The Adventures of the NSP

Well folks at the beginning of this year I said that my slogan was gonna be ‘A Life Remixed in ‘06′ & to be honest sometimes its just too damn scary about how psychic I can really be.  The events leading up to now is strangely odd & but also very telling.  As I’ve stated before I am back with Jordan & yes we have some moments but quite seriously… what couple does get along every minute of the day?  Last week my friend Sebastien took me to see Avenue Q, a show that I’ve been wanting to see for quite some time.  I lived in the theater district for 5 1/2 yrs but very randomly saw any shows.  I ended up absolutely loving Avenue Q.  There were so many things that I could contribute to my life from it.  My favorite was a character asking himself what is my purpose?  Which is something that has been nagging the hell out of me for months now.  There are all things that we need to learn & do in life & some of us just do it at different times.  Sometimes you just get into slumps of doing one certain thing or going to the same places or even behaving in a certain way.  Reading over past blogs they kind of run into each other for a while of partying & going to the Roxy & being scandalous.  No regrets mind you but I’ve been feeling the need for a change.  Although lets please note…part of this reaction is bc I have still not received my Gold card which allows me free admission.  Beto must really hate me & why I don’t know since everyone else in my group has one! 

Ok now that that has been said back to the subject at hand.  (No seriously, what do you think of me?) Another thing that I found myself getting into a slump over was my attitude about relationships.  The idea is a bit scary & saying you’re gonna be with one certain person is kind of scary.  I say this not meaning that oops!  now I can’t be a slut!  But really meaning, now my heart is in this person’s hands.  But then there are just things people do to you that make you go, "Hey!  This person really loves me & they want everything I have to offer."  Please, wouldn’t we all rather have that then someone going, "Hmmm…I’m sorry, were you talking to me?  I was paying attention to that guy over there." 

So now let me get up to this past weekend.  On Saturday night…Jordan, Tom, Jude & Jason came over to my apt for some drinks & to hang out.  Any of you that KNOW me or have been to my house for a hot minute know about the wonderful wizard of Oz.  He’s the roomie & the person who’s been living in that apt since the 80’s.  Now over this time his family was able to secure the rent be stabilized which means the rent for this apt was incredibly cheap.  So cheap rent=Nick staying for 5 1/2 yrs.  Cheap rent for a NY apt does not come easy & when one gets it one tries to keep it.  Remember the episode of Sex & the City where Carrie is looking for new apts in her price range?  Nuff said.  So yes having a huge room to myself on 47th st in the heart of everything was wonderful but it did have its own price ladies & gentlemen.  A price that sometimes became too unbearable.  It was no secret what my roomies ‘real’ job is.  He would gladly tell you out loud or many of you even would see his clients coming or going.  For the former you can insert your own sexual innuendo.  Originally, I was bothered by what would go on sometimes in the apt but its interesting how over time you find yourself numb to it.  I even found myself becoming a pimp in my own way.  Telling him, "Well, in order to help pay for cable etc you’re gonna have to do x, y & z with Tom, Dick or Harry!"  All I knew was that the bills weren’t gonna pay for themself & me helping him in that was a lot easier than me helping him to get a job.  The man has been fired out of all the music stores in Manhattan & other jobs as well.  Upstanding employee he ain’t peeps.  His crazy ways forever got him into trouble. 

Now with all that being said I don’t wanna totally say I hated living with him.  He def has his ways of being nice & quite honestly became like a brother to me.  A brother that I would like to slap the shit out of every now & then.  So as we’re all hangin out trying to make it a night of not going out & spending money we don’t have…I was doing my duties of DJ Nicky Nick.  My friend Tom says, "Ooo play Tina Arena for me."  Now I don’t have that cd but Oz did & being that I’m the only one he trusts with his cds I go to get it.  I play the song & then put it back & he comes knocking at the door complaining that it smells of cologne.  We start to argue about how it doesn’t & how I don’t like him in my room stinking up my room by not wearing deoderant.  Then I go to my room & slam the door & he comes bursting in & physically hits me.  At this point its on. I’m in full on ‘Hold my baby Tyrone’ mode & start hitting too.  Jordan is yelling for it to stop or he’s gonna call the police.  Well he does & they show up.  Oz is telling his side of the cologne is on my cd.  The police are literally laughing & saying do you realize how much other stuff is going on right now.  The whole moment was ridiculous & I’m still baffled at how it happenned.  But most importantly it was the wake up call to get the fuck out. 

