The Adventures of the NSP

It’s just another manic Monday
I wish it were a Sunday
Cause thats my fun day
I don’t have to run day
It’s just another manic monday

Here we are again folks. Back in the office on a Monday & you can see the look on everyone’s face when they come in. Its like an “Oh shit…wasn’t I just here” look that spreads across their face. Thats when you see the large cups of Starbucks. Which should be called 4Bucks bc even the smallest of whatever they call it seems to cost that. I don’t drink coffee but I know all about their talls being small & grandes looking not so grande to me. But then again I am just a greedy bitch.

This past weekend literally found me ALL over the place. The Tom Tom Club & I made appearances all over NYC. It was like we were working for Hx magazine & we were reporting about all the hot spots. On Friday night they met me at the apt where we decided to have a blonding party bc hey, roots are a bitch! I think that I have decided that the next dye job will be going brown. The bad side is then I won’t have an excuse when I say something stupid. Then again who knows. This weekend it was ALL about the blonde brigade having more fun thats for damn sure. After our blonding party we took our ambitions to Opaline for some Open Bar & all I should say, “How come every time we go there our London Bridges go down?” Because I swear the bartender that loves me must be spiking my drinks with God knows what. I’m such a gentleman but then I’m on a stage dancing like a Ho! My newest friend Andy said that its like, “Hey what time does the go-go boy come on?” Then its like oh wait, there’s Nick on stage now…..it must be time for the 2am show! Then somehow I pull a famous disappreaing act & a bitch is at home sleeping! I woke up realizing that my contacts were still in. Something I never do so thats how I knew something was up. Damn alcohol! I never want to drink again!

Grey goose got your girl feeling loose
And I’m wishing that I didn’t wear these shoes
It’s like everytime I get up on the dude
Papparazzi put my bizness in the news!

On Saturday night the Tom Tom Club & I went to this penthouse party that was actually a few blocks from where I live. Everyone who was anyone was there & it seemed we were having some pics taken every 5 minutes. Page 6 will not leave me alone! Lindsay Lohan, I know your pain. But seriously, it was a lot of fun. One highlight was when Tom was asked by the 3 random people coming out of the elevator where the party was & he starts saying oh this is here & this is there, have a great time! Later on one guy came up to him & was like, “Oh my God I’m having a great time” blah blah blah….obviously thinking it was Tom’s party. Tom ofcourse let him believe it & I’m gonna hear about how he had such a fabalous party for months to come. My other highlight was when this one random who invited him type stopped in front of us & asked if we were from Norway. So in classic Nick aka Devin form I said, “I’m from Wisconsin.” He continued to think that we were Norwegian so then next thing ya know Tom starts speaking Norwegian to him. Who the hell knew he knew how to speak it. Bitch gimme back the sharpie, its my turn to be smart! So dude looks at me & I say, “Umm….my parents wouldn’t teach me Norwegian bc I’m slow.” Then he replies, “Oh! I’m slow too!” Quick Nick think of something, anything to get away. “OMG! My phone is vibrating, I need to take this call!” Narrowly escaping this we have to say goodbye & make our way to the next scene. On to Therapy! No! I don’t mean the thing that you probably need after hanging out with us but the actual bar. Its in Hells Kitchen, where I used to live & it had been ages since I’ve been there. We were there bc of Tom’s friend visiting form Vegas. A rather cool guy & we had a good time until I noticed that it was almost 12:30. Our next venture was the Roxy. As Gold card members you get in free as long as you get in before 1am & let me remind you that I am a person that loves me some free. And in case any one reading gets confused the Tom Tom Club consists of 2 Tom’s. I have like 4 Tom’s that I know. So needless to say I am taking no more applications on friends who’s name is Tom. Thanks….Nicks management.

All my girls get down on the floor
Back to back, drop it down real low
I’m such a lady but I’m danicng like a ho
Cause you know I don’t give a fuck so here we go!

So leaving Tom with his friend from Vegas, other Tom & I make a mad dash off to Roxy. I swear sometimes finding a cab in the city can be such a bitch. But luckily we made it & got in just in time. Now just in case you don’t know, I like my jeans tight & my shirt even tighter. I hate to sweat so the minute I start to & theyre playing my jam the shirt has to come off. So let’s see…this is how it goes. I was ofcourse dancing to a perfect song for this, London Bridge & I go to drop it down real low when I hear Rip!!! Thats right my pants split rght up the back of my ass. We had barely been there 30 minutes & these pants I’ve had for forever. Another downside was the fact I was wearing no underwear. Ok don’t gimme that look, they don’t go with the jeans! So I’m looking down and you can literally see my ass! Now if I were Vadim this would be perfect coming out of his Basic Trash line. But he’s one of a kind bless his heart. I am not about to usurp his title of showing up to a club with the crotch exposed. I also didn’t want to leave, it was my favorite dj so I did what any self respecting club boy would do: I tucked my shirt in the back of my pants. So for the next 4 hrs we stayed there & Peter Rauhofer worked my body out by playing all my jams. Now did I drop it down low any the rest of the night? Nope but I still turned it out on the dancefloor. But don’t cha know Us Weekly probably has a pic of me with my ass out like they got of Lindsay showing her titties. I guess I’ll just have to wait & see ha ha. Your next question is what did you do when you left because ya can’t walk around shirtless? Well I surely walked around with a magazine covering it. I mean assless chaps are so 2003. Just ask Christina. But really, I loved these jeans & they will be highly missed. I guess you could say they were totaled so its time for a new model anyway. Once I think about it, it couldn’t be me if I wasn’t having some kind of wardrobe malfunction. I wish I could say it was the first pair that split but no its not. Whether that happenning or me having random zipper problems I swear its always something about to pop out. Hmmm maybe I should re-title this Nick Nick the Bionic Dick. Wait, I take that back because then you all will think I’ve resorted to doing porn.

