1 US Dance)

10.  Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)/Beyonce (#1 US #6 Australia #8 Canada)

11.  Black & Gold/Sam Sparro (#2 UK #4 Australia #8 US Dance)

12.  Chasing Pavements/Adele (#2 UK #82 US)

13.  Disturbia/Rihanna (#1 US #2 Canada #3 UK #6 Australia)

14.  Dance Wiv Me/Dizzee Rascal & Calvin Harris (#1 UK #13 Australia)

15.  Give It 2 Me/Madonna (#7 UK #8 Canada #57 US #1 US Dance)

16.  Mercy/Duffy (#1 UK #11 Canada #26 Australia #27 US)

17.  Spotlight/Jennifer Hudson (#1 US R&B #11 UK #24 US Pop)

18.  Poker Face/Lady Gaga (#1 Canada/Australia)

19.  Movie Star/Roisin Murphy (#3 US Dance Singles Sales)

20.  In My Arms/Kylie Minogue (#10 UK #35 Australia)

21.  Womanizer/Britney Spears (#1 US/Canada #3 UK #5 Australia)

22.  So What/Pink (#1 US/UK/Canada/Australia)

23.  Work/Kelly Rowland (#4 UK #6 Australia)

24.  With Every Heartbeat/Robyn (#1 UK #5 US Dance)

25.  Keeps Gettin’ Better/Christina Aguilera (#4 Canada #7 US #14 UK)

26.  Amazing/Seal (#1 US Dance)

27.  Breakin’ Dishes/Rihanna (#4 US Dance)

28.  Can’t Speak French/Girls Aloud (#9 UK)

29.  No Air/Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown (#1 Australia #3 US/UK/Canada)

30.  Hot N’ Cold/Katy Perry (#1 Canada #3 US #4 UK/Australia)

31.  Let It Rock/Kevin Rudolf & Lil’ Wayne (#2 Canada #5 US #13 Australia)

32.  Numba 1 (The Tide Is High)/Kardinall Official & Rihanna (#38 Canada)

33.  Spiralling/Keane (#23 UK)

34.  I’m Yours/Jason Mraz (#3 Australia #4 Canada #6 US)

35.  Apologize/Timbaland & One Republic (#1 Australia/Canada #2 US #3 UK)

36.  Better In Time/Leona Lewis (#2 UK #6 Australia #9 Canada #11 US)

37.  I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time/Mariah Carey & T.I. (#36 US R&B #58 US Pop)

38.  I Decided/Solange Knowles (#1 US Dance #27 UK #44 US R&B)

39.  Clumsy/Fergie (#4 Canada #5 US)

40.  Miss Independent/Ne-Yo (#6 UK #7 US #1 US R&B)

41.  Low/Flo-rida & T-Pain (#1 US/Canada/Australia #2 UK)

42.  Viva La Vida/Coldplay (#1 US/UK #2 Australia)

43.  American Boy/Estelle & Kanye West (#1 UK #3 Australia #9 US/Canada)

44.  Love Song/Sara Bareilles (#1 Canada #4 US/UK/Australia)

45.  Sexual Eruption/Snoop Dogg (#7 US #24 UK)

46.  Be Mine/Robyn (#10 UK)

47.  Let Me Think About It/Ida Corr (#2 UK #1 US Dance)

48.  The World Should Revolve Around Me/Little Jackie (#14 UK)

49.  Cry For You/September (#5 UK #14 Australia #74 US #1 US Dance Airplay)

50.  Live Your Life/T.I. & Rihanna (#1 US #2 UK #3 Australia #5 Canada)

51.  Shut Up & Let Me Go/Ting Tings (#6 UK #55 US #1 US Dance)

52.  If I Were A Boy/Beyonce (#1 UK #3 US/Australia #4 Canada)

53.  Damaged/Danity Kane (#10 US)

54.  The Promise/Girls Aloud (#1 UK)

55.  Like You’ll Never See Me Again/Alicia Keys (#1 US R&B #12 US Pop)

