The Adventures of the NSP

When I was a kid, there were sooo many cartoons that I loved & obsessed over.  It started out with the Smurfs.  My fav color is blue & they ofcourse just reaked of it.  I loved Smurfette bc she was hot, had blonde hair & all the other smurfs like Handy, Hefty & all the other ones drolled over her.  I adored the fact that Vanity thought he looked so different just bc he put a flower in his hat.  I also loved Thundercats.  I wanted to be Lion-O bc he had an uncontrolable mane of red hair(much like me as a child).  He also talked to Jagga, who was the father figure that had passed away but stil managed to show up form time to time to offer advice.  I considered myself like him as well.  I even loved G.I. Joe, how this happenned I don’t know but I did.  There were plenty of others like X-Men & others but my all time fav was Masters Of the Universe.  He-Man was the original Chesea boy.  I believe I was validated when Vh1 discussed this in an I Love the 80’s episode.  I could not get enough of this show as a kid.  Evil-Lyn was my fav, adored Teela.  Once She-Ra came out & was all into that as well bc she was related to he-Man….& well bc she was fabalous & hot as hell.  Soooo, while I was at the gym working out my arms & trying to rock some abs such a funny thought came over me.  My friends & I ARE like the Masters of the Gay Universe.  A couple of blogs ago I talked about action figures & what we would be.  Well now that I’ve had some time to think about it I came up with some nifty ones about a lot of you.  So get ready, welcome to the world of Nick aka Devin aka Poison Ivy.  Fabalous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword & said, "By the power of Manhattan!!!" At this point my hair gets blonder, I become tanner, & I have hardley any clothes on.  "I HAVE THE POWER!"  The characters in my world consit of so many.  Some of these include……

• Rob aka Evan aka The Black Widow.  He’s totes my brother & we share many of the same powers.  A fellow tanorexic & can mean girl more than anyone I know.  His powers are limitless!  His action figure comes with cool hat, cig’s, a shot glass & an itty bitty dog named Chip
• Brad.  He’s like the Scorceress & Jean Grey.  His powers include casting spells & making forcefields with his mind.  We share similar telekinetic powers. + he’s way hot!
• Larry aka Sexual Chocolate aka Diva Do Right.  His powers include being able to listen to a hot mess & make it better. A true GGB(Ghetto Gay Bitch) whose action figure comes with knife & dressed for success.  Other special powers include being able to work a room like no other.  Def one of my partners in crime.  We do battle against GGGB’s(Guilty Ghetto Gay Bitches). 
• Nathan aka Bree to the inth degree!  The hostest with the mostest.  The mother figure of the crew.  He’s the one that always want to take care of someone if their hurt….emotionally, physically, just plain hurt.  His action figure comes with a bible & a hot car.  Def a force to be reckoned with.
• EJ.  Another fellow GGB.  Fav phrase, "Hakuna Matata".  Unless provoked & then he’s ready to hand out ass whoopins by the second. He’s like Man At Arms being that he’s a jack of all trades.  The major travelor of the crew.  You never know where he’s going to or coming from.  Has the ability to speak many different languages. His action figure comes with a basketball, a tennis raquet & oh yeah a knife.
• Jude.  Quiet & sometimes reserved.  BUT like Cyclops he can give a stare that will melt you down to the floor in a brief second.  With model like poses can get any white boy to ask him for a threesome. His action figure comes with 28 inch designer labeled jeans that were given to him by Dolce & Gabana.  Hint they most likely asked him for a 3some!
• Jaime aka Da Big Baybuh.  Comes from Special Latin Forces & a very very special member of the GGB’s. Able to cut a bitch in 3 clicks w/out ever spilling his drink.  His action figure comes with spiky blue tipped hair, some Jackie O’s & a parasol.  The parasol can also be used as a weapon, watch out!  While He-Man has Battle Cat, Jaime & I both share custody of Mistress Mickey….a bad ass mouse that we will never be able to get rid of!
• Tameika.  The first Lady of the GGB’s.  She’s the She-Ra bc she is my sister from another mother.  We share many of the same powers.  She looks hot in whatever she wears.  Seriously brings all the boys to her yard.  A definite force to be reckoned with.  Her action figure comes with just as many different hairstyles as mine does.
• Chase aka The Bodyguard.  He has the ability to make girls & boys alike swoon.  But its true you can’t help but love this wonderful character.  His special powers include being able to push through the way so we can tear up a dance floor.  Other powers include knowledge of all remixes & who does them.  His action figure is too big for the box.