Yesterday was Brunch at HK so it was back to my old stomping grounds. The Tom Tom Club, Betty Ford, Shawn, Andy & I all discussed the events of the last few nights. Tom told everyone about how his party the night before was perfect. Jordan finally showed up after being away in Fire Island all weekend. And yes it should be said we all proceeded to get drunk. Everyone reading must think that we are all lushes & what not so I will just go ahead & say, “Hi, my name is Nick & I like to drink.” “HI Nick!” Ok with that being put aside let’s get back to drinking ahem excuse me I mean the story. Next to us were these 2 straight couples that turned out to be a lot of fun. I stll can’t believe that one girls boobs were real. Its funny how if we had been a table of straight boys we probably would have been beat up bc all of us kept ogling thier gf’s. I have always been able to have an appreciation for a good set of boobs. Boobs rule the world! Hmmm ok maybe not totally for us but its good to sometimes stop & smell the roses from time to time. Tom & Andy later decided to have a playful kiss & apparently some tabel of old bitties were not amused at this. But the straight manager has always loved us & was like screw them. I guess it probably would have been out of the question if we had gotten up & had an orgy. Oh well maybe next time haha! Free drinks are over at 5pm so by 5:10 we were ready to pay & bounce over to this other place. We stayed there for a bit but then it was like a switch. Click! Ok we are done! We accidentally left one of the Tom’s & I am gonna hear about this for yrs to come. But don’t worry Tom, I had a great time at your party!

So that was my weekend and now I’m back to Monday. I still have an hour left of work. I think that a few of us are gonna go to this place in Little Italy. It sounds like a street fair kind of thing but one of our friends is working a bar or something so we definitely need to go & show our support. Honestly, I can not get drunk the way I did this weekend. What would people say? Then again in the song Fergie says, “Here we go & ya know I dont’ give a fuck!” I literally laugh out loud now…..bless my heart!

Lately I’ve been looking for something
It’s all been coming from nothing
What’s this feeling I’ve got?
It’s like all my thoughts are lost…….

This week has been tiresome. Honestly, I have started to blog & write & I’ve had some good ideas…..BUT, then its….gone. I’ve now been at the same job for the past 3 & half months. I’ve liked it but lemme tell ya summer is over! At least for us up here. All you peoples down south will read this & be like haha(like the kid in the Simpson’s) because I know you guys are still in 80 degree weather. Earlier in the week I stepped outside to make my train & there was a definite chill in the air. Literally we went from having heat advisory’s (what seems a few weeks ago) to now feeling the major hint of fall upon us. Its also been raining for the past few days & its supose to be that way tomorrow as well.

Here comes the rain agian
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion

On Monday it was the 5 yr mark of 9/11. Its hard to believe. I’ll leave my comments to a minimum being that I feel so much has been said about it already. I’ve been reading people’s blogs about it over the week. Its been interesting reading the ones of people who don’t live here. I’ve been here since March of 2000. So many emotions still come to the surface so easily. Like opening an old wound you just want to put a band aid over it immedietely. Work has kept me pretty busy so its left me distracted from it all. Its funny how that happens. Then there seems to be always something else going on the world right? Things to get our focus off such things. As in lets talk about the VMA’s. I realize that this was weeks ago but also remember I have been quiet for a hot NY. Let me start w/ the bad. Which was about 70 % of the show. Jack Black annoyed me to no end. Everyone seems like they got fat. Lil Kim I can understand, she’s been in prison for months. But I bet you anything next thing we’ll see her in(Hip Hop Honors Vh1 Nov) she’ll be exposing something! Paris looked like a hot mess. An even more mess was Brit & K Fed. It seems she just keeps getting trashier bless her heart. At least shes now had that baby. She’ll probably be preggers again in about 5 months. I was annoyed with a large part of who won the awards as well. My friend Larry was l-i-v-i-d about Kelly Clarkson winning. I wanted my girl Christina & Madonna to win at least something! I was shocked that Pussycat Dolls won best dance song. Don’t get me wrong I love that song but I didn’t think it should’ve won. But I do love me some Nicole, the lead singer just in case you don’t know. Later this fall there will be a new reality show about being the next Doll. Yes thats right join the other 5 that no one seems to know about! But anyways, I should say I loved the performances. Beyonce easily pulled off the best performance for me. Ring the Alarm is my new fav jam that I can not get enough of. Recently at a club this song came on & I had to bum rush the stage & do my interpreted dance of that perfomance. She brought some Nasty to this Rhythm Nation! Yep, thats right I went there. Janet I hope you were paying attention. This album better give it to the fans literally. Bless your heart I hate that first single Call On Me but hey it is your 15th #1 on the Billboard R&B chart! Get it girl!