I could no longer live in the craziness of that apt.  The  memories of past roommates & forever worried that we may be evicted bc of him not paying bills & instead buying cds/dvds lingered in my brain.  Then Jordan says, "I don’t want you living here anymore, move in with me."  So on Monday I spent packing ALL my stuff.  Over 5 1/2 yrs time I accumulated a lot.  A lot was thrown out.  On Tuesday we moved.  Much thanks & gratitude to Dawne’s mom for letting us use her SUV.  In 3 trips we got all that we needed to.  After the first trip Oz told me of how sorry he was for acting the way he did & he wished it could be changed.  Our other roomie David said, "It’s too late."  Oz began to cry.  But David was right, when you do things that are wrong you pay a price.  In many ways you pay a price for everything you do.  Its like Option A has this payment plan & Option B has this.  Well my payment plan was up a long time ago & I somehow stayed. 

So now for the past few days Jordan & I have just been trying to make room & set up everything in where it needs to go.  People keep asking whats been going on & a lot of people seemed shocked that for the first time I am living with a significant other.  Whats funny is in my head I always said to myself that I’ll stay in 323 West 47th st apt 2B until I can afford to live on my own or when I am with someone that I truly love & can see myself living with.  (cue music to For Once In My Life by Stevie Wonder) Well like I said its odd how right I am at times.  I swear I need to open my own psychic hotline. So call me now for your free reading.  Mmm, scratch that idea… a broke mofo like me can’t be giving shit out for free.  BUT I’m sure we can arrange some kind of something.  Jordan & I will be letting you know where we’re registered. You can also send donations our way.  We’ll need em.  AND before I get the ‘Be prepared for you two to sometimes fight speech’ let me just say can we hold off on that until I get all my boxes unpacked.  At press time not even ALL of my music collection has been properly displayed. 

Which brings me to this.  With all my music & all his lighting & fog machines it does look like a club in there.  So let me not worry about getting that gold card to Roxy.  We goin open our own damn club!  Email me & I’ll let you know about guestlist & what not.  Adam(Betty Ford) will operate the door aka velvet rope.  Jordan will do lighting sometimes drinks.  Chase will be a bouncer.  Nathan, you can do drunken crowd control which means make sure no one spills anything.  Tom will be Couple Counselor in the VIP bedroom also dancer choreographer.  Jude will do model poses.  Brad will wear his pants incredibly low showing his crack aka go-go boy.  Jason will do what he does best & be Jason.  Vadim will act as fashion consultant or be in need of consulting(according to that bitchy website).  As for me, I’ll act as Dj, sometimes go-go boy/performer/bartender but most importantly STILL giving it to the fans!  Thats the one part of me that will always be ladies & gents. 

First off, let me start by saying hello to all my Friendsters & Myspacers!  Plenty of you have been asking about the blogs & whats been going on.  So naturally I’ve been banging my head trying to think of just what the hell I wanted to talk about.  Nothing but the best right?  I’ve been re-reading some of the old posts today just seeing how my life has shaped up in the past yr.  Oh my is what I have to say.  I know I went through it in the last entry but its starting to fully absorb now in my brain.  This month has found me continuing to live in the world of a temp.  Good grief, I swear sometimes its like, "Ring, ring ring goes the telephone" then at times its like, "How come you don’t call me…anymore."  Its like fricking auditions in a way.  How I hate having my life in the hands of this girl at a temp agency.  Sometimes I’m like, "Girl….I know you got some jobs now give it up!"  Then others its like, "Ooo honey I live for you!  Seriosuly call me every 5 minutes…even during my peaktime minutes!" 