56.  Into The Nightlife/Cyndi Lauper (#1 US Dance)

57.  You Know Me Better/Roisin Murphy (#47 UK)

58.  Wow/Kylie Minogue (#5 UK #11 Australia #19 US Dance Airplay)

59.  Piece Of Me/Britney Spears (#2 Australia/UK #5 Canada #18 US)

60.  Forever/Chris Brown (#2 US/Canada #4 UK)

61.  See You Again/Miley Cyrus (#4 Canada #6 Australia #10 US #11 UK)

62.  That’s Not My Name/Ting Tings (#1 UK #8 Australia #88 US)

63.  Handle Me/Robyn (#17 UK #5 US Dance)

64.  Just Fine/Mary J. Blige (#3 US R&B #22 US Pop #13 UK #1 US Dance)

65.  Love Story/Taylor Swift (#1 US Country #4 Canada #5 US Pop)

66.  Lollipop/Mika (#18 UK)

67.  Closer/Ne-Yo (#1 UK #7 US #8 Australia

68.  Stop & Stare/One Republic (#4 UK #11 Australia #12 US)

69.  With You/Chris Brown (#2 Canada/US #5 Australia #8 UK)

70.  Pocketful Of Sunshine/Natasha Bedingfield (#3 Canada #5 US)

71.  Our Song/Taylor Swift (#1 US Country #16 US Pop)

72.  Who’s That Girl/Robyn (#26 UK)

73.  Foundations/Kate Nash (#2 UK)

74.  Dangerous/M. Pokora & Timbaland (#1 France)

75.  Calabria 2008/Enur & Natasha (#46 US #1 US Dance Airplay)

76.  Teardrops On My Guitar/Taylor Swift (#2 US Country/Canada #13 US Pop)

77.  Superwoman/Alicia Keys (#12 US R&B #82 US Pop)

78.  Leavin’/Jesse McCartney (#10 US Pop #1 US Dance)

79.  Up/The Saturday’s (#5 UK)

80.  Can’t Get Over/September (#5 Sweden #12 US Dance)

81.  One Step At A Time/Jordin Sparks (#11 Canada #12 Australia #17 US)

82.  Last Name/Carrie Underwood (#1 US Country #19 US Pop)

83.  Forgive Me/Leona Lewis (#5 UK)

84.  My Joy/Quentin Harris feat. Margaret Grace (Top 20 US Dance)

85.  Won’t Go Home Without You/Maroon 5 (#7 Australia #16 Canada #48 US)

86.  All I See/Kylie Minogue & Mims (#3 US Dance #81 Canada)

87.  Love Is Gone/David Guetta & Chris Willis (#9 UK #98 US)

88.  If I Never See Your Face Again/Maroon 5 & Rihanna (#11 Australia #12 Canada #28 UK #51 US)

89.  If I Can’t Dance/Sophie Ellis-Bexter (#9 Portugal #17 Spain)

90.  Run The Show/Kat De Luna (#2 US Dance)

91.  We Break The Dawn/Michelle Williams (#4 US Dance)

92.  Be O.K./Chrisette Michele & Will.I.Am (#61 US R&B)

93.  Shawty Get Loose/Lil’ Mama, T-Pain & Chris Brown (#10 US)

94.  Kiss Kiss/Chris Brown & T-Pain (#1 US Pop #2 US R&B #6 Canada)

95.  The One/Kylie Minogue (#2 UK Dance #10 Australia Dance #36 UK)

96.  Just A Dream/Carrie Underwood (#1 US Country #29 US Pop)

97.  Take A Bow/Rihanna (#1 US/UK/Canada #3 Australia)

98.  Right Here (Departed)/Brandy (#22 US R&B #34 US Pop #1 US Dance)

99.  Break The Ice/Britney Spears (#9 Canada #43 US #1 US Dance)

100.  Miles Away/Madonna (#1 Spain #5 Japan #39 UK #1 US Dance Airplay)

Hey, maybe I’ll dye my hair 
Maybe I’ll move somewhere 
Maybe I’ll get a car 
Maybe I’ll drive so far 
They’ll all lose track 
Me, I’ll bounce right back 

