The Adventures of the NSP

It’s Thursday & another different temp job.  But this one is one that I’ve been at before.  Jillian, one of my temp agents, has been telling me that I’ve been getting numerous requests from some asking if I can come back.  For me this is a good thing because it shows her that I can do jobs well.  Also, it shows that once I get one of these people fired I will have their job.  Hahaha!  Just kidding….but not really.  (Note to self:  I have been watching too much Days of Our Lives) 

For many of you, you work with the same people every day 5 days a week.  In my case I’m forever surrounded by new people.  Temping is just so much like the acting/dance world.  At times its highlarious.  What’s cool is that I can be the guy that’s there for a hot NY minute just to fill in for a job.  Reactions always seem to vary.  Sometimes its like, "Where’s _____?  I love ___!"  Then others it’s like, "Yay! Are you here to replace _____ bc I hate ___!"  By constantly being around new people I get to have what I like to call ‘Character study’.  I like to know different kind of people.  Another point of view if you will.  Its interesting to know how to push people’s buttons.  Listening to these different opinions can be highly interesting.  I use this is also the different kinds of friends I have. 

I tend to always find something interesting about everyone.  I also tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt (My friend Chase says its bc we’re southern).  You can see this by just seeing the amount of friends I have on here.  Now obvi I’m not besties with them all but I do try my best to chat with everyone on here.  I guess if you’re looking at my Myspace list you’re like, "Nick, you’re friends with nothing but shirtless boys!"  Well we all know Myspace is kind of different bc it seems to have a lot of that.  If you’re friends with one shirtless boy its highly likely that you’ll get requested or are already friends with some other shirtless boy on his list.  A thing that seems to be common amongst these pages on here is how often I come across a profile that says ’str8 acting’.  This amuses the hell out of me.  It’s like the need to show machismo.  If you’re gay, you’re not really ’str8 acting’ when you’re sucking another guys dick.  This is also something I even said to a few ’str8 guys’ that would suck mine.  Quite the mixed up world isn’t it?  It’s also funny to me when one gay guy tries to make the other feel bad for being a bottom.  It’s like the illusion of if you bottom then that makes yoe less of a man.  Well you know I like it both & I have def done my share of both.  I say if you are a power bottom & thats what you like then get it get it dammit.  If thats what gets you off then you ride until the thing falls off.  I mean geez!  All men have a spot there.  Makes you wonder right?  I remember hooking up with certain ’str8 guys’ that didn’t ‘get fucked’ & then after a while finally deciding that well hey maybe trying it once ain’t so bad.  It’s like what Monique said in the Queens of Comedy, "Every man has a lil bit of bitch in him."  So I add, "Get it bitch!  Embrace it bitch!"  (This writer takes a few minutes of break bc I’m finding myself hot & bothered)

Moving right along, this also had me thinking of the different kind of people that I’ve worked with.  Its been funny to see some guys go to flirt with me & then stop because they weren’t sure if I was or if I wasn’t….gay.  Then those that are TOTALLY gay(to those in the know, gaydar) try to read me like brail.  Just to have me be like, "Ooo!  Miss thang!  You better back up off me bc ya can’t check up on me!"  Another interesting one is when the straight men include me in the ogling of other female co-workers.  One guy was like, "Hey man, I bet you get all the girls."   Later he walked by me while I had my comp on.  Right on the page was my Myspace page.  I couldn’t help but wonder……hmmm what’s going through his head now? 