By working as a temp I’ve had the chance to work at many different places which can be highly interesting.  I’ve been at Ad agencies, Publishing places, PR firms, medical offices.  I’ve been running the gament so to speak.  Naturally I’ve been able to be the cool temp guy who’s here for a hot minute then rocks it somewhere else.  I’ve met a slew of different people.  Mostly they’ve been cool.  Whats been interesting is seeing how other people react to one another.  At the medical office I was literally cracking up over this girl who lets just say is big boned.  She was telling me about how she doesn’t like it when you’re with someone ordering dessert & they don’t order & then when she gets hers they want some of it.  She was like, "No! Get your own damn dessert!"  In my head I’m like, "Go on big girl!  Fuck them skinny bitches.  You eat ur buffet & errrrbody elses honey!"  Then when it came time for lunch I made sure to not be around her bc I didn’t wanna draw back a nub.  In the same office I met another woman who singlehandedly was trying to bring back the shoulder pad look.  Hmmm…I know its ‘06 & all but do we seriously need to go back to Golden Girls circa 1980’s?  I mean thats what Lifetime is for when you’re about to go to bed & you feel the need to reminisce about Rose’s stupidity, Dorothy’s manly ways, Sophia’s stories & Blanche’s sluttiness.  I know y’all feel me on that one.

One of the last few places I was at was interesting bc I kept having people go…"So…what school do you go to?"  I’m like, "I dont."  Then they look puzzled.  Then, "Oh.  Well what do you also do?"  I’m like…singer/dancer/actor/blah fucking blah now go away so I can answer this phone."  Then to hear the resounding Ooooo!  I’m like mmmhmm now step kindly away from the desk.  Then there have been a couple of people(men & women!) that’s even tried the whole hmmm lets hit on the temp guy.  In my head I’m like, "Are you working me Wilma!?  You can go ahead & pass go & don’t collect $200 bc I’ll be needing it later!"  But I digress, let me take that back.  We all know I’m attention whore.  If theres one thing that hasn’t ever changed it would be that.  As I look on Fster today my profile views have gone up to 1300 something & I’m ever so excited.  The most ever has been 1900 something.  That month the brand new hotness was seriously on!  I love the fact that Friendster can show you who viewed you.  I find it very interesting & if I view you, you’ll know it bc I’ve thrown my annonymity to the wind ages ago.  Its kind of funny, I’ve been noticing my fan base is becoming more & more from DC.  Chuck are you already handing out flyers with Licious writen on it telling people about the upcoming Roxy event?  If so get it get it bc I’ve been doing the same promo’s here haha.  On Myspace it seems my fan base is ever growing of the young teenage boy persuasion.  Classic messages of "Can I see your dick?" always amuse me.  Especially when the profile says st8 & the comments on their page are like, "Can’t wait to see you in 2nd period!"  In my head I’m like, "FUCK!  I haven’t been in 2nd period since the 90’s!"  Oh to be young, dumb & full of cum!  Well at least I can take solace in the fact that I still look young.  To Adrienne & Shannon I know y’all are mad feeling me. 

I recently rewatched Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion which is one of my fav films & it dawned on me.  Dammit my high school reunion will be coming later this yr.  I ofcourse had a small breakdown.  Hmmm to go back to all that.  Then to think of some of those pics from the ’st8′ boys on myspace looking all jockish & such wanting to see my dick or if I would hook up with them.  My my my.  Now if things like that would have happenned back when I was that age I may have not been so virginal then.  Its one helluva journey ain’t it.  It also had me thinking about how some gay men are portrayed.  During this whole discovering process we’re normally not able to be ourself or don’t even know…in some of our cases.  So when we do start to get into that in our 20’s, is it such a wonder that we can become bitchy or catty or completely whory?  Bc seriously once you can start having sex that is fun its like ooo ooo can’t get enough of your love baby!  And yours & yours & yours! 

Well now that I’m all flustered here at my temp desk & answering phones with my best how can I help you voice…how is errrrbody else feeling today?  How do you feel about me?  Haha!  So thats just a lil bit of whats been going on in the fabulous life of Nick Padron.  I’m also getting ready to shoot this lil indie that could film by Ej.  Can’t wait, it’ll be nice to be givng it to the fans on camera again.  Just me continuing to try to bring it full circle & remember just what it was like to be that young boy that had a dream.  Wasn’t sure how he was gonna do it but still…he was gonna do it.