Maybe I’ll sleep real late 
Maybe I’ll lose some weight 
Maybe I’ll clear my junk 
Maybe I’ll just get drunk on apple wine 
Me, I’ll be just 

Fine and Dandy 
Lord it’s like a hard candy christmas 
I’m barely getting through tomorrow 
But still I won’t let 
Sorrow bring me way down

 

Hello everyone!  It’s that time again.  I swear it seems once Halloween gets here then Thanksgiving is 5 minutes after. Then, just as your starting to digest your food….. Christmas comes to slap you in the face.  For some years now I’ve not thought of Christmas as the happiest of times due to family stuff but over time I’ve gotten better.  I had actually planned to try to write something yesterday but I’m glad I didn’t.  I was in a uhh let’s just say fowl mood.  Unfortunately for me I’m not able to mask very well if something is wrong with me.  All through the day friends at work were like, “Are you ok?  You seem down.”  With a quick, exasperated smile I would say no & that I was just tired.  Then I get to the gym & see other people I know.  ”Nick…. you seem a little…..” Even before the sentence was out I would quickly exclaim all was well & that I was just trying to get my workout done.  I swear, sometimes having an expressive face is an annoyance.  But, like most things with me…. I refuse to be down about anything for too long.  Just like Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas I’ll be fine & dandy.  I always liked the words to that song.  Recently, I did just die my hair.  Although given my current state maybe I should have went dark & brooding. I don’t plan on moving anywhere (yet).  I don’t like cars so I don’t plan on getting one (unless I would per se move).  If any one loses track…  well how did that happen when I’m on every social network known to man it seems?  I’m not really a texter so if you want to talk to me that’s what you’re gonna have to do…. talk… to… me.  

Today is my last day of work because my agency is closed until January 5th, which is incredibly nice.  I’m looking forward to sleeping in, staying in the gym longer, cleaning out the junk & I’m sure I’ll imbibe on something festive over the holidays.  They say the holidays are some of the most drunken times.  Last year I didn’t play apart of that since I could not drink.  But it seems this year I’ve somehow tried to make up for it.  Which has me thinking that it’s time to calm myself down.  The last few weeks have gotten a bit out of control & next thing you know there are drunk & scandalous pics of me being tagged on facebook.  Dammit, where is my publicist when I need her to make sure these things don’t happen?  This is why I always say take pics at the beginning of the night & then when things get out of control hide the damn camera!  

 

Hey, maybe I’ll learn to sew 
Maybe I’ll just lie low 
Maybe I’ll hit the bars 
Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn 
Me, I will go on 

Maybe I’ll settle down 
Maybe I’ll just leave town 
Maybe I’ll have some fun 
Maybe I’ll meet someone 
And make him mine 
Me, I’ll be just 

Fine and dandy 
Lord it’s like a hard candy christmas 
I’m barely getting throung tomorrow 
But still I won’t let sorrow bring me way down  

 

Hmmm learning to sew may not be my thing but it would certainly be helpful.  Lying low is easy.  I love my me, myself & I time.  Hitting the bars?  I think I covered that in the last paragraph.  Counting the stars is not something I have done in NYC ever.  I don’t think I have ever properly paid attention to it.  Settling down & making someone mine was done before, it didn’t work out so well.  Not to say I do not discount it.  I marched proudly twice for the rights to gay marriage.  Equal rights ARE equal rights.  Last night I was chatting with a friend who was mentioning he may want to marry his bf & I said well you can count on me to be your best man.  Like anything, it has its ups & downs.  I think about this time last year & how it was right before another big change was about to go down.  Somehow over the year I’ve celebrated and grieved it’s loss more then I would like to admit.  A sigh as the writer takes a minute to think.  

