The Adventures of the NSP

In my last blog I talked about the groundhog not seeing his shadow & the possible scenarios in why he didn’t see it. Well, after the last few weeks & the incidents that have happenned I have come to the conclusion that he was in fact in a K Hole & thats why he didn’t see his shadow because for one…..its been fucking cold for the last few weeks. His reason for this MUST have been because he was hanging out with Britney Spears! As reality swoops in I can’t help but say that words can’t describe my thoughts on her crazy ass. Actually, yes I do……..”GURL YOU HAVE LOST YO DAMN MIND!” In the past week she’s been in rehab twice only to leave in less then 24 hrs. This bitch must think she’s going to a cool new club that has an open bar. That is quite a clever idea. Maybe I should look into this. Open a club called Rehab & have a limited open bar. Maybe it will also have Baby Check, that way you can drop your babies off(Tater Tot, Walker & Texas Ranger) while you get your drink on & dance with strippers. Hmmm, I am getting ahead of myself. But seriously, the whole shaved head, ALL of it sickens me. I am worried for her life. Britney, please do not become Anna Nicole!

Thats another situation that we can’t seem to escape online or on t.v. Everyone & they’re brother have claimed that they’re the baby’s daddy. Its such a sad situation to me. Its obvious that Howard K. Stern is an ass & has dollar signs for a brain. As in for just WHO is the baby’s daddy? Well I guess we’ll all have to wait & just keep reading the updates on TMZ & perezhilton. The online blogs have really taken over news. They have news before anyone else it seems. The only thing that bothers me is that when Brit was in Rehab they were trying to get pictures of her there. The same with Lindsay. Ok its one thing to blow up peoples spots & stuff but when they really do try to get help, they should butt out. I guess thats the one thing I’m hoping for Brit. Maybe she left to try to go somewhere where she can’t be found. At this point she really needs to. Like for a long, long, long time. At this point her shenanigans look worse than Madonna’s Sex book, Mariah’s Glitter break down & Janet’s Nipplegate put together. Because it adds kids in the mix. It just goes to show you, any idiot can have children but it takes a real parent to take care of them. So someone save Danielynne & Brit’s boys asapenis!

With that out of the way, I must say 2007 is not what I expected it to be. Rehab seems to be the brand new hotness but for reasons I do not understand. Someone calls someone a F-ggot or a N-gger & then 5 mins later they’re in Rehab! I think I have just come to the conclusion that most of the world has lost its head. 15 people were laid off at my job last week & quite a few of them were a shock to me. I’ve been told that I’m fine but who the hell knows. What I do know is that I am still not a fan of these hrs I work. I managed to be able to get out early yesterday. So off I whisked to dance class. It had been over a month since I was able to go & boy oh boy was it crowded. There were a lot of guys this time. Plenty of new faces. I overheard some talking about how they had just came from this audition & that one. By the time I had secured a spot I was stuck in the back. I did get to see my friend Laire who I haven’t seen in a long time. We both used to take classes together years ago & she does background work on Saturday Night Live. She was telling me of all these new classes & how good they were & oh yeah, they start at 6 & 6:30. Which sucks my balls because I’m at work until 7. Then Johnnie P(the teacher) came in & surveyed the crowd. Johhnie is about 5′4 & 48 yrs old but the man can move like no other. I remember when I started to take him years ago I initially thought, “I wonder how good he is.” In 5 minutes time I was blown away becuase he was dancing circles around plenty of the competition. He can do hip-hop & he can do Broadway style jazz. He also choreographs skits for Regis & Kelly and done Broadway Bares. Needless to say, it felt good to be back in class if only for the day and if I was stuck all the way in the back it was ok. Then Johnnie says, “Ok, anyone who hasn’t been here before should not be standing in the front line. Not being mean, but if you don’t know the warmup then you should move back.” Then a couple spots open in the front & he looks at it & then looks in my direction, “Nicky I need you in the front.” And just like that Baby was no longer in the corner.

There are some days that I can take class & feel like I am the worst dancer on earth but that wasn’t this case yesterday. By the end of the class a few of the new boys were coming up to me saying that when they couldn’t see Johnnie they looked at me. Not gonna lie, I loved it. Then when I was saying goodbye to Laire she goes, “Boy get back to entertaining or something bc your just as good as u always were.” Its funny what not taking a class for over a month can do to you. I felt alive & I felt so happy to be back. I also decided that I have to make sure I get to take these classes no matter what. So I am currently working on a plan to be able to. I’ll keep you up to date on how that goes. Besides the hrs that I work, the other thing that has pissed me off is the fact that I have not been paid overtime for my hrs. This is suppose to be taken care of but honestly if its not on the next one then there are gonna be major consequences. I guess we’ll just have to wait & see.