2005….the year in review….& no I didn’t mean to say my rear end review.  Although plenty of you have checked out those pics that I put on Friendster & Myspace recently.  I’ve definitely heard your reviews on those & lived for the comments.  Yes I will admit once again, I am an attention whore.  I live for you all & call me every 5 minutes after 9pm or on the weekends!  So with that being said &  now that all the dust has settled from the Xmas & New Yr season, I’m taking stock of the events of ‘05.  At the beginning of the yr I called it ‘Coming Alive in 2005′.  Coming to the close of it, I couldn’t help but think that somehow the title shifted to ‘We Trying To Stay Alive in 2005′.  Some people were lost, some left, friendships started & some were broken.  Relationships started, some fell apart, but I can get into all this later.  One of my resolutions was to travel a lot more.  As you all know, for me getting my ass on the train & going off to Brooklyn was considered traveling.  But I found myself going to places that I’d never been before & learning things that I wasn’t quite prepared for.  As I look back on the 37 entries that I’ve posted, I can’t help but see some growth & then even things becoming full circle. 

January found me in the midst of a relationship.  It was also the marking of one of my besties’ 30th bday.  To celebrate… 3 couples got together & took a limo ride throughout the city.  We drank champaigne, toasted a new yr & ate the hell out of my brownies(pretty much the only thing I can make well).  It was a wonderful experience.  February…the month of love.  It was the first time I was really with someone for Valentines Day.  I had put a list on Fster saying my top love songs.  Shortly thereafter a cd was messengered to me from my boy.  With almost all the songs on it.  It was beautiful.  I found myslef being surprised about how I was in a relationship that was lasting.  It was like we had to celebrate each month on the 24th.  It was like another month that we were still together.  In my head I was like wow, Nick…you’re staying in something.  You see it’d been a long, long time since I was in a relationship.  I was very bitter for a while.  But honestly people mid 20’s is still too young to become so bitter.  It makes you look older.  Didn’t wanna keep that up.  Besides I didn’t nickname myself the brand new hotness for nothing!

The next month was dubbed March Madness.  Seriously bc it found the beginning of my traveling.  The first week I was on MTV’s TRL bc I wanted to see Mariah Carey.  She was gonna be on to promote her new song coming out.  I dragged my friend Tameika with me.  I was just excited to see Mariah & that she shook my hand.  All of this you can see on the tape.  But that ended up being second best to what then happenned.  My friend & I won a trip to fly to Puerto Rico to see Usher perform & then meet him after the show.  For us it was a classic tv moment.  Mark my words when the both of us are famous, this will be brought up on some tv show.  Us jumping around like crazy people.  But the trip was amazing.  I’d never been there & it was really beautiful & Usher was actually really cool with us.  I came back to NYC so refreshed & tan.  It was ever so nice & being driven around in a limo was absolutely fabalous.  A week later I took a trip down to Wilmington, NC to be reunited with my old NC besties.  I also took my bf, a first for me.  We had an excellent time & it was awesome being able to see them all again.  Sometimes you need to be reminded of where you came from to re-appreciate where you’ve gotten to.  I also got to drive around.  Something that was at first fun but then after a day I was like ok, can’t I just walk there & then it was also like…hmmm I can’t get drunk & stumble into a cab or a train.  Oh how I love New York.  Came back to my city I loved & worked for like a week when I decided to take a trip to DC with one of my besties Rob.  The DC trip was somehow the change in a lot of things.  I’d been realizing I wasn’t happy with what was going on in my relationship.  There were good things ofcourse but the fights were becoming too much & too often.  But somehow I was like nevermind it will work out.  So we went to the clubs in DC & had a ball.  The NY boys & the DC boys tore the floor up.  Then something happenned that I wasn’t prepared for.  Having a spark with someone else that wasn’t my bf.  The chance to cheat can hit you at any time really.  Hell, plenty of men in relationships def don’t act like they’re fanatics about it.  If I had a dollar for every time guys with bfs that wanted to hook up with me…well lets just say it’d be a lot of dollars.  But I’ve always felt that I didn’t want to be one of those guys.  I’ve felt like if I am in a relationship & I find myself in that position, then I may need to re-evaluate whats going on.  I’ve seen firsthand what happens in those experiences.  Mmm, I’ve also played a role in it but thats 2004 in review.  Another story people.  So to answer the question that you’re wondering…no, I didn’t cheat.  Instead I ended up falling down some stairs & dislocating my shoulder.  In my head, I’m like yeah I’m being punished bc of impure thoughts & for almost being a wicked boy.  That southern baptist/catholic thing rears its ugly head at the most dangerous of times.  So I came back to NY in a sling & returned to my bf who was going absolutely crazy & saying I should have never gone.  It was something I didn’t wanna hear. 