This Christmas I have once again decided to stay in NYC for the holidays.  I haven’t been to NC for Xmas in yrs.  It hasn’t felt the same since my grandmother died so I like to celebrate Xmas my own way, with friends who have decided to stay here as well.  I’ve also decided to go down to NC when it’s a lil bit warmer & I can escape the cold here (since I’m sure it will be cold here for many months to come).  I don’t really have any New Years Eve plans yet.  I have done the megaclub, I have done the stay at home, I have done the house party.  I think that’s what I prefer at this point.  I’ll keep you updated but that is next week.  As for this one, Santa Claus is coming to town even though the economy sucks.  As long as he brings my friends & some music & a lil bit of booze….. I’ll be fine and dandy.

Originally I had planned to write something right after Halloween. I figured you would want to hear about all the shenanigans that took place. There were plenty believe me. I posted pics on here & Facebook & by the beginning of the week I had put myself on hiatus from everyone because I was so tired & needed some major me, myself & I time. We all had a great time. But, there were some moments that could not escape my thoughts. Just a year ago I wasn’t celebrating Halloween because I was worried someone would hit my head with something. I also felt like I looked scary enough to not even need a costume. I stayed in the apt with Scott & Larry & we watched scary movies & ate pizza. So this year I was excited to actually be able to celebrate & not be worried about anything. I dressed as a semi-wrestler. Ok I know, anything to be semi-naked. I originally planned to do a Roman soldier look but then everyone in Gay Manhattan decided to do the same look & clearly I’m not a follower so I had to take that back. Some friends dressed as variations of bunnies & Scott was a disco soul white man with black afro. We all got together at Wissam’s & drank & got ready for the parade. We took pictures & had a wonderful time. Then the night came & there were at least 3 different occasions where we encountered hate. In Chelsea of all places. Some straight idiots had yelled out fags to my friends walking in front of me. My friend yelled back, “That’s right bitch so get out of Chelsea!” Then, a few blocks later, we encountered some small children in their get ups. They couldn’t have been more then 5 or 6 yrs old. One of them grumbled ‘homos’ as he went by. The older guys didn’t shock me but this did. This kind of behavior had to be taught. When I was that age I didn’t know what that word was. Even though we all had a blast that night I couldn’t help but think & wonder why hate begats hate. 

A few days later was the election. Time Square was packed & you would have thought it was New Years Eve. My own friends spent the time together & said, “Yes! We Did It! Yes! We Can!” I went to bed with a smile on my face. It was a wonderful feeling to know that someone with merit can become president & it didn’t matter what color their skin was. It felt like we were finally taking a step forward. But then the next day my happiness was quickly taken away. As everyone else was taking a step forward the news came that Proposition 8 passed in California. It was like ok, a lot of you can step forward but the rest of you need to take a step back. Go & sit in the back of the bus. You are a second class citizen. What was also hard to hear was that 70% of African Americans & a large percentage of Latino’s voted for this Proposition as well. What the hell people? Why would groups that experienced & still experience discrimination inflict it upon others? Why does hate begat hate?

What happened to that phrase ‘Do unto other’s as you would have do unto you.’ Yes, that’s what I thought. Do only when it’s convenient. And what about this sanctity of marriage thing? Bull shit. If it was so important then I doubt half of all marriages would be ending in divorce. I didn’t initially mean to make this a rant blog. As we know, that’s not my style. But, deep down I never thought Prop 8 would pass. I thought we had been taking great strides in the way adjusting what people thought about us. I just assumed it was crazy so called religious people & that number wasn’t that much. That’s where I & so many other people I know thought wrong. Don’t discount the crazy’s. They apparently travel in large numbers. Well the alarm has went off & something must be done. I’m going to a few protests this week & I’ll let you know how it goes. I never figured myself to be the protest type but things change. Hate has to stop. Another change has gonna have to come. 

