The Adventures of the NSP

Last week before I left for NC I was in a slight mood. Work had been annoying me. I wasn’t motivated in dance class & I felt as if I was just going through the motions. New York has its ability to get on your nerves from time to time. The noises, the rudeness, some people’s behavior, the hustle & bustle…..it can all be too much for a guy who was originally from the south. A place that can be too quiet for words.

If I could escape
I would, but first of all let me say
I must apologize for acting stank & treating you this way
Cause I’ve been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It’s your fault you didn’t shut the refridgerator
Maybe that’s the reason I’ve been acting so cold

When it came time to fly down to NC I was ready but somehow even before I left the apt I was feeling uneasy. My mom is notorious for being late. We’ve all said time & time again that she would be late for own funeral. So it came as no shock to me that when I landed in Greensboro she was not there. No biggie, it was early in the am & I had slept maybe a few hours. I had the whole day to feel tired so no need to now. She called me saying she was looking for the exit to the airport. After some more minutes waiting she finally made it. We spent some of the day shopping at the mall & off to various stores that she wanted to go to. It was ok to me, I had no plans on the agenda for the day. I was also carless being that I don’t drive here in the city. I would totally have to rely on everyone else to drive me around. I felt like I was 15 again.

Wait…..hold up. This is beginning to sound like an episode of Gilmore Girls or some other teen angst show on the CW. Or whatever that channel is called now. I haven’t watched it in years. So instead of bringing up the lowpoints & boring parts(which there were plenty), I will chitty chat about the funny & interesting ones. The first 3 days I spent in NC felt like I was doing the NC Mountain Tour. My mom was driving around some of everywhere & stopping at every gas station that she could to only put in a few dollars of gas in at a time. Then would rant & rave when it ran out not long after. I swear the woman would not fill up the tank because she was sure that people were stealing her gas once she got home. I kept fearing that at any minute we would end up stranded. Oh wait, oops! I said I wouldn’t use this blog to bitch. So anyway, one of the best parts about my trip was being able to see a friend of mine from school. We were besties for years. From 7th grade on. But then we lost touch after I moved to NY. So for 7 yrs I’ve wondered how she had been. Then a funny thing happenned a few months back. My little sister Anna got a boyfriend & it turns out he is the little brother to my former bestie. So imagine my excitement to be able to see her again. We decided that we needed some time together to catch up & in order to deal this we also decided a few vodka cranberries. So we spent that night in my hotel room getting buzzed. Ok sloshed. But we caught up on each other’s lives & it was some of the most fun I’d had in a while. So being that we were both sloshed, I wasn’t about to have her drive home so she stayed with me. It was a blast until the next morning. I was suppose to wake up early to go to my sister’s award ceremony but alas the alarm did not wake me up. In very unlike her norm, my mom showed up early to get me. I had only been awake for a few minutes still getting the sleep out of my eyes & still in my lil shorts. I normally sleep in nothing but I firgured I would be nice to my friend & sleep in some kind of jammies. So opening the door my mom looked down at my shorts then looks over at the car. “Is That Ashley’s car?” Yes mom. “Is she here now?” Yes, she had to stay the night. Then saying nothing else (because she didn’t need to) she said, “Well I have to get going. Call me when your fully awake.” In other words call me when your not busy being a whore. It didn’t help matters when later in the day I told her that I had plans to meet up with my other friend Adrienne. “Isn’t she married?” No, she’s in the process of getting divorced. Silence. I wasn’t even about to get into an argument with her because when she has something in her head there is no telling her any different. Besides I didn’t come down to spend the hours fighting. So I guess my mom thinks my reason for coming down was to get down with the get down strictly with the married ladies. Adrienne said, “Well duh! Your purpose is to service the ladies of NC!”

If I could escape & recreate a place that’s my own world
& I could be your favourite BOY(forever), Perfectly together
Tell me girl now wouldn’t that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet, I know I’ve been a real bad boy (I’ll try to change)
I didn’t mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better, Tell me girl wouldn’t that be sweet?

On the last day of visiting before I left for Wilmington my mom took me out to the old house where she has kept all our old belongings, pictures & such. This was actually really cool to me. I got to see pictures of me from when I was a kid. Now I say this, I knew I was a fat baby but good lawd! I was a fucking fat baby! I was apparently put on a diet by the doctor but my grandfather kept feeding me bananas & whatever else I wanted because he figured I was just hungry when I cried. Speaking of, we did get in a quick visit with him. Which was awkward because he kept talking about the new lady that he may be seeing. Mind you, his second wife just passed away a few months ago. I tried to keep my opinion to myself but at one point I told my sister that she had better stay away because he has the dick o death. She thought this was highlarious & I realize I shouldn’t say such things but what can I say? Sometimes I can not filter. At one point my mom got into a discussion with my grandfather about my dad & how he liked to drink. She said, “I always said if I could get him away from his friends his partying ways would calm down.” I’m not sure if she knew I was listening but that statement hit home in a lot of ways. I thought of Jordan & how he would probably agree with my mom about me. It was in that moment I realized maybe I’m more like him then I realized. I couldn’t help but smile.