These are just a few of the characters in the Masters of the Gay Universe.  There are sooo many more. Join us on our adventures of going to all the scenes in this wonderful land of Manhattan.  Join us as we hang out with the Glamazons & the Mean Girls of DC.  Other speical characters will be revealed in future episodes.  Watch as we do battle against evil doers & GGGB’s.  Watch as we have sexual shenanigans with really hot boys.  Thats my favorite part. 

And just like the way Masters ended its show with a life learned lesson I leave you with this…….’Hmmm I feel like putting plastic in your booty is just wrong.’

Well people it was def one helluva Pride weekend here in NYC.  If you’ve been waiting for me to write a nice, calm blog about how I’ve sit around & collected my thoughts….well don’t read this one.  In the past few weeks this ‘Carrie’ has played with his inner ‘Samantha’. Ok so I know, a few months is more like it, but lets just talk about the past few weeks alright?  Cue music…

I got brass in pocket….I am gonna use it….I’m special, so special….I gotta have some of your attention…GIve it to me….I’m gonna use my arms/I’m gonna use my legs/I’m gonna use my style/I’m gonna use my senses/I’m use my fingers/Gonna use my, my, my imagination…..Oh! Cause I’m gonna make a scene, there’s nobody else here, there’s no one like me….Gonna make you notice

I guess we could take this back to DC where me & the DC crews literally gave it to the fans.  After coming back I met a wonderful sweet southern guy named Philip.  He’s friends with one of my besties.  He was only here for a limited time only so I can more or less call this my southen boy love affair.  I had forgot just how charming southerners can be.  Forgetting that I come from there myself, I’ve become so in the NY way of asking for what you want ever so bluntly.  Philip says I should take my tour down to the south but not really sure if the fans down there are ready.  Hell my fans up here kind of cringe about the things that happen up here.  I love how I can go from complete angel to bad boy in 5 seconds.  At least I’m not getting the whole when are you gonna settle down question.  I’m pretty sure its established what phase I’m going through at the moment.  Not to say that there haven’t been boys that I would not date.  (Antonio, Antonio…where for art thou Antonio?)  Sometimes things just play theirself out or sometimes they are just put on hold. Sometimes the network executives just don’t think its time for you & a certain other.  Guess we’ll just have to wait & see.  Cue more music…..

Something’s missing & I don’t know why/ I always feel the need to hide my feelings from you/ Is it me or you that I’m afraid of/ I tell myself I’ll show you what I’m made of/ Can’t bring myself to let you go/ Something’s happenned & I can’t go back/ I fall apart everytime you hand your heart out to me/ What happens now/ I know I don’t deserve you/ I wonder how I’m ever gonna hurt you/ Can’t bring myself to let you go

So let’s kick it to Pride. The week where all things gay is blown up & in your face like a blow up doll waiting to be fucked in the mouth.  Sorry for the bluntness but remember what I said earlier about NYer’s?  I saw my friend Scott do his first show at Carolines.  IT was wonderful, everyone who sang was sooo talented.  Even Hal Sparks showed up looking like a dirty east village boy with a mohawk & all.  I guess after being on Queer As Folk he def knows how to work the gays!  Then Thursday came & a party that I have to say I have about 70% fun at bc there always seems to be something that happens.  I continually run into people I don’t want to run into.  I supose I must be glutton for punishment.  There was a slight problem over a boy & to this I say a boy! Just in case anyone doesn’t know I normally like them around my age or a bit older.  I don’t go after the young ones.  Well there was a small problem that a friend of mine thought I was going after his stake & claim.  How often does this happen boys & men & girls?  ALL the time.  So you just have to deal with it I supose.  But let me just reiterate….the…boy’s….NOT….Mine.

So Friday, my crew of Rob, Nathan, Fort, Andy…a whole lot make our way down to Boysroom for some rocking good times.  There I was at the bar w/ Andy when the shot boys spilled tequilla on us & I ended up taking my shirt off & having the tequilla licked off me.  It was the picture of pride I tell ya! Priceless.  I also ran into this cute guy that I’ve known for quite sometime.  We’ve flirted on toomany occasions but by now its like an unrequieted love thing.  Also lets remember I have a short attention span but I do love to flirt!  After having like 4 tequilla shots from the shot boys(for free) I felt the need to get in the cage they have downstairs where I surely worked it out to Naughty Girl & How Many Licks.  I guess we can say those 2 WERE the theme songs for that night.  I did meet a guy, yes he was hot, rather large equipment, & no I did not sleep at my house.  That is all the network exec’s will allow me to say at this time.