But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
You’ve got the music in you
Don’t let go
You’ve got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don’t give up
You’ve got a reason to live
Can’t forget you only get what you give

Nickakah came, saw, & conquered. I’ve finally gathered up some sleep & can put together the memories of what was one of the most fun weeks I had in quite some time. I started off celebrating by going to 6 Flags with Larry, Ej & Jeremy. Larry almost wasn’t able to get in because his shirt was deemed offensive. It said ‘Rick Said Good Evening Bitches’. Mind you I don’t see how this should be offensive but it’s hard to offend me. What WAS offensive were the prices for food. $17 for a small burger & small fries & a drink? Now that’s offensive bitches! I also couldn’t help but think that the next time I go I’ll rock the Flash Pass. Without it you just stand in lines waiting & waiting & any one who knows me, knows how much I HATE to wait. As we were waiting for one ride, a conductor in the most monotone voice ever would finish her spiel by saying, “This will change your life.” After hearing that at least 15 times I was ready to let her know that it BETTER change my life. This was a water ride & I had been wanting to ride it for hours because it was so hot outside. By the time it was over I felt like I had been spritzed & Ej walked away soaked. Clearly that ride did not change my life. After all was said & done, I had my most fun on the tea cups. I had that thing spinning round & round & faster then any one else’s. I felt like I was getting an arm & ab workout & then trying to walk off of it, I felt like I was drunk. A workout with a shot of a buzz? Clearly the one for me. The next day I got myself up to go to Fire Island. It should be noted that I should have known how it was going to go when I got on the train & then the conductor told at least 20 of us to take another train. As I got on I thought something about this doesn’t seem right. Turns out I was right. He had sent us on the wrong train so I then had to switch at another stop just to go back to my original stop. It ended up taking me 4 hrs to get out there. The rest of the trip had similar craziness but I wasn’t surprised. The actual Pines Party that I went to was tons of fun & I had a blast dancing for hours with all my boys. Jordan had managed to get Chase & I in for free as long as we worked for a few hours. We were security. Now, Chase as security I can totally see. As for me, not so much. But being this was with the gays we didn’t have to worry about fights, just blow jobs in corners & extra curricular activities. All the while I still managed to have a drink in my hands & in my book that is a wonderful way to work security. Once it was over, in true Nick out to Fire Island form it rained. I can never seem to make it out there for actual sun. It’s a good thing I have other ways to tan here in the city. By Monday I decided I needed to just go to work & then to dance class. I knew that I was going to need all the sleep I could get for the next 6 days of Nickakah.

Tuesday night was the official kick off to all things ME. I decided to go to Pieces & do a little karaoke. It was a lovely way to start. The drag queen decided that it would be a good idea for me to take off my shirt after I sang Tears Dry On Their Own. I said no. She said, “Take it off.” I said, “What do I get for it?” She said, “Drink tickets.” That seemed reason enough for me & after that she also let my friend Krista get up & sing some Janis Joplin without putting a slip in. Ahhh, the things I do for friends & drink tickets. Seen at the kick off: Scott, Larry, Ej, Nicole, Jeremy, Chase, Gilbert, Lil Tom, Jon & with a very special guest appearance by Vadim. All day long he had been telling me he was too tired to make it. He had even done a fake call at 10 pm saying he was going to sleep. So imagine my shock when I saw Basic Trash make his way through the crowd. It was a great way to kick things off & I had a blast with all my peeps.

I’ve had a little bit too much
All of the people start to rush. Start to rush by.
How does he twist the dance?
Can’t find my drink oh man.
Where are my keys, I lost my phone.
What’s go-ing out on the floor?
I love this record baby, but I can’t see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what’s the name of this club?
I can’t remember but it’s alright, alright.

