The Adventures of the NSP

Where have all the good men gone & where are all the Gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight on a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss & turn & I dream of what I need

Last night I had one of the most weirdest dreams I’ve ever had. I was alone in a house & playing music dancing alone. I look in the mirror to see that its not me. It was someone else’s face, a face I did not know. But in the dream I knew it was me. I also somehow knew that I had committed a crime that I hadn’t committed. My punishment was to be death. I had tried to explain to everyone that I was not guilty but there was no use. Then the music stopped & I had made my decision that I would not let someone take my life. Instead if there was to be no more dancing then I would be the one to take it. There was this huge tree next to the window & there was rope nearby. So I made the noose & climbed into the tree. As I stood there I decided before I did it I needed to do one last thing. I wanted to swing from the rope like a child. I wanted to feel that swoop that you feel while you’re swinging. Trying to get as high as you can in the sky. So I grabbed on tight & began to swing when all of a sudden the rope took on this magic ability & broke free from the tree & started taking me away from the house. Out over a cornfield. I could feel the breeze through my hair. I could see the house getting farther away. I felt free. I was highly afraid of being that high but all I knew was that I couldn’t let go. Then all of a sudden I heard a loud, peircing bell like noise. The rope all of a sudden changed course & started going back to the house. I screamed NO!

RING! RING! RING! Its 7:40 a.m. & its time to start another day! Thank goodness it’s just a dream because obviously its not my time to go. I realize its been a hot NY minute since I’ve last blogged & I really had planned on blogging more this month. I’ve recently been inspired by others’ blogs. Its interesting to see how candid people can be about their lives. Myself included I supose. A friend of mine who I hadn’t got to talk to in about 7yrs found me online & was reading my blog & then said, "Thats cool that you can be that way. I would like to be but what if I ever wanted to run for office or something like that?" Well as for me, I could never do such shizz because I’ve been up to craziness now for years. I mean really, I couldn’t even say it with a straight face. Bitches would come out of hiding from the East Village to California saying they’ve handled my bizz. So to Britney & all u other crazy bizznitches I feel ur pain. Then again I’m not running around with Paris Hilton not wearing undies, showing my goodies for all the papparazzi to see! Note to Brit: PUT on panties & take care of ur babies & stop hanging out w/Paris! As you have noticed the last few blogs have had a sad undertone. My Aunt(bless your heart) was ready to send me a Hug A Gram or some shizz. I think her last comment said something like, "Please get back to the happy stuff instead of this depressing stuff." I chalk it up to dying my hair dark & the fact that all of NY NIghtlife has been screwed over. It was quite the spectacle when I came into work with really dark hair. I kid you not, everyone on my floor had something to say about it. We’re talking about the prez to even random ass Kenny in the mailroom! It still cracks me up to hear some people go, "Wow you look great dark!" Then hear another go,"Awww I miss the blonde!" My favorite is when this girl(who I rarely talk to) comes up to me & goes, "I’ve spent the last 10 minutes trying to decide which color I like. I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re like Madonna. You can do any color." WERK! Even Cammie D was on Leno the other night talking about her different hair shades & how its interesting how different guys hit on her when she’s brunette. I had to agree that now when I have a dumb moment I can’t blame it on the blonde. Hell its winter & apparently it is the thing to do. Shout out to my Aunt bc she did it too haha. Thats right the apple doesn’t fall from the hair dye tree.

Thanksgiving came & went so quickly that I feel I didn’t have enough time to be thankful for much. Well except wine. Ohmymoo I drank so much wine in 2 days that by Sat nite I was like No More Drunken Hines! Leamme lone! But I did have a great time. All my friends came over & we had our own thanksgiving dinner which was so good. I’ve been paying for it on the treadmill everyday this week! But well I can’t totally blame it on that. I can not hide my vanity. Especially when I’m sitting here at work & I see the latest People’s Sexiest Men. Wow, Matthew McConaho may not like deoderant but he is one sexy beast! I bumped into him one time on the street in the Village, very handsome even in person I must say. Recently, I went to go bowling & I surely shared an elevator with Edward Norton. He’s about my height & looks pretty much the way he does on screen. I figured I would mention that becuase my friend Shuley loves her some him!