You held me down, I’m at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out, I need to get me out of this joint
Come on let’s bounce, counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around, let’s look for some common ground
So baby, times get a little crazy
I’ve been gettin’ a little lazy, waitin’ on you to come save me
I can see that you’re angry by the way that you treat me
Hopefully you don’t leave me, wanna take you with me

Finally it was time to jet off to Wilmington with my girl Shuley. We had a long drive of 4 hrs to get to the coast so naturally she made me drive. The next day I took Shuley to work & then I spent the day driving around & spending the day with some of my favorite people. That’s right…..me, myself & I. The past few days had felt like I was trying to squeeze so much in that it was nice to finally just be. To actually relax. I went to a music store & found some ol skool vinyl so that was awesome. I then took myself out to lunch to McCalister’s. A place that I had worked when I lived there. Their soup is some of my most favorite in the world. But only this time something seemed off about it. Somehow it didn’t hold that special spark that it once had. The same with my oh so favorite Chic Fil-a. I realize it’s just fast food but since I don’t have it in NY I thought I’d be all about it. Only this time, I wasn’t. I also decided that I would be a good gay boy & make my way to the gym. Boy did I feel funny when I walked in & I heard rock music & then see plenty of straight people. For an hour & a half I worked out. Straight guys asking me to spot them & then this one guy wanted me to show him my form. Normally guys here use this device to flirt. Only there were no gays around. Boy was I in an alternate universe. My friend Matt said in his dryest, “Ummm…the gays do not work out around here.”

Later that night we went out to THE gay club in Wilmington. On Fridays they have the drag show which I’m glad I was drunk for. But I did get to see Tara Nicole do her signature dance & then roll her big ass across the floor. Later she came up to me & tongued me in the mouth. I was not ready & neither was Shuley when she grabed her head & smushed them in between her boobs. I think she is the reason I have had a cough this week. I am totes livid about it. We eventually called it a night & Brent drove us back to Shuley’s apartment only for her to then realize that somehow she had lost her keys. So being the sweet sweet person that Brent is he took us back to his house & we slept there. Saturday was pretty much spent trying to get keys remade & done for her car. So it looked like no beach day for me that day. But it was all good, things happen. That night when we went out all of us made sure the key master was not Shuley. I’m picturing her face right now as she reads this & I can’t help it. I have to say it. Come closer. Closer. Suck….my….balls. I said this while drunk the night before. Hey! Someone has to lighten the mood when bad things happen.

So anyway, we were getting our drink on when I hear my song The Sweet Escape come on. Everyone looked tired & not wanting to shake their money maker. So off I went to dance on my own. I made it to the floor & I was getting my groove on when these 3 girls came up to me. “Do you not see all the guys checking you out?” I said no because I was busy dancing to my song. Then one girl said you probably intimidate them because you’re so hot. Ok, so I’m not trying to sound conceited but flattery is one of my favorite things. It used to be the quickest way to get into my pants haha but now its the quickest way to become my newfound bestie. Needless to say these girls became my new besties for the next hour. I had not realized that by dressing in a tight tank top & really tight jeans I would have caused so much scandal. I’m sure JLo felt the same way when she wore that dress to the Grammy’s. So after a few more drinks that the girls bought for me my other peeps were ready to go. Besides, even in my buzzed state I was making sure that I was gonna get myself to the beach for the day. Which we did. Brent, Shuley, my other friend Ashley & I had a good time & I finally got some sun. Then it was off to a quick dinner & then I needed to get back to pack. My flight out of Wilmington was at 6 am so I got in a few hours of sleep. Shuley took me to the airport & we had a lil emotional goodbye. But I was definitely ready to get home. New York was calling. Mind you, throughout the weekend my friends in NY kept calling me leaving drunk messages about how they missed me. I had said that no one better have fun while I’m away. I guess they didn’t listen. Needless to say I was not ready for Tom’s drunk message singing And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going. And I’m telling you Tom, don’t ever do that again or I will take your money & go the bar. Which is what I’m totally ready for this weekend. Me & my boys are getting together & I’m sure there will be mayhem. I can’t wait. What’s funny is when I got out of the cab with my luggage I saw these 2 men getting into an argument & cursing at each other. I smiled & in my head I thought that it sure felt good to be home.