April found me healing from physical & emotional pain it seemed.  Mariah told the world that she was Mimi & that she was emancipated.  Friends were asking me what was wrong with me.  It had become clear that things were wrong.  So on the 8th(a Friday night) a big scene was created at xL & my relationship was over.  Angry things were said from both sides like so many times before but this time it wasn’t gonna be made better with ‘I’m Sorry.’  From either end. I played the hell out of Mimi’s cd & my own blog declared the Emancipation of Nicky. 

In May I had decided that to coincide with all things new in my life, I needed a new job.  I’d been working at NYSC for yrs & going there everyday was becoming worse & worse.  This was Take Back My Life Part 5.  So by the end of the month I quit saying that I needed to leave for a family emergency.  I mean, seriously a boy still needed a free gym membership for God’s sake.  I’d also ammassed all these vacation hrs that I wanted to make sure I got paid for.  I’d seen how they treat people when they find out that their not happy at work anymore & dammit I’m smarter than that.  For Memorial Day weekend me & my boys decided to go to Fire Island since none of us had ever been.  It was fun & the boys were crazy.  The house was like a gay frat house but can’t any house on Fire Island be called that.  Point made. 

So now its summer & I should just basically say it was the summer of freedom for me.  Not having to work, a man of leisure.  It felt wonderful.  I was like I’ll be able to find a job, no problem.  I’d had some money saved & I was like I’ll use this time to do more things that I wanna do.  So I made my return to DC for their pride.  Saw my DC boys & had a ball.  In case some of you are wondering…that boy I almost cheated with…nope didn’t even see him.  Isn’t it weird the way some people come in your life for a hot minute then just like that they’re gone?  Uh huh I know.  So back to summer.  The last day of July was bday & it was spent absolutely crazy.  It was weird for me bc for many yrs I never thought that I would make it to 27.  My dad had died when he was 26 & well lets just leave it at that.  This summer also found me being more sexually active than ever.  I decided to just kind of hang up my hang ups & explore my inner Samantha.  Blonde, tan & a tad muscular can add up to some craziness.  The one thing was there had been some guys that wanted more than just hot sex.  I on the other hand got freaked out with the utter mention of lets go on a date.  Meanwhile, We Belong Together was all over the airwaves & stayed at #1 for 14 weeks.  Everyone ofcourse knows the words & I couldn’t help but think of a certain someone when hearing it.  But instead I chose not to think about it.  Jobwise I had been going on a shitload of interviews & just not getting hired.  By August I had gotten a job at a restaurant/bar through my friend Tommy.  It marked my return of being in that environment but what was fabalous was us being able to drink on the job.  But then things headed south with the restaurant not making money & people’s checks bouncing(including mine) & it closed. 

So speaking of heading south, its exactly what I did in September for Labor Day weekend.  This I was able to do with someone that I was seeing.  But even it had its problems.  I somehow end up being in some of the most craziest of situations(shocker!) & relationship wise I’ve managed to be in some doozies.  At this point I think I can check off a slew of certain scenarios & certain type of men that I’ve been with.  I did have a wonderful time in Orlando & quite honestly I’ll leave it at that.  What should be said is just some things can’t work out.  After coming back from Fl I then came down with this terrible stomach flu.  Most likely you guys remember the blog devoted to shit…literally.  No need for me to go back to it.  But many of you said it was the funniest thing you read.  Always good to know that my life manages to keep people watching & talking.  The network exec’s & nicks management team gets all excited about it haha. 

October was the time for me to all of a sudden be ok with certain ex bf’s.  It had been happenning but it marked a time of me seeing people that I hadn’t seen in 2 yrs.  Serious bizness mind you.  It also marked a return of some besties coming back into my life after they’d been away.  Even me & the ex that I’d emanciapted myself from found ourselves being able to be cool again.  No fights was something that I wasn’t use to.  Also during this time I got to see my idol get into the groove on the Roxy stage.  As you all remember I devoted a blog to her.  It was a wonderful experience.  What I had not said at the time was that I had made it in & was determined to get to the stage & I didn’t even care if I found any of my friends.  In a funny coincidence I ended up being right next to my ex.  The way things happen is weird & sometimes unexplainable. 