It’s this one thing thats got me wondering.  What level of gayness am I?  And does it really even matter?  I don’t watch sports & I am by no means butch.  To be around men when they are too ‘testoneroni’ makes me ill.  I’m not running around in pride shorts claiming my gayness or nothing but really.  Yes I like to dance, am an actor & I love to sing my ass off.  Uh-oh!  3 strikes, you’re gay!  I have a feeling that once I release something in America, things may be downplayed bc it will need to sell for middle America.  Then I’m like is that what I want?  Brokeback Mountain was an excellent film but c’mon.  The sex scenes did not run rampant & they’re hardly even together.  In the midwest the movie posters & promo’s has been leaving out the ‘gayness’.  Even showing more pics with just Heath & Michelle or jsut Jake & Anne.  I’m like, "Hello!!!  We’re in the yr 2006.  Why is it still not ok to be gay?"  I’ve laughed & watched Will & Grace with everyone else but it even homogenized subject matter to cater to the wider audience.  Why was it that only this season(their last) did we finally see Will kiss another man?  Also, why after Brokeback came out (after earning such rave reviews)?  This should have happenned years ago.  This is why I loved Queer As Folk.  It showed truth & went after situations unabashed & unapologetic.  Luckily we are now seeing more of this with the Logo channel (which I have been addicted to).  Hopefully it’ll just continue to grow & we’ll see more honesty, more views & more people like me. 

A few months ago I got a job working with the Human Rights Campaign.  I was excited about it because I was gonna be working on getting public funding to support gay rights to marry.  I’d be working with others who felt the same in an office, making a difference.  Well this is what I was told.  Then I was paired with a straight guy to be put on the street & in the cold weather to ask people for money.  Mind you when I see these people on the street I start chatting on my phone or I’m like, "No! I don’t have a second for Greenpeace."  I found out that a very, very small percent of the money actually went to the actual fund.  Then, when I asked the guy I was working with his views on gay subjects he didn’t really have a clue.  Then I ask, "Do you think gays should be able to marry?"  Long pause…..then, "Mmm…ok."  Meanwhile people on the street thought that we were an actual couple fighting for our rights to marry.  It was interesting to see & hear people’s reactions.  I had to bite my tongue & not get ghetto when some people said, "Piss off."  But many supported & many gave money saying that we looked like a great couple & we should be able to celebrate it.  I felt like a fraud.  Which is why I quit.  Plus, I was not about to be standing in the cold ass weather aksing people for money.  I think not Miss Thang! 

So this brings me back to wanting to see more things about people like me played by people like me.  Why is it brave for Heath & Jake to play gay?  It’s a part people.  Its not who they are.  Hell my cast of friends are just as talented & our lives are just as interesting.  Get us all together & its like the fricking gay Days of our Lives/Sex & the City/Queer As Folk rolled into one.  But who is to be the voice for a new generation?  Am I once again feeling my inner Carrie?  After all hiatus & the drama put aside maybe I am.  So now I guess I just need to put the pen to paper & start writing my story.  I wonder just who would be interested.  Would it have to go to the UK first & then be successful?  Recently I’ve felt that maybe that’s what I’d have to do considering my music.  It’s probably too dancey/pop for here but then would be all the rage over there.  Will Young, the first Pop Idol, is openly gay & 4yrs later he’s still doing quite well.  Hmmm…is London calling?  Maybe I’d be big there, well there & the Phillippines.  Those people love me.  Why else would they keep sending me Friendster smiles & asking will I be their friend? 

I realize that this blog is long but when I say something or write about it, its bc I feel strongly about it.  Even if its about shaking my ass or getting on top of a box.  Mom always said if you’re gonna do it, do it big.  So I should just finish with my level of gayness can be whatever I want it to be.  Like it or not I am me.  I can do what I want cause I can be king (Queen for all you gays that’ll try to call a bitch out.  I gotcha #’s bitch!)  All of a sudden I think of that commercial with the lil black girl that says that she wants to be an actress, an a model, a singer, a writer, a this, a that….sketch sketch blah blah.  In the immortal words of Chuckilicious….."GET IT GURL!"

Interviewer:  So what happens when the guy thats been notoriously afraid of relationships realizes that he isn’t afraid anymore? 