I’ve been sitting here writing for the past hour or so & I feel like I am all over every subject. I guess I’m just feeling highly alive today. Is it because I walked by the tree in Rockerfeller Center & thought it was cool bc tonight its gonna be lit up? Nope. Its because I’ve finally gotten confirmation that I have somewhere to dance again. Thats right, Roxy is finally open again! They’ve been trying now for a month & finally this Saturday its being reopened. It’s gonna be tough becuase they owe SO much in taxes every week so I realize that there may be future problems btu for now it will be there. I’ve been going to a few places but they have really sucked my ass. I don’t like doing the bar scene really. I mean why spend so much money on drinks when I can at home at free? And it ain’t like I’m trying to meet anybody. Good Lord, I have enough on my plate with having one man! Luv ya Punkin! And staying home can get really boring for someone like me. I realize that not everyone feels this way & will be like who cares. But, for those of you who ARE like me & do care…..well we can rejoice. I’m not gonna lie & say that this whole month has been utter shit. We’ve had plenty of fun just doing stuff at the apartment. Going to the 80’s club, bowling, movies, random bars. But don’t let my dark & brooding phase fool you. Baby needs to dance. Scuse me, nobody puts baby in a corner! I realize its only Hump Day but I feel like that little penguin in Happy Feet. Get ready….get ur hair did….get your drink from open bar….take your body to the floor……YOUR DISCO NEEDS YOU!

Desperately seeking someone willing to travel
You’re lost in conversation and useless at Scrabble
Happiness will never last darkness comes to kick your ass
So lets dance through all our fears
War is over for a bit
You’re a slave to the rhythm do your part, cure a lonely heart

Times they are a changing! All things come to an end, good or bad. Everyone has their own thoughts on which is which. There’s been so much going on recently that I can not sit silent without offering my 2 cents. Well, in my case…3 cents. First things first, I’m ecstatic in the fact that the Democrats took over the House of Representatives. At current time we’re up in the air to see about the other House, its a wait & see game about Virginia apparently. Donald Rumsfield resigned & Bush sounded like a utter moron while he addressed the nation in a speech a few hours ago. Then again I am not shocked by this. Nothing to me thats ever come out of his mouth seems to make much sense. BUT, I do honestly feel that things are about to change for the better. That nagging feeling of ‘this country is going to hell in a hand basket’ is easing on me & ooh does it fit ever so nicely.

Whats not been fitting oh so nicely would be some of my pants. Imagine my shock and awe when I got on the scale yesterday & saw a very disappointing 165 lbs. I know to some of you this sounds stupid. “Nick, you look fine, blah blah omg ur body is great!” To others I bet you’re ready to hold my hair as I barf up the soup & pasta that I ate for lunch just a few hrs ago. I’ve always had a high metabolism and if I gain any weight I can lose it quite quickly. At least this is what I’m hoping for. I’ve been quite lax about my cardio in the past few weeks & due to gym problems I wasn’t able to go to dance class. I dread going back actually. I remember the last time I noticed I had gained a few one tiny little asshole goes, “Oh Nick I can see you’re getting a little bigger. You use to be so toned!” Well I surely pulled a Suzanne Sugarbaker from Designing Women and came back to the next class tight & trim(with new highlights) and made my way to the front of class & danced circles around him. Last week at Pop Rocks this ugly thought was first thrown in my face. Jordan was talking aloud about his disdain for his weight gain when this runt goes, “Well its ok, your boyfriend is fat too!” Said runt was a friend of Jason’s who was only visiting for the week. I tried to laugh this comment off being that I can & will lose the 10 lbs I gained but he will ALWAYS be short & ugly looking like a long lost cousin of the 7 Dwarfs. Needless to say his 1 week trial membership to Our Club was revoked. I may be Mr. Popular but don’t piss me off. It goes back to that old phrase that goes ‘You can piss on a bitch but don’t don’t piss a bitch off!’ Hmmm , then again in my case don’t do any of the above! Our culture is like that though. Where as most men don’t worry if they get a little bit of belly, we succomb to that wonderful idealism that is looking our absolute best. How it happenned I don’t know. I was once going to make a whole blog about this subject but was afraid that it would upset or bother too many people. What I do know is I’m back at the gym hardcore & I’ve been all over the treadmill as if it was a nice big piece of cake. I know I shouldn’t even care about this, I mean there are children in Africa that don’t even have treadmills to run on or even cake for that matter.