Wednesday was my last day of work for the week & I decided that night I would usher in 30 by entering in a talent competition at Therapy for their Cattle Call night hosted by Peppermint Gummybear. Yes, she’s a drag queen for those that don’t know. I told only a few people because this was my first time performing in front of people for quite some time & my nerves were getting the best of me. The place was packed & when my name was called first I wanted to throw up a little. To add there were 2 other people there celebrating their bdays as well. I was like these bitches are stealing my thunder! But, as soon as I got on the stage & a light shun on me…. I felt back in my element. I performed Fever which was always a Greatest Hit for me so to speak. People yelled & hollered & during a key moment of the song Peppermint came over & helped rip my shirt open, then proceeded to rub what I swear felt like Crisco on my chest. The crowd roared & I ate it up. Those other bday bitches weren’t gonna steal this thunder now! After me were 2 other guys. One sang a….uhhhh….(think of something nice to say)….neat version of I am Changing from Dreamgirls. The other had a guitar & sang something that I couldn’t make out. It was slow & draggy & then I heard my friend say, “At least you kept people watching you!” It didn’t get better after that because it was then a black guy in a wig doing his best uh errr drag. I could have done a better job but once again, if I can’t say anything nice then I won’t say anything at all. As we moved on to the next, it was Angelique Ali. I’ve heard her out & about for years & she’s famous in the scene. I was fully prepared to come in 2nd to her. She has an amazing voice & sounds like Deborah Cox. She came out in an evening gown which just added to her fabulousness. Oh & I should add, she is trannylicious. That’s right, when she speaks she’s got this low low tone to her voice and a penis. Penis or no penis, she sang & brought the house down. Scott looked at me & tapped me on the shoulder & said, “At least you’ll get 2nd.” Then the last performer came out on the stage & was ummm either a girl dressed as a man or a really, really odd looking midget man. IT got on stage & sang something that sounded like 5 rats fighting over a piece of cheese & then did a ‘performance piece’ to Breakin Dishes (which is one of my favorite Rihanna songs). Then IT threw out paper plates during the chorus & I couldn’t watch it anymore. Seriously, was this entertainment? Imagine my utter shock when we got on stage & it came down between IT & Angelique. Apparently IT had a lot of friends to show up & cheer IT on. I had barely told people because I was worried I may suck. Guess I should have made that the kick off. Then in a very shocking moment while we were standing on stage, these 2 guys sitting near us got into a bitch fight. Next thing you know I hear yelling & glasses flying. Literally, bitches were breakin dishes up in there! A piece came to the stage & hit Angelique in the forehead. She fell back against me & I thought, “Tranny down! Tranny down! I need back up!” Guess I was gonna be security after all. Things were finally composed & they were escorted out & the winner was announced to be IT. Honestly, I can’t remember the name so I called it IT. I then joked that Angelique & I lost to Pat from SNL! She thought it was funny & then she asked me where she knew me from. The guy with the guitar then said it as well & added, “I feel like I should know you because you’re famous or something.” I joked that if I was indeed famous then I would NOT be opening for IT/Pat. I then said I would open for Angelique any time & she raised her eyebrow & smiled. Uh oh clearly she took that not the way I intended. So then it was back to hanging with my friends who had showed up to see me. Seen: Scott, Daniel, Ricardo, their friend whose name eludes me right now, Ej, Sean, Mickey & Nico.