Bad Boy drunk by six/ Kissing someone elses lips/ Smoked too many cigarettes today/ I’m not happy when I act this way/ Tonight I’ll be your naughty boy/ Calling all my boys/ Wanna turn this party out/ I know you want my body/ How many licks does it take til ya get to the center of my OH OH!

So if this were a movie the obligatory sex scene would have just taken place & you would have got an ass shot from me. No full frontal bc like Sarah Jessica I have an agreement that says no full frontal nude shots.  Mind you if this were a horror movie my character would have probably been killed right after for being a dirty whore.  Luckily this ain’t it!  So Sat night my bestie Rob had a party where this one kid spilled his drink 3 times, 3 different occasions.  Yeah someone was seriously bout to hold my baby bc he was bout to get cut tha fuck up.  Tee hee!  J/k We had fun though & took some serious prom pictures that were hot.  I even gave a centerfold pose while lying on the bed.  The network exec’s deleted those pix though since I’m not trying to be like Paris.  I’ll get famous for actually being talented thank you very much.  So later, the party when its separate ways & me & some of the boys went to Roxy where we danced for 7 hrs. My abs were feeling like Janet circa 93 after all that.

I got home around 7ish then slept for a few hrs & got up to go to Nathan’s brunch b4 the parade.  Nathan u r so Bree I love u to death.  The parade was fun what little we saw of it bc we kept going back & forth from the parade to his house.  Drinking the whole time.  Chris(Michael’s bf) showed up with a ruby red slipper that he was carrying around.  Literally the picture of pride I tell ya.  But the few str8 people there at Nathan’s were taken back a bit.  It was funny.  Rob was blowing on his whistle at people walking by.  Nathan was trying to make sure everyone was happy & also having his own affair with Farhad.  Fort & Andy were being picture perfect lesbians which I have decided the phrase is now pronounced lee’s bee unz.  I ofcourse had my shirt off the minute we got there.  Hey! I don’t like to sweat alright….and I also like to show off my perky bosoms.  Which these old guys kept taking pictures of. Once I find them I will need to be paid residual checks for any publishing that may occur. Later on we ended up at this party where the set(apt) was amazing. Complete with outside patio & little fish pond & a tent like place that appeared to have a bed or something.  As for the cast, kind of lame.  Their show is never gonna be picked up by a network.  Then somehow we ended up at the Eagle of all places. AHH!!  So ok I know I said I like them older but good grief Charlie Brown. I went to go to the bathroom(more like potty) & Grandpa Munster was surely trying to spank my back door.  All of a sudden I’m like Ludacris screaming Get Back Get back you don’t know me like that!  Shortly after I bounced not saying goodbye to anyone.  So then I went to Avalon w/ Ej, Jude & Will & was sweating like a dirty whore in a gang bang after an hour.  Fun & good times.  The most action I got was this lil Asian girl telling me that I was the hottest guy she’d seen & if I gave her 5 minutes she could turn me str8.  Priceless.  Finally my dancing legs could take no more & I went home.  And for the past 2 days I’ve been in recovery mode.  Honestly people….this weekend I will remain calm…there will be no shenanigans…I will keep my hands to myself…& my arms & legs inside the vehicle at all times.  Mind you today is just Wednesday though       

Don’t cry for me all you drunk faggots/The truth is I never left you/All through my wild days/My mad existence/I kept my promise/Stalkers keeps your distance

Picture it….Friday night….Chelsea….a few friends getting together to have shenanigans, get drunk, talk to faggots.  This could be pretty much ANY night with our group or your group or anyone’s group for that matter.  So we all know we can relate.  Its been a hot minute since I last wrote so let me see if I can sum up whats been going on.  A horoscope of mine said that if I were a superhero…my name would be Captain Goodtimes.  This made me giggle bc first I was like, "what do you mean if I were a superhero?  I am!"  I think we all know my action figure would be dressed in a tight tank top & jeans that would be advertising brand new hotness.  And who could forget….real hair that you could change to what ever color works at the moment.  Now I just need an endorsement.  But anyway back to Captain Goodtimes. It said that wherever I go & whoever I am with we make it our life goal to have fun & make that moment the best.  Its no lie I adore my friends & Lord knows they’re all quite a cast of characters.  Now this is when you the reader come in with some input.  I could sit here & describe each of you & what I think your action figure would be but I’m feeling a tad lazy.  So, help me out & put a comment on here.  This is when you can talk yourself up.  Bc you know you want to!  So just tell me what you want whatchu really really want!

1. Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears
2. Mr.Brightside by The Killers
3. Extraordinary by Liz Phair
4. Mickey by Toni Basil *
5. Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
6. Into The Groove by Madonna
7. Control by Janet
8. Step By Step by Whitney Houston
9. Petals by Mariah Carey
10. You Get What You Give by New Radicals
11. Help by The Beatles
12. Keep It Together by Madonna
13. Almost Doesn’t Count by Brandy
14. Me, Myself & I by Beyonce
15. Love Affair by Kylie Minogue
16. Fastlove by George Michael
17. I’ll Be There by The Escape Club **
18. You Learn by Alanis Morissette
19. Milkshake by Kelis
20. Don’t Cha by The Pussycat Dolls & Busta Rhymes
21. Soak Up The Sun by Sheryl Crow
22. Lose My Breath by Destiny’s Child
23. What You Waiting For? by Gwen Stefani

There were quite a few I left off but these say the most about what would be on the soundtrack to the film of my life so far.  Each fits in really well from the moment I took my first breath until now. 

* Please picture a 3 yr old little hotness running around in his underwear singing this song but changing it to Nicky.  They shoulda known then what was in store wink wink!

**This song is dedicated to the wonderful memory of my grandmother.  Love & miss you always always.

Nick, where the hell have you been?  That seems to be the question I’ve been hearing a lot since I haven’t written anything in a hot minute.  Its now been 2 weeks that I’ve not been working.  Its been a very calming, nurturing & nice time I must say.  There’s been a lot that has happenned in this time.  I’ve had a bit of spontaneity in my life & I always love it.  Out of the blue going to Six Flags which was a blast & also seeing Wicked which I have wanted to see for a while.  I saw at least 3 people I knew in it so it was quite inspiring to see them doing what they came here to do.  All of a sudden I’ve been running into people that I haven’t seen in yrs & they’re all doing these wonderful things in te enterainment industry.  I myself am working on that part as well.  As soon as something comes up I’ll be writing all about it, forcing everyone I know to come see me in whatever…..so don’t worry, you’l know all about it!  A nice thing happenned in my dance class the other day.  My teacher who is choreographing the opening & closing numbers in Broadway Bares pulled me aside.  He asked if I planned on auditioning again & I told him of what was recently going on.  Then he said that he had noticed a change in me recently.  He said I’ve seen you get your passion back while you dance & when you’re ‘on’ people can’t help but watch you. He also said a few other things but I’ll save this, I don’t wanna sound like a conceited ass but I will say that this was the nicest thing for me.  It’s one thing to say hey I’m gonna do this but its another to have other people see a change in you. Its wonderful actually. 

Anyone who lives here can attest to the fact that we are surely having some hot hot summer weather right now.  As I walk the streets dropping off resume’s anywhere & everywhere….I have been sweating like a dirrty dirrty whore in a gang bang getting paid mucho mucho dolares!  We had the hottest day here in the past 2 yrs the other day, well thats at least what they said on NY 1 which I live for.  I’ve also been living for the View & I’ve also been able to watch my stories(DOOL) as I eat my lunch.  I almost sound like a housewife.  Hmmm, not desperate(yet)…barely in a house(apt) & I’m the farthest thing from a wife.  Also a new change is that since its summer I’m back to blonde so if you notice me a little ditzier, its just the bleach talking.  As soon as there’s new pics I’ll put them on bc quite honestly I’m over that pic of me & my new bestie Usher.  There are new pix of me on Big Daddy’s Fster page though.  I’m shirtless in these & I really wasn’t prepared for BD to blast me on his photo album section but really I can’t hate tee hee! 

This weekend is most likely gonna be bananas & I can’t wait.  In a few hrs I leave with Nathan & EJ to go down to DC for Pride there.  I’m quite interested to see what its like down there.  Can’t wait to see the whole DC crew.  The only thing missing will be my Ev…..its not gonna be the same as you know I live for you.  But its def time to bring the hotness down to DC.  Hopefully this time there will be no trips to the hospital.  I’ll be like Mariah having someone hold my hand as I descend the stairs.  So until I get back much love to everyone I haven’t talked to yet.  Its the brand new hotness signing off!