Take David Banda for instance. The little boy from Malawi that Madonna adopted. I honestly think its a wonderful thng that she did & why the hell is everyone givng her a hard time about it. I want to know where all these people were when he & many other countless children were dying & suffering & starving. They didn’t seem to care to much then so why the hell now? The world is a crazy place. As I was online yesterday trying to go over the pro’s & con’s of all the people in the election I was thinking wow, today really is an important day. Its the chance & beginning to make way to change. Then at around 2pm I came back from lunch & news came that Britney FINALLY divorced Kevin. Yay for her that she finally is taking control over her life & dumping that piece of shit to the curb. It’s not like she didn’t see the signs. I mean hello y’all….when she got with him he had already got his girlfriend preggers with a second baby. Once a low down dirty bastard always a L.D.D.B! Maybe she should remake Cold Hearted with an interlude sampling, “You’re no good, you’re no good, you’re no good…baby you’re no good!” I hope that now since she isn’t his meal ticket anymore he’ll just go away. Looks like his gravy train is all out!

Speaking of all OUT can I get a big Amen on the amount of people coming out of the closet? I used to see Neil Patrick Harris around bars I would go to from time to time. I just kind of figured that it was categorized as something everyone knew. The guy from Grey’s Anatomy…..ummm…whats his name….oh well I don’t watch the show but good for you too. RJ from the 1st season of American Idol(when I actually wached it) also had an interview in Hx recently dealing with his homoness. Once again, my gaydar had went beep beep beep yrs ago especially when I saw him packing ahem wearing tight leather pants on the show. But then again I ain’t one to gossip so you didn’t hear from me. If anything we’re probably gonna see more of these guys now. Lord knows Lance Bass has been in the press more than he has been in the past 5 yrs. So here’s to hoping for that change.

But for all the things we’re winning we haven’t gone completely without casualties. As I said in the last blog it was a fear that Roxy would close forever. Well, folks I have to say the nail is in fact in the coffin. Due to $300,000 in unpaid taxes they will not be reopening. I got an email from my friend that dj’s there & he confirmed it all for me. I also just found out that one of the Hot Spots that was on Fire Island was torn down as well. We’re talking a place that has 30-40 soem yrs of gay history is now gone. Sure, they’re gonna build up over it. Reopen it. But like 54 in its hey day magic like that is rarely recreated. 54 also went under due to tax evasion. Funny how money does that kind of thing. People can get get so wrapped up in the goodtimes that they dont’ pay attention to Big Brother watching every move you make. It’s hard for me to think that I’ve been going there for yrs & I’ve seen Madonna, Cher, Beyonce, Pussycat Dolls and plenty of other music acts there. Jennifer Lopez started dancing there. I’ve heard Peter Rauhofer, Junior Vasquez, Offer Nissim there. Many dj’s have gotten thier starts there. Manny Lehman, even my friend Joe. The amount of times I’ve danced on that stage its hard to know that I won’t dance there anymore. Always in the back of my head, I had hoped that I would someday perform my own song there. On that very stage. I realize that yes its just a club but in a way it was still a dream for me at least. The dream will not be forgotten. Only re-imagined I guess. Where will be the brand new hotness? I don’t know but you can be sure that I have my best men on it.

So what happens now?
Another dancefloor in another hall
We’ll take some pictures in another bar
We’ll get by we always have before
So don’t ask anymore.

A long, long time ago I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew that if I had my chance
I could make those people dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while

I realize once again its been a little while since I’ve blogged. October only brought 1 & for this one I had planned to write all about my crazy Halloween week. Because lets face it, the craziness that my friends & I get into is the news that you want to hear. But it was brought to my attention early this a.m. that my favorite club in the city, The Roxy, has been shut down. Remember when I mentioned in the last blog about there being a shooting there on a straight night? Well sure enough(2 & a half weeks later) the police & court have shut it down because of that incident. So far this year we’ve lost many a club to some kind of foolishness. Avalon to tax evasion, prostitution, drugs….well just think of anything & name it. They close it down, it gets opened for a week & WHAM! Closed again. Spirit was closed months ago for who even knows but I think the same. Opaline got moved every 5 minutes literally. Distortion Disco at Duvet shut down because of some argument about Lance Bass trying to have a book party there for his bf. Hell even, one of our fav bars XL shut its doors as well. Where have all the good clubs gone & where are all the Gods? Might I also add that one of my favorite stores, Tower Records, is closing as well. Sure I was excited to go there & see that cds were 50% off but c’mon its like someone is sucking out my will to dance. Someone tell me how this happenned?