November found me working much more in the MTV world thanks to my friend Kelly(much luv) & still trying to interview like noones bizness.  It also marked some group dynamic changes.  I was realizing that my life was being judged a little more than I wanted it to be.  I’ve talked about this in the last few blogs so I don’t really need to say anythign else about it.  I have found myself telling much less of things that go on in my life.  This is def the longest of blogs that I’ve wrote & the most information that I’ve given.  But once again I’ve chose to call myself out.  Bc of the things that have gone on I know that people can relate to.  There ARE a lot of people on my list here & its funny for me when I get messages from people that I don’t even know saying something about what I wrote in a blog.  I def don’t consider myself to be any great writer but I def feel like I’ve had something to say.  Please, I’ve been that way since I was a kid & decided that I needed to be the one to tell everyone how we got here.  Even if my mom gave me a watered down version haha! 

But damn, I’m getting off topic.  December came & once again I wasn’t excited.  There was only one blog & I wasn’t motivated in telling anyone anything about my life.  My family hasn’t been too excited about Xmas for a few yrs now & this one came to be no exception.  The man that I called my step father died of a heart attack one week before Xmas.  I wasn’t able to make it down there, being kind of broke & all.  He’d been in my life since I was 6 but really only 12 yrs bc I moved out at 18.  He wasn’t ever really a father figure at all.  I didn’t hate him by no means & I def never hoped he would go like that.  What was hardest for me was talking to my sisters & hearing them cry & the same with my mom.  Somehow they’ll be ok, I have faith in that.  But it def marks another reason for Dec to kind of suck.  But I have to give incredibly large props to 2 people that made my Xmas & New Yrs a blast.  My friend Tom made this wonderful dinner & my boyfriend Jordan did everything in his power to keep a smile on my face.   They both did.  I’m not sure that they know what they mean to me but I hope this little shout out helps.  So its kind of funny the way life puts you through a ringer & how sometimes you need to take another route just in order to get back to where you were going.  For those of you that don’t know this, I should clarify. That guy that I found myself so desperately trying to emanciapte myself from…I found myself making a confession on a dancefloor with.  I hope you like that reference J.  We’ve grown a lil bit & yes there are moments.  I forever question myself about things.  Its just who I am. But now I’m like, hmm ya know what?  Sometimes you just have to say what the fuck & just go with where life is gonna take you.  If you find yourself planning too much then you miss out on whats going on today.  That goes better with my spontaneous side.  It is better to have loved than never loved at all.  And sometimes its better to let someone love you.  As of job wise I’m back to being a temp whore & as long as they can get me continuous work I’ll be happy.  Looking over some old blogs I also realize I haven’t put a soundtrack to my life in a while.  On the last one I put a song I wrote.  I was gonna put one on this one but I’ve decided to hold off.  Ya gotta keep the fans wanting more right?   So I’ll just leave with a few songs that seem to resonate with what went on in my world of ‘05.  Some of them were the jams & some are songs from back in the day.  But either way…they work for me.

1. Filthy/Gorgeous by Scissor Sisters(in ‘05 I was called both)
2. Mixed Up World by Sophie Ellis Bexter
3. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson(ya know ya luv it)
4. Outrageous by Britney Spears
5. Ride it by Geri(best pop from former Ginger Spice)
6. Listen To Yor Heart by DHT
7. Get It Together by Seal
8. I Believe In You by Kylie Minogue
9. Don’t Cha by Pussycat Dolls & Busta Rhymes
10. Spoiled by Joss Stone
11. The First Cut Is The Deepest by Sheryl Crow
12. You’re Beautiful by James Blunt
13. Cool by Gwen Stefani
14. La Tortura by Shakira & Alejandro Sanz
15. Lose Control by Missy Elliot & Ciara
16. Hung Up by Madonna
17. What About Your Friends by TLC
18. We Belong Together by Mariah Carey
19. Unbreakable by Alicia Keys
20. Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2
21. Proud by Heather Small
22. None Of Your Business by Salt N’ Pepa