I woke up late Thursday morning & thought about how now I was officially in the 30’s club. I decided I needed to go downtown & do some shopping. I tried on jeans & got all excited to know that waist 30 fit me & my ass perfectly. The shirts fit me perfectly & showed off the perky busoms just the way they should. If this is how 30 looks then 30 looks good bitches. My ego was stroked tremendously when I told the salesgirl it was my bday & she asked how old I was turning. I told her 30 & she looked shocked. She exclaimed that I looked 25. I said thank you & beamed with excitement. That night I invited a few peeps over for bday cake. (Not too much, how else do you think I stay like this?) I welcomed gifts from Ej, Larry & Jordan & we had some drinks before we went to the Ritz. Seen: Ej, Larry, Jordan, Scott, Vadim, Big Tom, Tommy & John. Then we all went to Ritz without Big Tom because he was a tired, tired man. At first there was no one at Ritz but my friends which felt nice. Dj Danny played music that only we wanted to hear & Vadim said, “Oh no! Your bday is turning into just what mine had! No one comes!” He seemed more upset then I was because he was living vicariously through Nickakah. Someone would say Happy Bday Nick & he would say thank you. Just when we thought there would be no crowd Natasha aka Jackee Star Jones came into the room. Rocking a new wig & mad Bday love she worked the stairs. Before I knew it, I turned around & the room was filled. I was working the fan, Nicole was spinning around & Vadim was happy his vicarious bday was gonna be a success. Dj Danny even gave me a bday shout over the mic & I jumped up & down. Seen: Billy & his bf John, Dennis, Jason, Russell Murray, Colin aka Fake Billy, other people I’m forgetting now but you have all my love. At one point in the night this guy came up to me & said, “I love your films.” I felt puzzled. How did he know where to look out for me in Glitter or the other movie that no one saw called New Best Friend. So I said, “What are you talking about?” “Your films! I get off to you all the time.” Then it hit me! “Ummm, I don’t do porn.” He looked shocked & then said, “Whatever, I know it’s you. You just don’t what everyone to know & say something to you.” He then turned away & went back to his friends. I thought it was funny how apparently everyone is sure I’m famous in one way or another. I went back to dancing & then Danny played something like Britney or something sexy & I found myself doing a danceoff with Jackee Star Jones. I started dancing all sexually suggestive with myself & then the dude came back to me & said, “Ok you’re gonna dance like that & say you DON’T do porn? Right!” Shortly after I met a guy who was flirting with me & then I decided to take him home. That’s right I was going to have a bizzniss associate after all. I thought, “Hey! It’s my bday! I should get some bday sex out of it.” Everything seemed nice until he decided to talk. He was from California & had this surfer way of speaking. Which I can be fine with but it must be said, I’m not much of a talker during sexy times. Don’t tell me what you’re gonna do, don’t give me a dramatic monologue, just do it. Honestly, it felt like a bad porn & being that I was just told I did porn this was not helping. He then says, “Awww seriously…. this ass is hot.” All of a sudden I flashed to the conductor at 6 Flags with the monotone voice & thought, “This ass will change your life.” Which proceeded to put me in a fit of giggles. Which must have not helped his ego. Needless to say not the sexiest of times was had.

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth.
How’d I turn my shirt inside out? Inside out babe.
Control your poison babe
Roses have thorns they say.
And we’re all gettin’ hosed tonight.
What’s go-ing out on the floor?
I love this record baby, but I can’t see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what’s the name of this club?
I can’t remember but it’s alright, alright.

Friday ended up being a small crew of us going to Pyramid. A few peeps flaked out but don’t worry, I still got mad love for you Jackie & Shaq. Chip who we refer to as Uncle Fester even changed up his mix tape & threw in some 80’s jams I haven’t heard in ages. Sheena Easton’s Strut had me doing JUST that. We had our own highlights of the night by changing the words to Papa Don’t Preach. But, my highlight was Scott & I using a very long piece of fabric to do a dance that was So You Think Can Dance Mia Michael’s contemporary worthy. Normally my grooves are premeditated but this dance fully had him & I creating on the spot. It was fabu. Seen: Scott, Larry, Vadim, Ej, Andy, Kevi Kev, his friend Wayne & Jeremy

Saturday was meant to be spent at the Pier but the rain canceled out that plan. Instead Larry, Scott & I decided to do my double feature plan of seeing 2 movies for the price of 1. We watched The Dark Knight which I found to be entertaining but not as great as everyone has hyped it up to be. Heath was good as the Joker but really? Oscar worthy? Hmmmm. Maybe I’ll have to watch it again to fully GET it but not any time soon. We then watched Mamma Mia. The best singer was the girl from Mean Girls. Who know! Screw Lindsay Lohan trying to release a hot song. Someone sign this girl up! Meryl was good & gave a good performance especially during the Winner Takes It All. Christine Baranski & the other lady playing her friend was wonderful. I could have done without Pierce & his singing. I felt like he was yelling at me. All in all the experiences were good but honestly & it must be said….. do not bring your baby to the movies! This couple in front of me in the Dark Knight drove us nuts with their loud ass baby! Then in Mamma Mia these 2 teenage girls sitting a few seats down from me were driving me crazy talking about random high school shit. OMFG I AM getting old, teenage girls are driving me crazy! So other then that we had a nice time. Double features is fun & it’s the only way I like to watch movies. It’s a bit of a commitment though. 6 hours in a movie theater can make your ass sore! Later, Vadim had a save the animals meeting he had to do in Union Sq & Scott & I decided to have some pre drinks before we went to Splash. Tons of fun was had & we danced our asses off & Scott & I even re-enacted out string dance. It wasn’t as great as the night before due to the fact that we had limited space. But either way we gave it to the fans! Seen: Scott, Vadim, Nicole, Rob, Brad, Jude, Frank, Matt B, Chase, Lil Tom, Erick, Erica, Kevin M & Dennis. At the end of the night Scott ended up staying with me. I wanted to make sure he would be on time for brunch & not accidentally sleep through it. I asked for a hot man in my bed & instead I get Scott! Just kidding Scott. We had a nice time & watched Sordid Lives on Logo & then finally went to sleep.