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
She just smiled and turned away
Well I went down to the sacred store
Where I heard the music years before
But the man there, said the music wouldn’t play

In Dec of ‘99 I came here with my friend Blair. I was trying to decide if I was gonna move here or not. We had read about Roxy & had tried to find it but in all honesty got lost. So we ended up at Splash. I remember thinking it was the brand new hotness. A few months later when I ended up moving here I began going there ALL the time. I finally decided to go to Roxy & i remember being nervous becuase it was the biggest club I had ever been to. I remember feeling incredibly shy around all the muscular men. I was 22 & never took my shirt off because I was like 140 lbs. To put it nicely I was a twink. At first I didn’t like it as much as Splash but as a yr or so passed I found myself loving it. Open bar, the pop room upstairs, the hunks all had my complete attention every Saturday night. Rarely even going to Splash. Funnily enough I now look at that place as a tourist spot. Because in all honesty that is where they seem to go. As for Roxy it holds a lot of firsts for me. It was my first big mega club. It was the first place that I ever heard Peter Rauhofer dj. The first time I tried ecstasy was there. I know many of you can understand because you’ve either taken part or been with me. Now, let me just go ahead & say drugs & alcohol are bad mmmk. Its very easy to get caught up into it for whatever reason. I’ve experienced firsthand the joys & sadness of what it can do to you. I guess you can say its something I’ve seen some friends & myself wrestle with. In the beginning though it wasn’t about any of that. It started with the music & the dancefloor. I was oblivious to all the other stuff going on. I remember staying until 5 or so just dancing & dancing & friends being like I don’t see how you do it. One said, “I can’t handle this place unless chemically enhanced.” And for quite some time I was THE sober one. I was 24 when all of that began to change. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun but there were prices to pay. I guess you can say I’ve been discovering that Nick from yesterday. Its been nice. As I’m writing this I can’t help but wonder where the hell am I going with this. I guess I’m just taking stock of everything thats been going on in my life while in New York. On the dancefloor is where I’m happiest. So maybe you can just say that I lost my way for a while. Recently it seems that my friends & I have been talking about the happiest of our times here. Last night we all managed to get to go to Pop Rocks which is now at a new location as well. It was fun but in unison we all said, “It’s NO Flamingo East!” Which is where Pop Rocks used to be. Every Thrusday night. On the East side is where we all met, where we all danced, where we all rocked Open Bar. The DJ who I call Uncle Fester would play ALL my jams literally. And there we would be doing all the breakdown moves of If, I’m a Slave 4 U, Pop & Music. We’d all sing at the top of our lungs to Lady Marmalade & Fantasy. Gyrate to How Many Licks. Just thinking of it puts a smile upon my face. For the show that is Our Life the first season would have to be like that one.

Now do you believe in rock n’ roll
And can music save your mortal soul
And can it teach me how to dance real slow

So where to go now? What to do? What will be the brand new hotness? That seems to be the question on most of our minds today. As I face a weekend of proposed calmness I will think about this. Tonight Jordan, Shawn & whoever else wants to go are gonna watch Saw 3. Vadim is getting on a bus to go upstate, Jason will most likely be walking his dog, Chase will watch his football game that we taped for him. As for now no one is excited about the weekend really. Halloween was so crazy I think everyone is due for a little chill time. Which is good for not only the body but the mind & the soul. Maybe I’ll go back to Tower to buy some more music really cheap before its all gone. The other day I decided to finally count how many cds I really have. Drum roll……after counting each & EVERY one I have 1,236 cds. Yep, I wasn’t kidding when I say I have the Wall of Soound. Maybe I’ll just dj for myself for a little bit. Dance to my own music. We’ll see. But I do know this, if indeed Roxy is gonna close for good I will miss it.

Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove the Chevy to the Levee
But the Levee was dry
And good old boys were drinking whiskey & rye
Singing this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die
We started singing…..we started singing…….