In some other disheartening news it has come to my attention that Roxy will be officially closed in a few weeks. Its being torn down for good & in its place will be some condo’s. I know I said it months ago but this time its for real. Nothing else can be done. Vadim & I have decided that we will have to be there each Saturday that it is opened for the next few weeks. I may not even drink during this because I want to make sure I remember ALL of it. Ok, now thats too serious. Its not like I went to Rehab, I refuse to go along with the crowd. Maybe I’ll just have a few drinks. Good thing I don’t have any babies or I’d try to be like Brit & I’d check em at coat check. I kid! I kid! One thing I won’t be doing is shaving my head! Tmes are tough but they ain’t that tough! India Arie may not be her hair but I am all about mine!

Until later kids! mad luv to u all!

This morning Mr. Groundhog(suposedly named Chuck) came out & didn’t see his shadow! So this means that we will see an early spring. Is this shit for real? I have never understood this. What if Chuck is blind or some shizz & can’t see his shadow anyway. What if Chuck is a lil ditsy & somehow thinks its another groundhog? What if Chuch is an angry hog & sees his shadow but acts like he doesn’t see it just so we get all excited? The answers to these questions I guess we’ll never know since animals can not talk. In a perfect Nick world animals COULD talk & they would say whatever is on their mind. In my world Chuck would be named C Boogie & after hibernating with his pimps & ho’s he’d come out saying, “I’m in a K Hole! get me out of here!” Or he’d come out saying, “Damn you sho is ugly!” Now if this were the case I’d be doubling over in laughter bc anyone who knows me, knows I love the idea of talking animals. But, this is all in Nick’s Wonderland. In reality I’m sitting here at work wishing someone would get me out of my hole that I call work. But really, I can’t complain. At least its not crazy right now. In a lil bit everyone is gonna get together and watch the commercials that they put together for the SuperBowl and drink beer & wine.

Which brings me to this……Hi, My name is Nick & I haven’t had a drink in 5 days. Cue Chuck the Groundhog: “HEY BITCH!” So you all know that last weekend was my 3 Nights Only tour of NYC. I went out Fri, Sat & Sun night. I rocked it out doing my best Molly Ringwald dance at the 80’s club that is Pyramid on Fri night. On Sat I went to Roxy & had a dance off with some dude & mmmhhmm you don’t even have to ask…..I won. I didn’t get home until sometime after 5 then slept for a few hrs & got up to meet my friends at Brunch. I got there with a slight headache but as soon as I drank one bellini the headache was gone! We stayed there for 4 hrs drinking the unlimited bellini’s. Hey, please we know how to roll & where to roll….ok? Then we went on to Rob’s, drank more and ate pizza. Finally by 7 I was like ohmymoo I need a nap! I went home & slept for 3 hrs. I woke up thinking, “Good God man, I’m not sure if I can go out again.” Well cut to me 1 hr later hanging out with Brad & EJ and our fav bartender Pedro dishing out free drinks. The whole weekend was fun & good times & it was so good to be out with my boys causing shenanigans, laughing, dancing shirtless & getting drizzed!

Well then flash forward to my work week. Cray to the Z! Wednesday at work was absolutley nuts. It was brought to us by the letter D for Drama & lemme tell ya each day has kicked my ass. On Monday & Tuesday night I had random fever’s & all week my throat has been swollen. It was my body’s way of cutting me on the face. I imagine if my liver had a character his name would be Drunken Hines and he was probably screaming, “Leav me lone u crazy cracka!” So, Mr. Hines I feel you and I do have love for you so for this week & weekend I will be a good boy & I will leave you alone. I say this as I see ALL my coworkers walking upstairs to go have a drink. Damn! Damn! Damn!

Speaking of rehab, doesn’t it seem like its the new IN thing to do now for everybody? From Lindsay Lohan to Mike Tyson to Kate Moss’ bf to Isiah Washington for some Anger Management. Well, I am never one to jump on a bandwagon so I will just make a promise to myself & my liver that I will be good. My mom said that when I do thing I always do them big. I’m just that way. Which leads me to ask myself, “Where am I going with this?” I don’t know but maybe…possibly Chuck the Groundhog didn’t see his shadow bc he was hungover after a long night out with his pimps & ho’s. Chuck, I feel you & I understand you. I also have love for you. How bout you & ur boys meet me & my boys out for a drink next week?

Chuck aka C Boogie: I’ll see you there! Kudos to you & I wish you an ounce of luck. THANKS BITCH!