Nick Padron:  I don’t know….so stop asking me questions.  Alright already!  Jesus!(said as if he was native New Yorker from Brooklyn)  Why don’t you ask me about upcoming projects concerning my art?  My private life IS private? (he sounds acerbic in tone as he then says to the Hair & Make up stylist, "Do something else.  Do my eyebrows!")

Just then a faint calmness comes over his face.  He seems to remember something from days gone by & this reporter thinks that he’s cracked the surface.

Nick Padron:  I’m sorry.  Its been a rough day at work.  With that being said let me get back to some good ole sweet southern ways.  To answer your question I would say, "Darling its just as right as rain on a wonderful Sunday afternoon when your drinking Mint Julep’s out by the old oaktree listening to Big Daddy regail of stories from his hustler days in the Gay ole 70’s!"  Does that answer your question?

Its then thats when this reporter realizes that he has not cracked the surface.  But he can’t help but queitly adore this sweet southern smile that turns into a slight innocuous but devlish grin. 

I would love to be able to see your face, the reader, as you read that whole dialogue that I just made up right now!  Some of you are like what the hell is he saying?  Is he doing lines while he writes this?  To that I say no bitch!  I don’t even know what it means & I’m from the south.  I just have some free time on my hands while I’m here at work & I just wanted to make sure that I said something that would get your attention.  Being that I’m an attention whore & all.  But seriously, to get back to subjects at hand…it’s been a few weeks now since the big blow up & the move to Union Sq.  The fans are still wondering how all this happenned & how I’m acclimating to the big change.  All in all I have to say that I’m doing good.  Initially I was waiting for it to hit me like a ton of bricks.  But I’d have to say my answer is if you feel like something is right then you just end up not questioning it.  Its a funny thing to say out loud considering that I can be the king of self doubt.  But I recently finished a book called ‘Drama Queen’ & its so on target about leaving drama for the stage.  So I echo that, lets keep it there! 

The word relationship has been peppered all over conversations these past few weeks.  Some have begun, some have ended & many have just outright changed in their own way.  In manners of love & friendships.  A funny quote pops in my head.  "If you can’t say anything nice about somebody come sit by me!"  Theres that bitch Drama rap tap tapping at the chamber door.  Don’t let her in I think.  So instead let me go on with this quote, "I’d rather walk on my lips then to criticize."  End quote.  I’m getting off topic.  I think I’m catching Jordan’s ADD. (HAPPY BDAY btw!)  But to get back to that R word, some people have been clamoring for it like no ones business.  But children, desperation reads like a sore thumb.  Bitches can read it like brail.  This week has been all about Valentines Day & whether you have that right somebody or not.  Theres such a commotion placed on one day.  Shouldn’t you try to show the one you love emotion any day of the yr?  My Valentines Day was incredibly nice but thats mine to keep to myself.  Sex & The City once titled an episode ‘They Shoot Single People Don’t They?’  I also remember an episode where she sent out a thing regarding her marrying herself.  As we all know I’ve always related to Carrie.  The male version.  Hell I even have a testimonial on here from here.  Well its not her ofcourse its probably from someone overseas.  I keep getting smiles from Malaysia now so who knows.   

So as ADD is totally possessing my body, I want to say this.  As a single person I’m the brand new hotness & as a partner I am the everlasting brand new hotness.  A work in progress if you will.  I’ve been noticing certain changes in a lot of ways of thinking.  This whole Life Remixed in ‘06 is quite the pill to swallow.  A few days ago I went to automatically start a blog but then changed it.  I’ve seen both sides of the story now.  If I was playing either character I would know how that person feels.  To all my single people out there just wanting to get it get it:  go right ahead, sew those oats bc you need to.  To all my single people waiting:  don’t jump into anything just to have it.  Mr/Mrs Right will come along.  To all my fellow people in realtionships:  meet me at Home Depot then lets go to Petsmart bc soon I’ll be buying a cat! 

Just kidding on the last part but who knows maybe not…….

…..as he says with a devlish grin!