My next favorite performance was Christina doing Hurt. It was pure emotion & theatrical drama. I felt like I was watching an excerpt from a Broadway show. Absolutley beautiful. Justin brought his sexy back & I can not get enough of this song. His newer one is gonna have to grow on me but his new cd def has some interesting stuff on it. Shakira may have not sounded on key the whole time but hey can you blame her? Seriously those hips do not lie! While watching it my friend Tom all of a sudden went, “Hey! Thats how Nick dances!” Yes, this is true Shakira & my hips do not ever lie. They simply give it to the fans. So those were my highlights. This weekend I will be recording stuff that I tivo’d onto a tape so I can make space on my tivo. Fo reals this will be the only thing I save from the show bc I really could NOT w/any of the rest. What I did really like was Fashion Rocks. Once again Beyonce & Christina took it home for me doing Deja Vu & Candyman. I have been digging the Scissor Sisters for quite some time now so maybe they’ll get a little love over here in the States now. But really, every performance was good. Bless Elton’s head of the Gay Mafia heart! I did have to laugh because I was eating while watching it & boy oh boy! Those models looked so hungry I thought that they would literally come out of the screen a la crazy girl from the Ring just to eat my food! The other performance I really liked was the one with Faith Hill & Tim McGraw. I heard that that had to be done a few times bc at one point he hit his head after he fell getting off the stage. But really maybe its because he is so crazy in love with her. Now they look like the couple that has it all….

So baby talk to me like lovers do
Walk with me like lovers do
I want to breeze in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

A few weeks ago I finally made the choice to go back out to Fire Island & let me tell you I was like God is trying to tell me a sign. Because all it did was rain! Any other time I stay in the city & Jordan calls being like, “Oh its beautiful! I’m getting a tan!” I go & I seriously needed galoshes & a parka because a bitch was freezing! In spite of all this I still went out again last weekend. Yes folks, I know twice in a period of 2 weeks, the world is coming to an end. So don’t blame it on war or famin or even global warming. The way the media works we’ll see me on the cover with headline saying Blame This Gay Man! But for reals, I had a nice time. We went to see this thing called Miss Fire Island Pageant. So I was watching tons of tragic drag queens strutting their stuff out on a make shift runway in a pool. Much to my disappointment, no one fell in. Dammit, see I don’t ever get anything my way. Ok so thats most likely one of the biggest lies I’ve told but ya know what its hard being popular & the Cheertator.

Music wise I’m telling everyone to pick up Beyonce’s, Christina & Justin’s cds. They are incredibly excellent. I even have to give Tom’s girl Jessica Simpson a shout out. I bought that cd for him for his bday & she has some of the best tracks she’s ever had on it. I also saw Janet’s new video for So Excited & I can already say that its growing on me for sure. Here’s to hoping that her cd 2.0. has club bangers on it. Someone else I’m exicted for is Fergie. I loved her performance on Fashion Rocks. I like that new song Fergalicious(although I’ve been calling people licious for years dammit) & I’ve been all about London Bridge since it came out. It is definitely the new Hollaback Girl! So look out for these & ooo don’t forget about Nelly Furtado’s Maneater. It went #1 in the UK months ago & I hope that it has the same success here. Last but not least I am a one man promo for Jump by Madonna. I’ve been hearing it on radio stations online. Its my favorite track off the Confessions cd & I can’t wait for the remixes. I’m just hoping American radio stations all over warm up to her again. She did not get the right amount of love for all the other singles. Meanwhile all over the rest of the world they were huge hits. Who knows these days!

Well look at that I found out what I wanted to talk about. Omg I may soon turn into that guy that does Pinkisthenewblog. I’ll report about celebrities & whats going on with them. Hmmm somehow I feel that I won’t. Just because its raining & i’m stuck inside working, don’t think that me & my VIP friends aren’t gonna go out & give it to the fans. Then you’ll be reading all about our shenanigans & how our milkshakes bring everyone to the yard haha! Yes I’ll have to check an umbrella which I hate. BUT, like Lil’ Kim said on the VMA’s you can’t keep a bad btich down.