Woohoo, Yeehoo (I wanna get away, get away)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (To our sweet escape)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (I wanna get away)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (Yeah)
Woohoo, Yeehoo
Woohoo, Yeehoo

For the past few months I’ve only been able to spit out a blog a month. My creative mind has been off & on. I would get an interesting idea or I would think of a hot topic that I wanted to discuss & then work would beckon. The next thing I know is that my inner voice would get silenced & I would think ‘oh, I’ll just do it later.’ Well it’s Hump Day & I’m finding myself with some extra free time. Yippee!!! So I should jump on it like I’ve got lube on it. This past weekend I found myself having tons of free time to myself. Jordan went to Fire Island where he didn’t have the best of times. But for me, it was all about leisure. Mind you I cleaned the apt & hung out with friends & even went to a bday party. But the most fun thing for me was music shopping. I have a vast amount of cds, tapes & vinyl & I’ve come to realize that I could have all the music in the world & still not have enough. But what I really love is going to these little music shops in the village & finding ol skool stuff. I could spend hours upon hours actually. Recently, I found a vinyl of Annie Lennox’s Little Bird complete with remixes I had never heard. Whats funny is that I had been thinking about that song earlier in the week & I had been thinking I need to get that. I have it on cassette single but that does me no good since I no longer have a tape player. Then voila I found it! As I walked out of the shop I saw this couple near the corner of the street. A girl & a guy. The woman had all these bags & she was clearly the brand new hotness(to herself that is). As I got closer I could hear her going on & on about how he needed to take her here & he needed to do this & that. In her Wrong Island… scuse me… Long Island accent she goes, “Gary, I swear to Gawd….sometimes you just don’t get it Gary….ya just….don’t….get it.” I looked at Gary(poor soul) & I felt pity. He never said anything as she went on & on. Kind of just taking it as she went on & on. We were all standing on the sidewalk waiting to cross the street when out of nowhere a bird decided to relieve himself on the precious jewish princess. “Gary! A bird just took a shit on me & my new Hermes bag Gary!” I was ready to burst into laughter but I thought maybe I should hold it in until I cross the street. But in my head all I could think of was the bird possibly thinking Shut the fuck up! So this thought of the talking bird added to my glee so I had to let it out. Gary looked at me & smiled. I could tell he thought it was funny too but obvi he couldn’t let on. I thought to myself yay! for you bird…but, bad for you Gary.

I look up to the little bird
That glides across the sky
He sings the clearest melody
It makes me want to cry
It makes me want to sit right down & cry, cry cry

I walk along the city streets
So dark with rage & fear
And I, I wish that I could be that bird
And fly away from here
I wish I had the wings to fly away from here

Work has been bizzy bizzy bizzy ever since Jennifer left. Not for other people, but mostly for me because I now do a job that 2 people did before. I am also assisting someone so that makes for an interesting time. I constantly wonder how certain things are expected of me when all of this extra stuff has been added. At this point I figure well things will get done when they get done so no need to worry about it. What I do find funny is the main concern everyone always has is the fact that I must get lonely. Semi-crazy old lady Joan always worries herself to death over this fact. “I don’t see how you deal with being all by yourself now.” This is actually highlarious to me. I was an only child for almost 10 years & plenty of times I found myself entertaining myself. I would always find ways to keep busy. I would have my Masters of the Universe toys act out a dramatic play. One that I would have always made up in my head. I would watch tv & movies & plenty of times I would act out my own favorite part line for line. I mean, I certainly knew how to play well with others & it’s no secret I’ve never been short of having plenty of friends. But, I can also have just as much fun dancing & singing with myself. So at work as long as I have my music & can read my celeb blogs I’m perfectly fine. What gets nuts is when it gets busy(normally it happens all at once) & everyone is wanting something. Thats when I think hmmm it would be nice if it wasn’t just me. It would be nice to share the workload.

But my my I feel so low
My my oh where do I go?
My my oh what do I know?
My my we reap what we sow
They always said that you knew best
But this little birds fallen out of that nest now
I’ve got a feeling that it might have been blessed
So I’ve just to put these wings to test

Next week I’m taking a flight on down to North Carolina. Yep, its that time again. It’s been a year since I’ve been down & I’m looking forward to it actually. My cousin Misty had a baby a few months ago so I’m eager to see the lil brand new hotness. I’m also looking forward to seeing some old freinds I’ve not seen in forever. My sister Anna’s boyfriend is the brother of one of my besties from way back in the day. Its funny how that all worked out. I remember my friend talking about her little brother ages ago. It also reminds me that time is catching up with me. But its ok because I can still run with a quickness. For a few days I’ll be in Elkin seeing the fam & then the last few days I’ll spend in Wilmington with my beach peeps. Auntie M you better be ready to Raise UP! I’ve been working on getting the base tan so hopefully I’ll be ready. It’ll be cool to be away & hopefully I’ll be missed. Jordan is going away to Fire Island. Vadim has already planned to not be here either. Clearly, it ain’t a party if I ain’t here too! So wish me luck on my journey Friendsters, Myspacers, my Asian Fans. This little bird is ready to take flight.