Sunday was a gathering at HK for brunch. As I have stated before, when we do brunch we do it right. Drinking mimosa’s & bellini’s for hours upon hours. Vadim, Scott, Larry, Ej, Nathan, Tasia, Pricilla & I had a lovely time. Discussing all the events of Nickakah & how next year Vadim is going to celebrate his bday as well during Nickakah. Which I will not be having, This was the first year where I was constantly hearing it was someone’s bday as well. It was really odd. There were the 2 at Therapy & then just walking around the street I would hear convo’s about so & so’s bday. Either way no one stole my thunder. There were some people that I expected a little more from. I’ll not name any names & it’s not like I should be incredibly shocked due to the past circumstances. It just makes me that more thankful for the people I did have. Which is why I try to celebrate as much as possible because I know other people have things to do. But seriously, when you can’t make at least ONE event? That’s seriously putting you in the DTM category. Now, I’m sure there will be some people reading this & there are a few people I knew had stuff going on so i understand. I’m not that selfish. As for the others ooooo my memory is long, very, very long. Unless I have been drinking. What definitely HAS to be said is there was one person who made every single event…. Scott. I realize I celebrate for days & I also realize not everyone can keep up with me.

Don’t stop me now, don’t need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When the lights go down and there’s no one left
I can go on and on and on

So Scott big ups to you for Giving it 2 me for each & every single event. I definitely owe you the best of me. Thank goodness your bday is still some time away so I can fully rest for it lol. And many, many thanks to all my ladies & gents who showed just how much love they have for me. Vadim, my Basic Trash Pencil Buddy work that couture. Larry, 7 yrs & still offensive & going strong. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Ej, forever having a new scheme. As for this no sex thing? Well you still have another month so I’ll try to have enough for the both of us. I would add more here but it would just make this blog longer & I know how much you guys hate to read too much. I still would like to use a blog to reflect upon the 20’s but as for now here’s hello to my 30’s. Are you ready bitches?

Just dance. Gonna be okay.
Da-da-doo-doo
Just dance. Spin that record babe.
Da-da-doo-doo
Just dance. Gunna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-ju-ju-just dance.

It’s the eve of my birthday & the number 30 is about to make love to my face. It’s a kiss I have not been yearning for. I spent the earlier part of the day writing this fabulous blog. Unfortunately, Safari decided to shut down & all my wonderful words were erased. At least it can’t take away my memories dammit. My work day is almost over & I plan on taking off tomorrow & Friday as well. Nickakah is in full swing & believe me I will be discussing it really soon. I would also still like to take a blog to wax poetic on the decade that has seen me go through hairstyles, colors, women, men, jobs, cities, states, you name it. It was a time for learning things about myself & coming into my own. I remember years ago I was always attracted to older guys. Men in their 30’s just seemed to have it more together. Ofcourse that wasn’t always the truth but it was something I was attracted to. How funny it is now when I get hit on by young boys. I was reminded of me from so long ago. So here’s to hoping that I exhibit the qualities that I used to be so attracted to. Because if this is where I am in life at my thirties in seems a nice place to start. So at around 4 something in the morning it will be official. Is it any shock that I came into this world in the middle of the night? Of course not, the night time is when I’m at my most festive. Goodbye to an innocence that I will remember fondly & hello to everything that awaits me.